View Full Version : a bit of everything....
im feeling so low and scared at the moment.....i seem to be suffering from a lot of different anxieties...health anxiety, social anxiety, ocd panicking and constantly worrying about everything. Ive suffered since a very young age and im 27 now will it ever ease up? i went through a period of feeling a lot better 2months ago and felt like that for a month, i started a new job(i cant hold a job down as my anxiety always gets the better of me and I end up quitting!). It seems that once I get famalier with a job the symptons raise there ugly head again...in work the other day I was feeling low anyway and plus it was raining and gloomy outside but i had this sudden rush of panic and like i was going to collapse at the time i was talking to somebody it scared the hell out of me, i just feel ill everyday aswell I get aches and pains everywhere, headaches, neck pains chest pains feeling sick and drained
Hi,
Its good and encouraging that you had a period of being much better. It shows it is possible.
It is stressful starting a new job and are concentrating. As we know, anxiety kicks in when you have less to concentrate on which is why it happens when the job is more familiar.
Have you had any CBT therapy ?
When you're suffering from GAD it will seem like you have a host of other Labels too but often its just one leading into another and when the main one resolve the rest fade too so don't be in rush to add diagnoses on.
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
What you are going through is very normal. A new job is very scary with or without anxiety. As Meg says, I think CBT would really help. Also, make friends with someone at work, that way you can confide in that person and feel more comfortable..:D
"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal
Meg, thank you for your reply i just feel so drained and tired of fighting this I try my best to be positive and I consider myself to be outgoing but inside I am scared to death and feel like Ive just got no energy I dont want to bother my boyfriend again with my problems, he thinks im doing alot better and I'll feel like a let down if I tell him im going backwards instead of forwards, i have had about 5 sessions of CBT it was very good but it has had to be put on hold because of money problems I had to pay £40 each time I just feel very alone and cant speak to anyone about how I feel
Ok
If you want to, you can tell him you're having a blip which is completely true and also normal . The road to recovery is a bit potholy and you will stumble occassionally. I've not known anyone not to have blips.
Can you build on the CBT yourself with books and challenges and keep it going. You can always start a thread here about every single step you take. Its great that you thought it was good as that means you responded to it and therefore can again even self led
There are always people here who are happy to talk regularly or occasionally.
Its not always about being positive about everything, although that does help- because sometimes its just too hard to do that, but keeping rational and sensible actually helps more practically and having optimism for the future if not the present.
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
HI
I've had so much of "you are looking so much better and doing so well" while i felt as bad inside as ever - I wrote a poem to myself expressing my frustration and saying what a bad day meant for me - i will probably never show it to family and friends as it would distress them so much as to how low things have been but i re read it now and then to reassure myself that i am no that low anymore - it was great to write my frustrations down - probably better than telling someone at the time
the other thing to remember is that others say you are doing well because externally it looks like it - at times i have had only this external postiveness to go on but have learnt to accept it when i couldn't find the positive myself
My psycologist ( yes they are ****** expensive - try some self help books on CBT) was getting me to do the least horrible distraction i could find when everythoing was bad - going out to a tai chi class at the time didn't make feel better but it was less horrible than lying locked to my sofa - I now enjoy tai chi - sometimes it feels nothing will help so having a basic plan of things that make me feel a little less bad such moved me up to finding later that they could make me feel good
my friends used to say "baby steps" when i was frantic i wasn't forging ahead - i now take "gentle strides" - and don't be scared of a low after a good spell - they seem so much worse but in reality probably are never as low as i was but are unfortunately part of the rock road up
with you all the way - jos
meg-sometimes I feel so lonely with this because I feel I have nobody to talk to about it but on the same hand I find it extremley hard to express my feelings, i do have my cbt work book that I will plod on with, feeling a bit better now I had a good cry before and did some research on the internet about GAD, at the moment Im finding it very hard to concentrate on things my head just feels full and fuzzy....
