scared around my dad

[mumof4]

hi

i know i havent posted in a long while i was doing well going out and feeling so much better but then it came back ill explian,

was feeling better for a few months moved house at christmas i feel pregant with my 4th baby was planned.

everything was fine untill after christmas i had a bleed and went up to the early pregancy unit and got a scan got a few then they told me the baby didnt make it was only 6 weeks along when it happend got told at 9 they offered me a d&c but refused hate hospitals and thought naturall with be okay.

anyway i got to 13 weeks when i miscarried wasnt very nice but wont say to much anyway i got over that then my dad.

my dad has been a big drinker since my mum died but still went to work but when i misscarried i didnt hear from him for a week then he called to say he was drinking 2 litres of vodka a day so my sister poured the vodka down the sink,

and i went and picked him up and brought him down here he wanted to call nhs 24 for help he told them he was pooing blck stools and they told me to take him straight to his doctor which i did,

inside the doctors he was very dizzy and the doctor checked him over and was admittting him to hospital so he told us to wait in the waiting room,

i had to carry my dad as he was so dizzy cause he was coming off the drink and hadnt eaten for a week, i let him sit down and i went outside for a fag.

then i turned round and my dad was fitting it was horriable i was the only one there the surgery was empty so i ran and shouted for the doctor who tried to bring him round but they couldnt and the amblance was on the way they came and managed to bring him round and took him to hospital i followd in my car.

he was admitted to hospital and they tested him said the blck poos where drink and let him out a few days later.

he went home and went straight back on the drink drinking the same amount as last time expect it lasted for 2 weeks untill he started getting chest pains and he called a ambalnce who took him to hospital again this time they checked everything and put a tube down his throat he has a few ulcers and a inflamed liver.

when he came out he came to stay with me for a weeks so he wouldnt drink and he didnt but now he is back home i think he is drinking agian not alot but a few.

the problem i have is i keep thinking ill fit i have no history and i dont drink but that day scared me i thought he was dead.

i have also been worrying about my health and i havent done that in years i keep thinking with every chest pain i get im dying even though i know its anxiety im also worried i have cervical cancer as i havent had a smear in 10 years have booked one though and i dont have any symtoms i just cant help worrying about it.

im worried that one day i will go up and find my dad dead with drink that last time the hospital told he would have been dead soon as he wasnt eating he couldnt pee and his eyesight went but it doesnt even scare him he went to see aw achol councller who told him he could drink a few but how cam they tell someone that who has a histrory of drinkingh loads even when it wasnt the vodka it was 6 litres of cider a night. now he thinks he is okay to drink a few aslong as its not vodka and cider i just dont get that.

sorry its such a long post just had to get it off my chest.

[Trixie]

I know this sounds mean but I think you need to concentrate on your own health and your children. Your dad has an illness and he cannot over come it. This illness is taking it's toll and there is nothing you can do about it. The doctor should find support for you and your father what ever that may be perhaps you could ask for a social worker.

Good luck:flowers:

[mumof4]

tks for ur reply he went to the doctor who says according to my dad he can drink although i do find it hard to believe my dad has a habbit of not telling us the truth.

i am starting to feel abit better i just worry about him he doesnt seem to think he has a problem and he can control it.

[Trixie]

tks for ur reply he went to the doctor who says according to my dad he can drink although i do find it hard to believe my dad has a habit of not telling us the truth.

i am starting to feel abit better i just worry about him he doesnt seem to think he has a problem and he can control it.


I nursed my father who had cancer fortunately he was a brilliant patient. He was a person who got on with everyone and everyone who new him liked him. It is hard not to worry I know but you have your own problems. How old is your father?

[finny12000]

Taylor the only way for your dad to go is abstinence and they probably told him to have a few to wean off alcohol so he would not fit again as stopping immediately can cause fits dts tremours ect.
Alcoholism is a curse and a selfish disease as drink is the only thing that matters and alcoholics are usually self absorbed in themselves and do not think of what there drinking does to family.

Have some tough words for your dad and tell him you will not be there
next time to pick up pieces as he knows hes a safety net if it all gets worse again.
In saying all this usually when we go to councelling we find theres loads underlying issues why we drink the way we do and we need to address these before weve a chance of stopping completley
I hit rock bottom before i stopped and i know its your dad and your worried
but you do have to start looking after you and you children so
have a word with him and ask if he will consider going to aa seeing his councillor and eventually stopping and let him have it both barrels as truth sometimes is a bitter pill to swallow.
wouldnt it be better supporting your dad to stop drinking rather than supporting him in drink
good luck be strong and never neglect yourself taylor.x

[Pink Panic]

Hi Taylor,

Great advice from Finny and Trixie that I can't really add to apart from to say that you need to take care of you and your family hun. :hugs:

There's no doubt that your Dad needs help and from what you have said I'd say it's got to be professional help but the fact that he can't see he has a problem is going to be a major stumbling block. I'd ask his Doc for advice on ways you can help him but obviously due to confidentiality he wouldn't be able to discuss specifics but hopefully he will be able to point you in the right direction.

Take good care of yourself. :hugs:

[mumof4]

tks for ur replys my dad is 53 this year he is still young he went to a meeting with a counceller a acholic one he came back saying that the councller says he is not a alochic i dont c how that can be.

i know i have to let him get on with it and i told him next time he drinks like that im not going to put him up again he will be on his own.

but it is hard when its ur dad.


he also said something the other day to me which made me think he said he suffered with anxiety and he gets like a bubble in his chest and then gets very ahpavsive and the drink stopped it. thats why he drinks so much but i think there is more to it when my mum was alive she died 5 years ago he is a taxi driver and he would have a few beers in the car before he went home and my mum never knew about that.

he hid the drink from here so i dont think the anxiety he has caused this.