constant anxiety.

[linesman]

Recently i have been suffering from constant anxiety, particularly panic attacks.

Todayi should have been going on a snowboarding holdiay with my mates, we were driving and the thought of a 14 hr drive has been freaking me out for weeks. In the end when my friends came to pick me up, i just didnt go, i couldnt do it.... I'm so so down about it and feel like a complete failure. All these things were going through my head.

- scared of the ski resort being 1800 metres and the effects on my body, particularly my heart and palpitations i've been getting.
- scared of the drive,
- scared of the eurotunnel,
- scared of the ski lifts in case they were stuck,
- scared of being up a mountain and not being able to get down,
- scared of something happening to me and being in a french hospital where noone speaks english
- scared of the drive home

I'm turning agrophobic, i'm even struggling to drive to work every day as it involves the m25 every morning...

This illness is destroying my life and for years i've been unable to go on holidays or anywhere that makes me feel uncomfortable.. :weep: i dont know what to do anymore, i've been like this for 15-20 years and i'm only 32...