RMcC
26-03-09, 22:18
Hi everyone,
First off, I'm very glad to find this site, it is conforting to know I'm not alone. Second, apologies if I've put this post in the wrong place but I have so much going on in my head I didn't know where to post!
I'm 25 years old. My problems have been caused by work-the boss not giving a stuff about the mess the place is in and me trying my best to try and do everything that needs doing so the patients in the hospital don't suffer (I'm a medical engineer.) I began to get nrvous going into work in the mornings, being sick, bowel issues and the odd full-blown panic attack. But mainly just the feeling that I can't cope & if anyone asks me to do something I will scream and/or run away. Some of my colleagues have been great but the boss just doesn't gt it.
With hindsight, these problems have been building for a while but only in the last 2 months have they got really bad. I went to my GP and she gave me some Citalopram, then changed to Fluanxol when Citalopram made me sick for weeks. But although the drugs are settling my stomach symptoms, etc I have been getting the racing thoughts on them & they are not helping the awful low depressive feeling & the feeling that I want to burst into tears for no reason. I've been signed off for 2 weeks (anxiety 7 stree on the certificate) and am halfway through this, but am feeling no better-in fact, I guess I feel worse (apart from yesterday when I felt really good fo some reason - oddly when I was at Uni doing classes!!) I feel so low, like nothing matters and perversely am counting the days till I go back to work. What is wrong with me? Work caused my problems and yet I want to be there?! Is it just because I crave normality, or a distraction, or what? I'm scared to go back in case it makes me worse and also as my being off gives my colleagues ammunition to try and change the situation with the boss, but I'm scared that if I get signed off again then I'll go completely mad. Normally I'd love a break & time to do my MSc work, but I am hating being off & Uni (or anything else really) just doesn't seem to matter most days. I'm worried about talking to anyone (GP, work colleagues, family, friends) about this in case they get fed up with me or they think I'm mad. I really need some relief from this - I've stopped the Fluanxol as they were making the racing thoughts worse, should I call my GP and get something else or will all the drugs do that? I can't focus on anything except how I'm feeling - I can pretty much use the 'brain part' on the 'symptoms' page as a checklist.
Please someone help - it feels like things will never be the same again....
First off, I'm very glad to find this site, it is conforting to know I'm not alone. Second, apologies if I've put this post in the wrong place but I have so much going on in my head I didn't know where to post!
I'm 25 years old. My problems have been caused by work-the boss not giving a stuff about the mess the place is in and me trying my best to try and do everything that needs doing so the patients in the hospital don't suffer (I'm a medical engineer.) I began to get nrvous going into work in the mornings, being sick, bowel issues and the odd full-blown panic attack. But mainly just the feeling that I can't cope & if anyone asks me to do something I will scream and/or run away. Some of my colleagues have been great but the boss just doesn't gt it.
With hindsight, these problems have been building for a while but only in the last 2 months have they got really bad. I went to my GP and she gave me some Citalopram, then changed to Fluanxol when Citalopram made me sick for weeks. But although the drugs are settling my stomach symptoms, etc I have been getting the racing thoughts on them & they are not helping the awful low depressive feeling & the feeling that I want to burst into tears for no reason. I've been signed off for 2 weeks (anxiety 7 stree on the certificate) and am halfway through this, but am feeling no better-in fact, I guess I feel worse (apart from yesterday when I felt really good fo some reason - oddly when I was at Uni doing classes!!) I feel so low, like nothing matters and perversely am counting the days till I go back to work. What is wrong with me? Work caused my problems and yet I want to be there?! Is it just because I crave normality, or a distraction, or what? I'm scared to go back in case it makes me worse and also as my being off gives my colleagues ammunition to try and change the situation with the boss, but I'm scared that if I get signed off again then I'll go completely mad. Normally I'd love a break & time to do my MSc work, but I am hating being off & Uni (or anything else really) just doesn't seem to matter most days. I'm worried about talking to anyone (GP, work colleagues, family, friends) about this in case they get fed up with me or they think I'm mad. I really need some relief from this - I've stopped the Fluanxol as they were making the racing thoughts worse, should I call my GP and get something else or will all the drugs do that? I can't focus on anything except how I'm feeling - I can pretty much use the 'brain part' on the 'symptoms' page as a checklist.
Please someone help - it feels like things will never be the same again....