lostdaydreaming
27-03-09, 17:58
hello everyone i found this forum when i was having a panic attack and feeling very surreal, and read some of the other post and decided to join.
my name is mandy, im 25(will be 26 on april.6). i have had anxiety my whole life i think, but the panic and agoraphobia started after i had my son when i was about 19 years old. at first i thought it was just hormones but then i had to move back in with my mom(me and my bf had broken up), and when she would leave and i would have to be alone i would get this fear i felt like i was going crazy and i would cry,throw up and beg her not to leave and when she would have to i would get throw up,pace the house,and go nuts until she came home or a friend would come over, or i could zone out watching tv. my doctor the told me i had panic/agoraphobia and started me on .25mgs of xanax,then a year later it was 1mg, 4xs a day and now i take 2mgs, 4xs a day. i am pretty much house bound and still hate to be alone. i do the best i can a friend takes me son who is now 8 to and from school and on good days i go just outside with him. i do get out some days i stay very close to my home but i go get my nails done and little things when im having a good day. i talked to my doctor about not being on any meds because i dont like taking them and he wants me to work out for atleast an hour a day. i have tried a few self help programs, but i still have panic attacks. some come out of the blue when im home i get ick,shake,feel like im goingto go crazy. i have never really feared dying just going crazy. i read that schizophina starts in women at 25-30 and have been obessing and very scared that i will become schizophic, even though noone in my family has ever had it. and even my doctor says i wont get it.
i try to fill my days i watch movies,play video games,and world of warcraft to try and just keep my mind busy.
i live ina townhouse a few blocks from my moms, i have been here 3 years in april, but i still get the urge to go back to my moms thats the only place i feel totaly safe. right now im hoping to buy a house that is 8 down from hers. i dont really know what else to say. im from the states. and well i am very very happy i found this forum. i feel so alone sometimes.
my name is mandy, im 25(will be 26 on april.6). i have had anxiety my whole life i think, but the panic and agoraphobia started after i had my son when i was about 19 years old. at first i thought it was just hormones but then i had to move back in with my mom(me and my bf had broken up), and when she would leave and i would have to be alone i would get this fear i felt like i was going crazy and i would cry,throw up and beg her not to leave and when she would have to i would get throw up,pace the house,and go nuts until she came home or a friend would come over, or i could zone out watching tv. my doctor the told me i had panic/agoraphobia and started me on .25mgs of xanax,then a year later it was 1mg, 4xs a day and now i take 2mgs, 4xs a day. i am pretty much house bound and still hate to be alone. i do the best i can a friend takes me son who is now 8 to and from school and on good days i go just outside with him. i do get out some days i stay very close to my home but i go get my nails done and little things when im having a good day. i talked to my doctor about not being on any meds because i dont like taking them and he wants me to work out for atleast an hour a day. i have tried a few self help programs, but i still have panic attacks. some come out of the blue when im home i get ick,shake,feel like im goingto go crazy. i have never really feared dying just going crazy. i read that schizophina starts in women at 25-30 and have been obessing and very scared that i will become schizophic, even though noone in my family has ever had it. and even my doctor says i wont get it.
i try to fill my days i watch movies,play video games,and world of warcraft to try and just keep my mind busy.
i live ina townhouse a few blocks from my moms, i have been here 3 years in april, but i still get the urge to go back to my moms thats the only place i feel totaly safe. right now im hoping to buy a house that is 8 down from hers. i dont really know what else to say. im from the states. and well i am very very happy i found this forum. i feel so alone sometimes.