I suffer from the wobbles too!

[apricot]

Hi, my name is Nicola and I am a mother of 3 and 31 years old. I have suffered from panic attacks/agoraphobia since August 1997. To be honest, I had never heard of PA's, and thought that I was going mad and would be locked up in the beginning. My children were only aged 5, 1 and 9 months when they began. My main symptom in the beginning was diarrhoea. My stomach would go over and over, and the fear of having an upset stomach in public was just too much, so I stayed home...safe and sound. I wouldn't even go out into my back garden. A psychiatric nurse was sent to see me and after a few visits, because I had managed on one occasion to walk to my son's school to pick him up (with my partner at my side), I was told, 'great, keep doing what you're doing, I'm discharging you'! So began the long and very lonely road to date. I have a wonderful partner (who gave up work because I was so ill with PA's) who has been a rock to me(He return to work in June 1998). During 1998 and 2002 I made real progress, I had no problems taking the kids to school, would go to parent evenings on my own, traveled to the town centre on buses, went to an interview and training when I got the job but I didn't know that the stresses were starting to build and that the 'monster' would visit again, only this time it felt so much worse because I had begun to taste freedom once again. We had new windows put in our home in the summer of 2002, and had a lot of problems with them, resulting in many visits from the workmen, my cat (I know this one will sound really silly but...), who was 9, was hit by a car in front of my son. He ran off leaving me thinking the worse. He came back 2 days later, fortunately with only minor injuries, Then my dad suffered a minor stroke. Two days later my partner had to go and work away for a night, I had never had any problems before with being on my own in my house but that night I had a Panic Attack with new symptoms. I couldn't breath. I had to phone him and ask him to come home. Then began the attacks of fear of being on my own, that I could breath. 2003 has been a total nightmare for me I have taken so many steps back in to the monster, that I am angry with myself. I have made a decision that 2004 is my year for finally laying this to rest. I know it is going to be hard because you have to learn all over again, but I know I have trood this road before and that all of my worst fears have never come true. It's time to start living and that is what I intend to do. Christmas has been a total nightmare, with pressure from family to do what they want, or think you should do. Christmas night I think I had one of the worst panics ever, but I am still here and today I found this site and have decided to put into words some of what my fears, worries and what my life has been like to date. So heres to a good diet, excercise and positive thinking in 2004.

[Meg]

Hi Nicola,

Welcome to the site... wê're here to help so just get stuck in and post queries, questions , tips and fears.

Have a hunt about as many topics have been previously covered in detail.

You know that you can do it and can lay it to rest finally. Good luck and just shout when the road gets tough.



Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[sadie]

Hi Apricot,

Just a small note to welcolme you into our family..keep us posted on how your feeling and we will always do our best to help you!

There is so much help and support here on this forum..you will definetly not feel alone here.

Take care

sadie

[apricot]

Thank you both for your kind comments. The funny thing is I have read so much on the subject my partner says that I should be given a degree in Panic. I know all the answers and can explain and calm someone else but cannot apply the same rules to myself! Weird:)

Turn 'what ifs' into 'I can' and you will.

[stephen]

hi apricot .like sadie says wecome to the family i hope we can all be of help to you in our own ways .for me the best thing about this site was discovering i wasnt alone and meeting some really nice people!take care. stephen.xx

[apricot]

I must admit that knowing there are others out there that suffer like you and think the same silly things are you is a help.

Thank you all :)

Turn 'what ifs' into 'I can' and you will.

[benoo5]

hi nicola,

welcome to this little haven,its the one place you can talk about things,that are difficult for others to understand.

with a new year looming,quite a few people here have decided to keep a daily journal,so that during the rough times,you can look back,and see youve had these problems before,and come through the other side...its also good to look back,and see how you have progressed,over the weeks,and months...little steps...is wot were aiming at,as little steps,can soon become big steps....best wishes..bryan.

[Lottie32]

Hi Apricot

It's just a matter of turning your thoughts around. I have suffered for twenty years (I am 33 now), and this has been "on and off". Like you, my anxiety manifests itself in my "tummy" and I try and avoid going out "just in case". although to be fair, I have never had an accident or a close call, but it's just not pleasant.

I am (excepting Meg) pretty much the worlds expert on panic, but like you I find it very hard to apply things to myself! Most of this is due to negative thought patterns. I do this even now.

Like you, and many others on this site, we have decided that 2004 is going to be "our year".

I hope that like me you will find this site invaluable - whether its advice, friendship, support or just to know you aren't "alone", this site has it all!

But a word of warning - it's quite addictive!

Charlie

[uryjm]

Hi Nicola
You've come to the right place, where you can chat with so many of us who have been through, and are still going through, the symptoms you describe. I've found this support perhaps the most effective "treatment" I've come across. The reassurance that what we're going through is normal and nothing new, and that we won't turn into screaming, snivelling no-hopers shivering in a corner is a lighthouse in what was a lonely, threatening ocean. It's one thing reading it in a book, I've found, and another in talking to people who are battling it here and now, charting their ups and downs. Good luck.

Jim

[nomorepanic]

Hi Nicola

Welcome to the message forum. I hope you can put all that positive talk into action in 2004 and like most of us here make it "the" year to get better.

If you can offer any advice to others on the site then your wealth of knowledge will be much appreciated.

Nicola