Family away for 2 weeks

[tattybear]

Hiya,

As you may or may not know, ive been feeling really good lately since my house move etc.

Well my family have been planing to go away all together this year, but my finace and i decided not to go because right now with my anxiety, i wouldnt cope of a flight or anything.

They wre originally going to go on a cruise but that fell through so they fly today at 12 to cyprus for 2 weeks. its my mum dad 2 sisters brother 2 brother in laws , niece and 2 nephews who are going.

Last nite i nearly had a panic attack but managed to control it. I felt extremly low again and very tearful. I though i would wake more postive today but i avnt.

I feel extreamly down - this will be the first time since my depresison started that ive been without my family and it is panicjing me . I know i have my fiance but i just feel so sad that i wont be able to talk to my mum and dad . Im also feelin very negative and worrying very much about the flight and if they'll be ok over there etc etc.

Im feeling really low today and stil panicking - i havent got any motivation , i havnt even got dressed and just want to sleep.

My fiance is off work tomorrow and then has 2 weeks off from this friday so i wont be alone.

I just feel sad that we are not going away and im just full of worry that somthing bad may happen and i am not there. Its like my big safety net has gone and its scared me.

I know i probably sound stupid but i just needed to write it down and get it out of my system.

My finace mum and sister have just been knocking n the door - he got them to come round as a surprise but i couldnt bring myself to answer the door as i wasnt dressed and was in tears - i now feel guilty about this.

I realy have got myself into a state - my finace is coming home to be with me in a litlle while.

I didnt think i would feel like this.

Tatty B xx

[pips]

Hi Tatty B,

Sorry you are feeling low hun.

It's quite natural to feel scared and afraid when are loved ones go away. I am very close to my Mum and when she went away for a couple of weeks last month. I felt really scared and worried. I got through though.

Nothing will happen though just cause your not there. It's just those irrational thoughts getting out of control hun.

Perhaps you could ask them to contact you and let you know they arrived ok. I'm sure they will anyway.

Try to think of each day of you coping as an extra achievement for you.

Tick the days of on the calender. I did that but i got 14 calenders dotted around the house from animals to landscapes bit of a fetish i think! LOL Trouble is by the time I realised what one I put the ticks on an extra day had passed which was good!!!!!

That's good you got your chappy with you. Look at it as an opportunity to spend quality time with him. Enjoy your new house & garden and have fun hun.

Hope you feel brighter soon.

Take care,

Love PIP'S X X

[tattybear]

Thanks Pips,

I know none of them like flying so that fact there gonna be going through a flight is hard.

Ive been in text contact with them and spoken to my brother, they are also gonna text me when they arrive.

I though i would deal with it all ok, but it just hit me last nite and after such a greta fw weeks it feels horible to feel so down again.

Im just wish I could get rid of the netaive thoughts and focus on the fact they tehy will have a good holiday.

Tatty B xx

[carlin]

Hi Tatty,
I can so understand how you are feeling, of course, it is only natural, you would have loved to have gone with them and you know how they all hate flying. I believe that once they have been in touch with you on their arrival, you will be able to relax, and then what a great couple of weeks you and your partner are going to have together!!new house, new garden, exploring things together, going to bed whenever, getting up whenever...good food, good wine, bbq's. the list is endless and before you know it you will be organising a welcome home meal for your family. If your mum and dad are anything like me and my hubby when we go away, i speak to the kids at home more often than when i'm with them!!!!take care and keep in touch..

[nomorepanic]

Tatty

They will be fine and I am sure that you would want them to have a fab time even though you can't go and will miss them a lot.

We have to remember that our partners and parents suffer alongside us so it is nice to know that they are getting away for a well deserved break.

I am sure you will soon find something around the new home to keep you occupied and the time will fly past.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

[kirgray]

Hi Tatty Hun:D:D

The time will go slow at first but then before you know it it will be a couple of days before they arrive back and just think how exciting that will be....they may have even bought you a big luvly pressy!!I understand how you feel my parents moved away they live about 300 miles away(trying to get away from me LOL) and I still miss them to death, Just try and look forward to the two weeks you and fiance have together because he sounds so understanding and caring, take care hun and get those jams on and get pampering hunny bunny XKirstyX

[tattybear]

Thanks Carlin , Nic and Pamper Queen!! :D

My fiance came home from work to keep me company and im generally getting better and not feeling so tearful etc. I think I will feel loads better once I know they've arrived ok and I really really want them to have a fantastic holiday as they all deserve it esp my mum and dad :D

My fiances off work tomorrow as I have a doc appointment, I'm having some friedns round on thursday, then on friday my fiance is off for 2 weeks :D:D

We're gonna take each day as it comes and go for walks, to the beach, meals out (only if its nice weather so we can sit outside!!) and just chill. I would love for us both to be away with my family, but i know deep down it wasnt realist as i would not have coped with the flight hot weather etc etc!! So we're looking forward to maybe a small uk break at the end of the year (fingers crossed) and then hopfuly a family one next year.



