Hi I'm new and confused

[susieash]

Hello
I found this website yesterday and I've been reading as much as I can - everyone sounds so nice and helpful. It's made me want to say abit about myself.
I'm nearly 30 and have been suffering with panic attacks on and off for a while but am now having constant anxiety. Started last year when I became pregnant and very ill, had to have operations, my baby was born 8 weeks early and was in intensive care for weeks - he is 10 weeks old now.
He's home now and everything should be fine but I can hardly leave the village I live in, am scared of EVERYTHING, the weather, the dark, thinking the world is going to end.
I have seeked help and my GP prescribed me tablets but I can't take them as I'm scared of the side effects. I've bought myself some stressless tablets but can't take them either - i feel stupid and pathetic and i want the horrible feelings to end. Every day is tiring trying to stay positive.
I just don't know what to do.
Susie xx

[GFHarris]

Hi Susie,

Sounds like you've been through a lot of late! I'm very new here to and everyone has been very friendly. PM me if you want to chat... think positive and be strong, your baby is an amazing reason to get better xxx

[Noa]

Hi Susie and :welcome: .
Glad to hear your baby is home now and getting stronger. Do you have a boy or girl? What scares you about being outside and the dark? What sort of side affects do you feel could be linked to your medication? You have been through a very stressful time, with the pregnancy and the worry over your premature baby. Maybe some counselling would help if you don't like the idea of taking medication.

Maybe it is severe post natal depression?
Take care and keep posting, lots of people here to talk to x

[susieash]

Thank you for replying.
I have a gorgeous little boy.
I've never thought of severe post natal depression, I have a good relationship with my health visitor so I could ask her.
I'm scared of going outside of my village in the car or on public transport - I just feel I will freak out and not be able to cope, same with the dark really, also feel it's a fear of being out of control. If that makes any sense?
I feel awful silly things about tablets eg I'll swallow the tablet and somehow it will make me stop breathing??? or again I'll feel out of control.
The most annoying thing is I'm having all these negative, panicky thoughts and feelings but I know they are stupid/irrational but it doesn't seem to stop them.
xx

[Noa]

Are the panicky thoughts related to your son at all? My friend who has a little boy (now 15 months) was very much like that when he was born. She wouldnt go out the house through fear of her son falling out of the buggy or someone trying to snatch him and her being helpless to stop him.
I have two boys myself and remember when my first son was born I felt really overwhelmed by the responsibility. Didnt go out on my own with him incase something happened to him. Luckily nothing came of it and overcame it.
My friend on the other hand is still on medication now as her anxiety got worse, but she does say that the med she is on definately helps.
Probably not much help Hun but might be an idea to talk to your health visitor about it if you get on well with her. Don't leave it incase it gets worse, tackle the problem now.xx

[kittykat]

Hi there and :welcome: to the site, a lot of good advice and support here and i hope things get better soon for you , take care xx

[emma30982]

welcome to this site you find it really helps congratulations on the baby!