Really worried and stressed

[phil06]

I am really worried and stressed and fearing I have manic depression as I have been going on a bit with work/life stress and finding a new g.f. I just feel so pressured to meeting somebody and my work said today that 20 is not that young anymore and most people have made choices younger.

I have had trouble sleeping the last few nights. I really do feel I am edging closer to going mad every time the stress gets to much.

I am fed up with life stress + anxiety/stress and OCD symptoms. When I worry about something it feels like the worry is true.

I failed two exams at work not sure why just couldn't concentrate enough and It could be anxiety sometimes my memory blanks and my head was all over the place a few nights back. I could get done out a job over it and was once before made unemployed due to failing a test. So I am really scared and I am looking for another job as I went part time and want a change.

I feel at 20 I am old I have just started driving but everybody seems to do stuff younger and I have had about 10 jobs, two failed relationships and three failed college attempts so it worries me. I worry what people think of me.

Right now I am anxious and feel like nothing feels right, memory blanks worry me, worry the longer the anxiety the worse it will get, fears of manic depression, HOCD, fears of little things, future, money. Some days I have good positive ones then others the same problems resurface. I never seem to get very far and it's always somebody giving me hassle whether it be a friend, work or family.

Going part time was my first positive change, found added stress with less money though, hard to find another job. Longer time around family so more stress. Driving was another step I took which has helped as atleast things can be positive for a one hour lesson. I worked it out a new full time job and g.f would make me happier however it's not that easy. I had that a few years back, lost it but have some good points I never had then.

I just want to get to a steady situation, however people make it hard, and life's hard and anxiety makes it worse. Just not sure what to do now my head is muffled and my anxiety is fulled very bad. :blush: :lac:

[PoppyC]

Hi Phil! :)
20 is not old!!!! If 20 is old then I must be really ancient - which I am not! :unsure:
Whoever told you at work that 20 is not young anymore must either be very young - 5 years old? or was trying to wind you up
You sound very down. Have you spoken to your gp about how you feel? Do you take any medication?
Ease up on yourself a little - stop placing so many demands on yourself - it will do nothing apart from stress you out and make your anxiety worse.
Ok so you want a girlfriend, but that will happen when its meant to. You could get a girlfriend and it may go horribly wrong...other people are not the answer to our happiness - ok they do contribute, but they are just part of it.
Your post is so negative...its full of I am fed up, I have failed, I never seem to get very far....You need to stop being so hard on yourself. Start being kind to yourself. Start replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. Think of your strengths not what you perceive as your weaknesses...ok so you may not have achieved this or that, but you are very young and you have so many years in front of you to achieve what you want. At my age, there are things I wanted to achieve and do in the past but never did, but you realise as you get older, life does not always map out like we want it to, sometimes no matter how hard we try. You just accept it, realise its not so important, and look at what you have achieved. I wanted to be an actress as I was great at drama but and also I loved dancing and was a good dancer but I turned out to be anything but! I could still get into that now if I wanted to even at my age, but it doesnt bother me so much. I have done other things - not planned - that bought me a lot of fulfillment in life. I dont beat myself up over it. Dont try planning too much in life because you can be guaranteed life does not go to plan.Only age will teach you that. Enjoy what you have, find your strengths, take each day as it comes and all those old cliches!
Maybe you will become a lot happier in your next job?
I get a lot of memory blanks with anxiety - its a very common symptom of anxiety.
Stop worrying about what people think of you - I used to do this a lot and it really stressed me out - what does it matter what people think? Let them think what they want to - it does not matter - dont let it affect you, rise above it. You are placing too many high demands on yourself, being too harsh on yourself, and this is fuelling your anxiety. I was like how you are for a long time and ended up having a breakdown. One of the good things that came out of that horrific experience is that I now know what is important and not in life. Please just ease up on yourself, start thinking positively (I know this is easier said than done but try) and learn how to relax and enjoy life. You are very young and you have a lot of old years ahead of you, so please enjoy the young part of your life, whilst you have it. Go to your gp and tell him how you are feeling.
He will be able to help you. I hope you are feeling a lot more positive and happier soon!

[bishops]

20 IS NOT OLD you got loads of time to find the right person.I did not got married tilli was 29 and we had kids in our 3os. Dont be hard on yourself, enjoy the good and bad relationships YOU will have, dont worry about what others do you just put yourself first

[phil06]

Thanks I have alot of positives which I never had when I was in a relationship and a job I liked two years back but I just feel sad when I am single where as I feel happier with somebody. I feel more excluded from relationships as I've not even reached the dating stage in a few months. I have tried everything and realised it refuses to happen.

It was actually my boss who says 20 is not that young and you need to map your life out and think career. If anything the chat with the boss who is insisting on further training is just spurred me on to find a new job totally. I wanted to keep the job part time but I feel they keep adding stress and I said to them I am stressed.

I am sure it's work that stresses me most as I come in some days fine but most the chances are I get worked up about the hassle I get from staff or the job in general. I have applied to a few jobs but had a few letters saying I never got it and that's got my confidence in the same way as relationships..

Just feel like giving up really...I'd only need one job, one woman but when you apply or go on 20 dates you soon realise it can be hard. I am learning to drive and my boss at work questioned that money wise on part time but for me it's a positive but people will always judge me.

[doomey]

I agree 20 is not old, some people do not find the right person for them until they are much older.

Look at it the other way, you could meet someone, and get trapped in a relationship that you do not want to be in, that is far worse than not meeting the right person.

Love often comes when your not looking for it..

I personally love KFC chicken.

[PoppyC]

KFC chicken??? lol :shrug::roflmao:

[phil06]

My feelings have been all over the place lately and just feel edgy and like having a go at people recently.

I just feel under pressure the slightest thing sets me off. I end up taking my moods out on people and I now fear I am going crazy.

I just feel I'm never happy if it's not one thing it's another and another. I think I will drive everybody away. I keep getting horrible thoughts too which never helps. Normal situations like work, dating, friendships just get me down everybody seems to be having a go and it's been that way for months. I just can't seem to handle it emotionally just feel a wreck right now and all weak.

Is it possible anxiety can make you stressed all the time? :shrug:

[phil06]

My stress has since returned..

I'm over run with headaches, head pressure, pains..negative awful thoughts...twisted thoughts and anger..I'm worried the stress will cause some health issue.

I mean everybody is annoying me right now as nothing is going my way or working out..

How can I relax and de-stress? Feel my head is going to explode..:ohmy::blush:

[nomorepanic]

read the website page on the left and start back at basics - the first steps post.

only you can change your life and make things better

take up exercise and relaxation as well