Jos- thank you for your reply its always nice to know that other people have experienced the same as you, these low points are the road to recovery arent they because Ive had them in the past and then had spells where i can say to myself to hell with you mr anxiety im goin to get on and your not going to keep me back, I think I will start writing down my feelings again I used to keep a thought diary everyday and it does give your brain a much needed rest
i just want to off load a bit on here and try and understand and tell you my story ...Im trying to think where all this started and the progression of it I can remember when younger feeling sick and being scared, i remember in primary school (yes it does go back that far!) somebody was sick behind me and it freaked me out, then in secondary school when it was quiet in a lesson I had a sudden feeling of I may be sick, but I didnt actually vomit, from then on in lessons and assemblys (they were the worst) I felt like I would throw up I had to constantly back swallow and cause a distraction by moving around or if somebody else made a noise it gave me some relief...I then spent a year abroad(on my own) in a foreign school I was meant to go to presentations and attend classes but half the time I would spend time on my own in libraries or just walking around...I then came back home and went to college and worked in a large shop and I remember feeling one day whilst talking to somebody very light headed and like I may pass out (never did) this gradually got worse and would feel some relief if I went up to the warehouse or backstage.....I then worked in other shops and week by week that dizzy feeling got worse....I now get this everyday all day and everywhere I go I dont get alot of relief from it, the worst now is I worry whilst out that I may bump in2 somebody I know and have to talk whilst feeling dizzy, months ago my life was spent in my baseball cap (for some reason it used to make me feel that little bit stronger) I have also been bullied from a young age I was very thin and tall and used to get picked on about that, whilst others used to tell me I was very pretty and even to this day I can recieve nasty comments and then extremley good ones so when I go out I feel like everybody stares at me, and now sometimes I feel like I dont know how to act as in what to do with my hands how to react to a question and so on any comments much appreciated.......
I was bullied at school too, I think when your confidence reaches a certain low, usually sub concious actions suddenly come into the forefront and you become very self aware. I remember being 14 and being in class and being very aware of the way in which i was sat, and didn't really know how i should be sitting. At uni, I also remember being in town in a record shop and almost being stuck to the spot, very aware of my legs and almost having to think about walking.
kid a, thank you for posting your reply, its such a very strange feeling isnt it, but like you say you become very self aware and I think that is my problem I am constantly worried about peoples opinions of me and I am constantly thinking people are looking at me my self esteem has hit rock bottom, I have got myself into alot of debt aswell as I constantly want to buy the latest trends and get my hair done to be honest I think I obbsess about my appearence I am not vain in the slightest far from it I think in a way I wish I was somebody else.....I always worry that I will say the wrong thing and not act the way other people do...I think it is people I am scared of, put me in an empty room at work the tension rises, put me on an empty road I would feel more at ease......I have alot of friends but inside I feel alone....
That could be a page from my diary.
I think it’s giving away power to other people. If you’re happy with yourself, then it doesn’t matter what other people think. I had to accept that not everyone will like me, some will dislike me. That was a hard thing for me to do. I still obsess about my looks and will often get paranoid but I try to change my opinion about myself.
I know it's difficult, feels almost impossible to do that when the opinion you hold about yourself has been shaped by other people's negative comments.
http://front.csulb.edu/tstevens/h61asses.htm
Hi Kirgray
I could identify with the being bullied - when I was little I was a skinny kid and it was fashionable for girls hair to be cut short (got the photos to prove it). This made me look like a little lad though, which I absolutely hated as I've always been such a girly girl (although did a fair bit of falling out of trees in my time too lol).
I think this sort of start means you begin with low esteem at an early age and then really have to work on it thereafter. I loved the last year at secondary school cos I suddenly shot up in height, got my curves etc etc and this improvement in my appearence brought about a major change to my confidence levels from which I've never looked back.
The anxiety I have today is really about being scared stiff of the physical symptoms of anxiety and the vicious circle this is imposing - which in turn dips your confidence.
I've just put my name down on the NOPANIC waiting list for the cbt telephone course (you can link to it from on here) you just have to pay £10 to join thats all. That maybe of some interest to you as an affordable option????
Chat soon
Love Piglet:)
Hi Labordette,
I don't think all that is at all odd. I had a friend once who always backed out of the bedroom so her boyfriend would'nt see her bottom and another one who never lets her fella see her without make-up.
I have a few of my own too, lol.
Love Piglet:)
Labordette,
Is it a trust thing do you think???
A lot of things destroy relationships and I expect a great many are destroyed by an incompatability of needs etc!! I suppose it comes down to in the end how much both people want to work at the relationship and how much they both think its worth it!!
Again I have friends who put up with things in partners I know I would have trouble with and vice versa (I don't mean violence or anything here, I mean little quirks).
I expect if everything else is working well within that relationship it would bode well for the understanding of certain problem areas.
Although hey what would I know, I'm divorced, so hardly an advert for relationship advice. Lol.
Love Piglet
Sorry Kirgray hun - how you feeling today.
Love Piglet
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