anxious thoughts even though no panic attacks

[removed]

Hi this is my first time on this forum. I have suffered with terrible anxiety from childhood. 10 years ago I tried a hypnosis tape which caused me to have total depersonalisation. This resulted in a complete breakdown . I have battled to overcome all my fears and now live a completely normal life, without panic attacks. I have taught myself to cope in every situation and things I once feared no longer scare me. However I suffer still with terrible anxious thoughts. They are hard to put into words. they are really to do with my sense of self which is only partially there, but is coming back. i think i am afraid of myself and what my brain is capable of. Some days I feel as though my brain will explode with all the fear and yet I have taught myself so well that i just carry on as normal. I think I must sound barking mad but I know I am not. Had loads of therapy in the past and told it is just anxiety. Dont know how to control this one! What can I do?

[seh1980]

hi Janet,

Welcome aboard!! :)

You seem to have come so far so a big well done to you. It seems like you are still making progress so chances are the unwanted thoughts will slowly disappear just like the full-blown panic attacks did.

Hope we can offer you some good support.

Sarah :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

[nomorepanic]

Hi janet

Just wanted to welcome you aboard the forum.

Good to have you here.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

[Karen]

Hi Janet

Welcome to the forum.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[sadie]

Hi Janet,

I totally understand how you are feeling as I too suffer from the constant worrying thoughts everyday and sometimes I think I will lose it or my brain just cant cope with all this information. Obviously nothing does happen and I eventually calm down and put things into some form of perspective....

I am at a lost on how to stop the thoughts... I think the only way is to accept them as they are.. just anxious thoughts caused by habitual negative thinking and the only real way is to change them into positive ones until you no longer have any more anxious ones....

You have cope so well up until now and have managed to get on with life despite these thoughts... well done.

If anyone else has any better solutions then please let us know.

sadie

[removed]

Hi sadie
Thanks for your message. The problem iI have is that I have had every fear you can think of-vomiting, agoraohobia, death, going mad, fainting etc- and through sheer determination, got rid of all of them. The problem is that my brain, for some reason wants to be anxious, and i cant even put into words the weird and wonderful thoughts I concoct sometimes to frighten myself with. I guess put like that it is quite amusing and I should lighten up. But fear is fear isnt it, and that feeling is horrible even if logically you know that nothing bad is going to happen. Actually I always think"this is it- I'm not going to get over this one"-and then somehow I do!

[Meg]

Janet

A few CBT sessions may really help you.
I know you said you have had therapy but have you had good CBT?


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[removed]

hello Meg
Absolutely infinite-that is the problem. When i depersonalised 10 years ago I became an empty shell-could not remember who "Jan" was-my sense of self was completely wiped out. It has been such a lonely journey, finding it again It's like a huge jigsaw and every time a bit more comes back it is very scary, because the whole thing was about denial of myself as a person. As another part of the puzzle falls into place, I realize how wrong my thoughts have been and it is extemely painful. I hope what i am saying makes sense. I have never known anyone else to lose their"self" in that way. It is like amnesia but you don't forget the past. It's just like you have detached completely from who you are. I know lots of people get depersonalization, but this was total and went on for years and to a degree is still going on, although I am much better.
Janet c