goingmadder
03-04-09, 09:43
Hey everyone,
I think im thinking too much!. Finding out about GAD was very helpful last week.. but now I can't stop thinking that its not GAD.. Im fidning it hard to convince myself that my negative thoughts aren't turths.
My anxiety is always quite isolated. Like I read peoples stories on here and their anxiety is about everything or lots of things.. mine seems to be isolated to one area.. as a general term il say love. The trigger is always getting into a relationship.. the thoughts start and its a downward spiral of doubt and pain.
In my calm moments i know what i want and i know i am in love and even writting this now i feel the warm glow inside. But when the thought start i get so worried and scared of hurting my baby breaking his heart, losing him etc.
Sometimes the negative thoughts aren't coupled with the feeling of anxiety, the rushing adrenaline and sometimes they are. The negative toughts are isolated to doubting just my love for him in that when it gets really bad i quetion how i feel about everyone in my life, children, family, friends... but its still always based on Love or doubts about love and always end with me feeling like an evil horrible person who doesn't deserve the people in my life.
Nothing else in life really gets to me, i have no problems with socialising ( except perhaps seeing i am quite extrovert when im out like over compensating and people pleaseing but i feel no anxiety) i'm fine with work, shopping normal everyday stuff... so if none of those things really cause me any trouble am i really suffering from GAD or am i using it as an excuse?
I'm so sick of feeling these negative emotions and all i really want is for it to go away so i can enjoy my life with my man and love him and build our lives together, get married have a family... I want all these things but my negative thoughts and emotions make it so hard and so scarry...
I just don't know anymore, i can't trust my own mind! I've lived like this for 12 years and so im more accustomed to beleving the negative thoughts then the positive ones..
Any comments advice or suggestions would be appreciated!
love to all
X
I think im thinking too much!. Finding out about GAD was very helpful last week.. but now I can't stop thinking that its not GAD.. Im fidning it hard to convince myself that my negative thoughts aren't turths.
My anxiety is always quite isolated. Like I read peoples stories on here and their anxiety is about everything or lots of things.. mine seems to be isolated to one area.. as a general term il say love. The trigger is always getting into a relationship.. the thoughts start and its a downward spiral of doubt and pain.
In my calm moments i know what i want and i know i am in love and even writting this now i feel the warm glow inside. But when the thought start i get so worried and scared of hurting my baby breaking his heart, losing him etc.
Sometimes the negative thoughts aren't coupled with the feeling of anxiety, the rushing adrenaline and sometimes they are. The negative toughts are isolated to doubting just my love for him in that when it gets really bad i quetion how i feel about everyone in my life, children, family, friends... but its still always based on Love or doubts about love and always end with me feeling like an evil horrible person who doesn't deserve the people in my life.
Nothing else in life really gets to me, i have no problems with socialising ( except perhaps seeing i am quite extrovert when im out like over compensating and people pleaseing but i feel no anxiety) i'm fine with work, shopping normal everyday stuff... so if none of those things really cause me any trouble am i really suffering from GAD or am i using it as an excuse?
I'm so sick of feeling these negative emotions and all i really want is for it to go away so i can enjoy my life with my man and love him and build our lives together, get married have a family... I want all these things but my negative thoughts and emotions make it so hard and so scarry...
I just don't know anymore, i can't trust my own mind! I've lived like this for 12 years and so im more accustomed to beleving the negative thoughts then the positive ones..
Any comments advice or suggestions would be appreciated!
love to all
X