Anxiety just getting worse and more consuming

[happyone]

I can't believe I am sitting writing this! I know that my anxiety can get better and I know that avoidance is not a great solution to the problem in the long run but I am getting in a rut here.

I just seem to have had one stressful event after stressful event over the past few months. They might not sound much to say (work, occupational health and benefits meetings) but they have proved extremely anxiety producing for me.

I spend so much time thinking and worrying about these events and I seem unable to switch off. Life has just become one big ball of anxiety. I am now finding myself in the situation where I am retreating into the safety of my own home and own company more and more. All the things that were beginning to become a problem for me 2-3 years ago are becoming so again. I am finding shopping, socialising, going outside, having callers to the house difficult.....the list goes on!

I am unsure what to do. I have had CBT, I have had anxiety management classes, I practise meditation and relaxation exercises most days, I am on medication for depression and anxiety,amongst other mh problems, I see a psychiatrist regularly and he knows about my anxiety and is trying to help me tackle it from a medical point of view. I see a cpn for support and she tries to get me out but I have even stopped going to the classes she has organised for me!

I need to tackle this but I just can't at the moment with all my other stressors that I have going on. I am scared I am retreating into a box with a door that won't let me out and that I will never become ready again.

Happyone

[lotte_82]

Hi Happyone,

I can empathise with you on this one (however Im only in the early stages of medication - 5 weeks).......

I am similar the more I get anxious the less i do, like you...shopping, socialising, people calling round to my house (espically if im unaware), I have even stopped answering the phone, and I like the curtains to be shut so no one can see in.

I cant really advise what to do...i dont feel i have enough experience in this BUT i just wanted you to know that you are not on your own

Lotte
x

[Piglet]

I understand all of that totally.:hugs:

It's understandable really isn't it, when doing all the above makes you feel so anxious it's normal to not want to do it again ... who would.

HOWEVER (you knew there would be a but or a however) we both know that while it helps short term it does nothing to help long term. I tend to take the view that when my anxiety is at it's worst then yes I cut myself some slack and back off for a few days and go back to the baby steps plan.

I start with a little action plan of things that are acheivable, things that I do feel comfortable with (like going out for a walk in the dark) and then I build back up from that. This takes aslong as it takes, could be days, could be weeks, could be months.

The CBT lady says while yes we do have to push our boundaries the platform from which we start must be a comfortable one. So I started with a list of the things I am ok with (which was small) and I am working from there.

You know all this stuff yourself so I don't really need to remind you of it but I do need to remind you to be more generous to yourself. At the end of the night I have a little notebook and I list what I've done that day that counts as an achievement and this can be anything from how I've challenged my agoraphobia to just preparing the dinner (if you feel extra crap then preparing the dinner is an achievement).

You look after your children and husband and take care of the family home - so there are a million achievements right there!!

Just divide it all down hun and start again slowly. :yesyes:

Love Piglet :flowers:

[happyone]

Thanks Lotte and Piglet,

I too shut the curtains Lotte...or blinds in my case! Hubs gets really annoyed as it is the lighter nights and I just want to be shut away! I wish you luck Lotte and hope your meds or any other treatment you have.

Piglet...you know me too well!

I think I have just had a right old stinking 9 months of it. 4 hospital admissions, 3 work interviews, 2 occ health interviews, 1 benefits interview (coming up) .....and a partridge in a pear tree! I keep on hoping for a bit of respite and it isn't forthcoming. It is one thing after another after another. No sooner do I get my breath back then I seem to be knocked down again. I need a bit of recovery time but I am just not getting it. It just feels so much easier to retreat into ones shell and say "I am not coming out"

I know you are right Piglet hun about it not helping in the short term but I have no energy left for fighting it it any real way. So, I think I have to do what you say, and go back to baby steps. Today, I tidied up. First time in two weeks. I am pleased with that and while it is still manky (two weeks dust is a lotta dust:blush: .....I only quickly swept up!) it is something more than I have been doing.:)

To be fair to my CPN, she is not pushing me. She said herself that I had to feel comfortable about what I was doing and she was ok about me cancelling the classes. I thought she would pressurise me into going but she didn't. In fact, she cancelled them for me as I didn't even want to speak to anyone on the phone!

Thanks
Happyone
xx

[Cat80]

I know exactly how you are feeling. I've been in a constant state of anxiety since being diagnosed 2 years ago. Feel sick 24/7 because of my anxiety and it's stopped me going out so much. From the age of 16 to 23 I was agoraphobic and didn't leave the house at all. Now I'm 28 and only go out once or twice a week because going out just makes me too sick and anxious (and I have a major phobia of being sick). I'm almost 4 weeks into Fluoxetine and feel no better and am also on a 5 month waiting list for CBT (don't feel upto doing this but feel I have to). I've stopped going to counselling as after 18 months I was getting nowhere. I just feel like my life is stuck and I can't see a way of moving it forward, I turn 29 on the 19th and feel like my life is over before it's even started.

happyone, you sound so like me so are not alone at all, I know that doesn't help much with the anxiety but it may help knowing other people out there are going through the same thing

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Happyone,

I agree with what all the others have said and hope you feel better soon. Sometimes we do need to just make a list of 2 things we want to achieve that day such as bathing and getting the dishes done and strike that off the list and know that we have achieved something that day. Running a household is very difficult so don't sell yourself short!

One thing I think I remember you liking was your group sessions, perhaps you could find another one to join? Know I am always around to pm.

Loads of hugs,

Laura xxx

[Piglet]

I think I have just had a right old stinking 9 months of it. 4 hospital admissions, 3 work interviews, 2 occ health interviews, 1 benefits interview (coming up) .....and a partridge in a pear tree!

:D You do have a fab way of expressing yourself mate - you make me smile ALOT!!


Today, I tidied up. First time in two weeks. I am pleased with that and while it is still manky (two weeks dust is a lotta dust:blush: .....I only quickly swept up!) it is something more than I have been doing.:)

Well done...that is just the way I tackle it too - set one achievable goal. Infact even if you don't finish the trying is a move forward in itself. You know, all these smaller steps cover the distance just aswell a massive big strides, just slower that's all

We must dance to the beat of our own drum me dear and that's what makes for an interesting mix of people. Imagine if we were all powerful go-getters, or all peaceful soul searchers. it's nice to have a gentle mix of both. So however you are at the moment you respond to it in a way that suits your being.

How you are is never wrong, you just need to listen in to know how best to respond to it. I had foul time last year and some of the previous year and know full well how continued scares and stresses can bring you right down. There is nothing wrong with slowing things right back to catch your breath mate.

Love Piglet :flowers: