anxious around my boyfriend, help!

[dange]

hi all,

I suffer from ocd which makes me want to hurt myself which brings out bad anxiety.

but i've never had it this bad before. my ocd is trying to make me say things to my boyfriend that will ruin our 6 year long relationship and i'm terrified of being around him. i'm staying with my parents at the moment, but he's picking me up to take me home tonight and i dont know how i'm going to cope. My doc has given me a weeks worth of diazapam which is working but im scared of coming off them cos the first thing that i do in the morning when i wake up is panic.

i love him to bits and am scared of losing him, my house, everything which is making the anxiety worse.

can anyone help me to calm down?
thanks a lot xxx

[goingmadder]

Hi Dange..

First and Foremost... BREATHE... Take a deep breath and then release it...

I'm sorry you're going through this.

Does your boy friend know whats going on? Is he aware of your OCD. If not then now might be the time to sit him down and explain it.

If he does know then perhaps you're not giving him enough credit. If he loves you and is understanding then sit him down and explain your more recent emotions.. If you're worried you'll spurt something out then perhaps talking to him with your mum present or a close friend.

As for the anxiety/ocd itself, try to find a distraction to the thoughts, or even grab a note book and keep it handy and when you feel like you want to say horrible things to your partner, write them down exactly as they pop in your head, let it all out in the note book .. I think that once you've expressed it that way you'll have released it in a safe manner... You can then take the pages of negative thoughts and either tear them up or place them in a metal bin and burn them (SAFETY FIRST) as a symbolic gesture to yourself.

As for the meds, if the doctor thinks you need them and you are happy taking them then do so, don't look ahead to what may or may not happen if / when you come off them. Thats not today and today is the only thing we should be concerned with. Take each day one at a time. In fact take each moment one at a time.

It will pass.

PM me anytime you like.

Take care and i hope some of this is helpful to you

big hug!
X:hugs:

[dange]

thanks a lot for your reply.

my boyfriend does know about my ocd and hes very understanding, its just what i could tell him could tear us apart. i think i'll have a talk to him tonight with my mum around.

i do like the idea of writing down my thoughts, that might be a huge relief to me.

I'll also go back to my doctor and see if he can extend my meds until i'm feeling a bit better, though i know they are weary about diazepam because its addictive.

Thanks a lot, i'll message you in the future if thats ok?
Dange:yesyes:

[goingmadder]

PM Anytime hun,

When you talk to the doc ask about other meds they could give you that will be just as hlepful but not adictive...

I hope your chat goes well later.

Big hugs!
X