Tatty B xx

[kirgray]

that sounds great Im jealous!!!can I come and go out with you!!I love walking on the beach hopefully the weather will hold and you can sit in a nice beer garden and catch some rays, youve made the right decision not going Tatty if it doesnt feel right there will be plenty more family holidays to go on in the future when the time is right for you XKX

[tattybear]

Aww Thanks Kirsty Hun,

And yes feel free to join us! :D

Tatty B xx

[Hope]

Hi Tatty B
I do hope that you are feeling bit better.
It is really hard sometimes to stop the negative thoughts. I am trying so hard at the moment to replace all mine with positive ones. It's not easy but it can be done!
You coped really well with moving and you can cope with this.
Your family will be having a nice time and will miss you too!
If you feel bad remember it passes and you will be ok.
Take care and enjoy your beach walks!
Hope
xx

[LisaS]

hi Tatty,

Just to let you know that you will be fine. I've been on my own now for a week and my hubby is due back on saturday.. I wont lie, the first couple of days went so slowly and I was very down, but remind yourself you are allowed to feel like this, it is natural.. Just plan lots of things to do and the time will go quickly, and before you know it it will be only a couple of days til they are back again! And think how pleased with yourself you will be when they get back and find out of course you can cope after all!
take care,
Lisa
xxx

"do not fear to hope...Each time we smell the autumn's dying scent, we know that primrose time will come again"

[Alton]

I felt like I was reading my own thoughts when I read your message!

My sister flew over from Oz last Sunday and we were all supposed to go to France to visit my Granparents for there 40th Wedding anniversary.
But two weeks ago I decided I couldn't go. Even the thought of being on a plane got me panicking and I just knew I'm not ready. It was hard telling them as it's the first time I have seen my sister for a year and we are very close. But they understood.

They left on Tuesday and so far I'm doing really well. BUT - I found out last night that ALL my friends are going away for the weekend to diffrent places. My boyfriend is also going away to see his brother.
The only person left is my flatmate - which is good - but I like to have lots of people around or near by - Just in case. The thing is, just in case what??!! I don't actually know what I'm afraid of happening. I guess it is that I will panic and never stop. I always feel like I'm going mad when it happens so I'm worried that I won't have those people around to calm me down.

But anyway - I know how you feel. Don't feel guilty about not going. Its better to know your limits then push them and it make you worse. And its good that you have given yourself a goal of going away later as now you have something to work towards. I'm doing exactly the same.
I sympathise but know you will be fine. Its been two days for me and apart from worrying about the weekend, I'm fine. Keep yourself busy, tire yourself out so you sleep and it will go really quickly.

[tattybear]

Thanks Hope LIsa & Alton,

I am now feeling much better & Calmer - I had some friends round this morning which was great as it was nice & sunny so able to relax outside & also see my mates puppy for the first time - yes I want one now!!

My fiance is working his last day today and then has 2 weeks off so im really looking forward to that. Ive heard via Text from one of my sisters today & I know they're all having a great time :D

Tatty B xx

[Piglet]

Hi tatty

Each day that goes by is a day nearer to them getting home again. This little separation will also show you you can do 'apart time'.

I had this little test last summer when all my kids were away at the same time and I had so been dreading it. The first day I felt a bit of a lost soul and then seemed to rally and keep myself busy and the time then flew by.

You are being lovely about them going away and soon enough you will feel like going on a future holiday all together. Like Nic says its nice for them to get a holiday too isnt it.

Hope you and your fiance enjoy the rest of the time together having fun.

Love Piglet:D

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[tattybear]

Thank Piglet.

Im happy to report that although I was quite down the first 2 days, Im now fine! My bloke is off work from last friday til next friday and we've been enjoying our new house together & getting out and about doing things - a 3 mile forest walk today!! Have heard via texts from my family - they are all well & having a brilliant time in temperatures of around 40 degress!!

Thanks for you support everyone - I guess this has shown me that I am able to cope with things after all.

Tatty B xx

[Piglet]

Ah thats great Tatty.

Its often the thought thats worse than the reality isnt it.

Hope you continue to enjoy the time - bet they'll soon be back now won't they?

Love Piglet [8D]

[tattybear]

Thanks Piglet,

Yeah, they fly back late on Tuesday and get back the early hours on wednesday so I'll see them on thursday ! No doubt they'll all be lovely and brown!

Tatty B xx

[tattybear]

Hi Guys,

well after a wobbly start, then feeling fine and enjoy the time with my bloke, I then had a PA on saturda - think i was over tied, think ive got a bug and was anxious bout family flying home.

Still feel a bit wobbly but am pretty sure its due to me being run down but......I saw my mum dad and bro today!!!! They had an amazing holiday, we spent hours catching up and looking at their holiday pics :D My mum cried a bit when we saw each other again as i think she feels a little guilyt that they went and i couldnt go - but NO WAY should she feel like this at all! they planned this last year before I was sufferng anxiety/ panic and I would not expect them for one minute not to go on holiday! they deserved the break & im so pleased they had a great time :D

Mum said she'd missed me and hearing her say that meant so much to me that I just cant described - I know my family love me and that I am loved but you dont often hear the words ' i missed you' and it really meant a lot :)

Fingers crossed I will be able to go away with them next year!

Tatty B xx

[Piglet]

Tatty,

A big well done for getting through all that time that they were away.

I bet it wont be long before you join them on a holiday too.

Love Piglet:)