Monophobia

[gemzstar]

HI

I am 24 and suffer with monophobia, i have done for 12 years as my mum and dad worked so much i got left alone after school till 6,7,8pm at night. since having children i have been getting better coping 4 their sake but every now and the i have lapses. i have coping mechanisms i can cope if i can hear people talking to me like on the phone (HUGE PHONE BILLS) i sleep with the tv on i hate the silence at night. :whistles:

i work and even though i can cope with being out the house on my own i still have to make regular and frequent contact with my safe person (MY FIANCEE JON) which sometimes gets a little much for him but he copes well.:yahoo:

i have never had help from therapy or anything i dont really wanna dig up all my past dont no if it would be better or worse to remember it all.:ohmy:

i am struggling as i really dont want to effect my kids with my fears or the outcome of my sometimes irrational behaviour.:wacko:

please post any threads with any adviceon voping techniques.


gemma xx:yesyes:

[NoPoet]

Hi, for a start you should probably start shopping around with your phone service as you can probably get a decent deal offering free evening and weekend calls! Use a landline rather than a mobile as well. Should save you a few quid!

Keeping the TV or radio on at night is an excellent idea. What you need to do is treat yourself so that you are relaxed and comfortable whenever you're on your own. If you've got an hour spare, sit with a comedy DVD and watch a couple of episodes of something that is fun and harmless like Desmond's or Only Fools and Horses and have a little bit of your favourite food (don't pig out).

You could try keeping fit as well. Buy a stepping machine or a small treadmill or something and work out on that. Burns calories, improves fitness, relieves stress, releases feelgood endorphins in the brain and generally makes you a better person.

I would strongly encourage you not to bottle things up unless the benefits of doing so genuinely outweigh the benefits of letting them go. I'd say in most cases it is better to find out WHY you feel the way you do as that way you stand a good chance of coming to terms with it and moving on.

[PUGLETMUM]

:hugs: hi, i have suffered with monophobia also - i would say you are doing a fantastic job already with dealing with your issues and without sounding patronising, you prob lack a bit of confidence because of sufferign monophobia, but if you compare yourself to others ina similar position (myself included) you woudl see that you are very strong and are coping as good as anybody else even if you do suffer a phobia - however most ppl wnat to be rid of a phobia - thye dont want to carry it around all their lives so they usually try to get soem help with how to do this - you could jsut start o experiment yourself with dropping some of your coping mechanisms, but laways know that you have ppl around if you need them - they arent going to disappear jsut becasue you stop checking with them. and if you do exposure and you succeed you feel a whole lot better in yourself! beleive me - i odnt have any advice to give you how to cope, becasue ultimately i feel its better for us to try to free ouselves of these phobias - no matter how strong or ingrained they are! keep going with your life and keep positive about yourself eventually you will work through your difficuties - and you dont have to understnad why you are the way you are to move forward and get better - there is no evidence to indicate that understanding why you got how you did can help - the key is in working towards freedom from the behaviour. you can go to a site called nopanic ( a charity based in telford, shropshire) and you can get a written recovery programme that will give you a better idea of how to rid yourself of the phobia - all the best, emma:)