lotte_82
30-03-09, 09:32
Hi my name is Charlotte and I am 27.
I have always had issue's with food but never really confirmed in my own mind that I had an ED (but I now know otherwise) to be honest I am not really sure when the Depression or Anxiety really started...i think about 6 months ago it really kicked in, I went to the doctors and he had presicribed an AD which I took twice and then stopped howevver about 6 weeks ago I started feeling quite bad with chest pains and sickness and that was when the anxiety took a real hold....I am currently taking 10mg Cipralex along with Beta Blockers (proponal). Since the Anxiety kicked in I have lost over a stone in less than a month, at first I think this was down to the anxiety and being unable to eat however now i just cant eat, I am not sure if i am controlling this or if I am just not hungry, However I do know that it s part of my ED as if I do eat I was making myself sick after, until the throat infection and mouth ulcers started.
Now though I know I am getting worse as I have started using Laxatives, I know this is really bad for me and every day I say this will be my last day on them....BUT I cant stop....if I eat the guilt is so bad I just have to take the laxatives, My doctor is not aware that i take these laxatives and neither is anyone else.
I dont sleep well, even with the tablets and I have been signed off work for the last 4 weeks....not sure whre to go to next or what to do anymore....Sometimes I do wish that I was dead as it would make mylife, my husbands life and my little girls life easier. The only thing that keeps me here is knowing the pain that I will cause them initially. :weep: I do love them all so much
Anyway thanks for such a great Forum and hopefully I may start to accpt things :weep:
I also forgot to mention that I Hit myself...I know this is stupid but when I cant cope or get angry, or agitated I punch / slap my head really hard. Again the Dr nor my Hubby does not know this.
x
I have always had issue's with food but never really confirmed in my own mind that I had an ED (but I now know otherwise) to be honest I am not really sure when the Depression or Anxiety really started...i think about 6 months ago it really kicked in, I went to the doctors and he had presicribed an AD which I took twice and then stopped howevver about 6 weeks ago I started feeling quite bad with chest pains and sickness and that was when the anxiety took a real hold....I am currently taking 10mg Cipralex along with Beta Blockers (proponal). Since the Anxiety kicked in I have lost over a stone in less than a month, at first I think this was down to the anxiety and being unable to eat however now i just cant eat, I am not sure if i am controlling this or if I am just not hungry, However I do know that it s part of my ED as if I do eat I was making myself sick after, until the throat infection and mouth ulcers started.
Now though I know I am getting worse as I have started using Laxatives, I know this is really bad for me and every day I say this will be my last day on them....BUT I cant stop....if I eat the guilt is so bad I just have to take the laxatives, My doctor is not aware that i take these laxatives and neither is anyone else.
I dont sleep well, even with the tablets and I have been signed off work for the last 4 weeks....not sure whre to go to next or what to do anymore....Sometimes I do wish that I was dead as it would make mylife, my husbands life and my little girls life easier. The only thing that keeps me here is knowing the pain that I will cause them initially. :weep: I do love them all so much
Anyway thanks for such a great Forum and hopefully I may start to accpt things :weep:
I also forgot to mention that I Hit myself...I know this is stupid but when I cant cope or get angry, or agitated I punch / slap my head really hard. Again the Dr nor my Hubby does not know this.
x