View Full Version : Stupid agoraphobia
I have just tried to get out the house - just down the road to post office - and I cant do it. I have tried so hard. I just downed 2 large Baileys and I dont even drink! just go get past that stupid front door. I live in a fairly rural area so its not like its exactly busy out there. I cant do it!!! Its a nightmare. I get upset cos I get told to confront my phobia and then when I confront it, its a nightmare. I am sat crying buckets of tears cos I am so fed up with all of this. :weep:
Hey hun...
Don't get mad with yourself - YOU TRIED!
How far did you get?
x
bluegirl09
06-04-09, 13:52
i wish i was there with you id say you CAN DO IT you can however hard it seems however scary and bad the symptoms are you can get to that bloody post office -stay off the booze tho i love baileys always reminds me of xmas maybe just go half way to the post office just having some frsh air at first maybe only 100 yards its a start kid and when you do get there give yourself a bloody good treat - i made it for a weekend away my problem is i can leave my home but as long as i can get back im okay soo going 400 miles was a nightmare i did though!!! and im gonna have a haircut n colour and get some new togs done beat yourself up at least you tried you may have too try 100 times but you will get there good luck too you x
Poppy..
What has happened since this fantastic, positive post?
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=46143
x
Hey im exactly the same! its so frustrating not been able to go out without feeling so bad.when i do try it seems to go wrong then i feel angry with myself and really down. But you do have to keep trying take really small steps to build confidence an take one day at time.. x x x
its horrible not being able to go out im the same , a wine for dutch courage but today ive got to go out no matter what at half 3 to see a psyciatrist , ive never felt so scared i dont think your def not alone but well done for trying
amandaxx
Poppy,
imagine for one minute, you wake up and you are at the post office, and the panic starts coming because you've got to get home, and you feel home is so far away.
This is what happened to me yesterday while i was in the zoo, all of a sudden i was like.............oh oh! its too far and too long to run back to the car, the things that went through my head were unbelievable.....to the point of i wanted to ask one of the zoo keepers could he get one of there motorised buggy things to get me back to the car.........erm how embarresing would that have been, so all i could do was say to myself........you're stuck and there isn't anything you can do so i'll have to panic all round the zoo, and then i started thinking .........okay whats the worse thats gonna happen, i'm gonna start hyperventilating but i wont pass out, i never have, so i said to myself.......okay panic do your worse....
nothing happened hun!
try little steps first, like to the end of the road, then to round the block and so on.
But please don't beat yourself up about it, just do it slowly
best wishes
di xx
I did it!!!!!! I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went - ok I was actually crying down the length of the road and could hardly breathe and was red hot and it felt like I was scaling Mount Everest but I finally got in that post office!!!!!!!!!!!! The postmaster was talking to me but I could barely get my words out cos I was hyperventilating so much!!! I bet he could smell the drink on me too!!!!!! I bet he thought I was some crazy drunk woman on a Monday afternoon in the village post office!!!
I came back out and felt better on the way home but I could still hardly breathe and the wind was against me which for some reason makes me stress more. I got in and collapsed in a heap. I feel absolutely exhausted!!!!!!!!
I did it though!!!!!!!!!!!! All that just to post a parcel to my little 9 year old niece!!! She better appreciate it! lol
Thank You everyone for your kind words of encouragement. Di - Your post was so encouraging too. Thanks everyone - I dont mean to whinge so much. Its so hard though sometimes isnt it?
nomorepanic
06-04-09, 15:32
Aww Poppy
Fantastic well done :yahoo: :yesyes:
Well done Poppy!! I have had that myself and know how awful it is...I still get it at times too...keep telling yourself positive things and remember that nothing bad happened and its just thoughts......big hugs to you xx
:yesyes: Way to go poppy:yesyes:
well done you, we're all proud of you
di xx
Well done Poppy :roflmao:
Thank You everyone. Your messages are lovely. :)
I feel a bit sicky after the Baileys and getting all emotional again.
I dont recommend Baileys when taking Citalopram! :doh:
I cant believe I actually got out of the house on my own - ok it was only to the village post office - but it felt like it was a million miles away at the time.
If I can do it then anyone who is feeling the same as I was, can do it, I am sure. It was hard going and I cried all the way there but it was worth it just for the feeling of I did it, that I have now!
Thank you again for being so lovely and supportive. :hugs:
bluegirl09
06-04-09, 21:33
well done kiddo now make sure you keep it up at least once a week gotta keep on going out -who cares if you cried you did it you bloody did it good on ya :hugs:
Poppy dont give urself a hard time hun the main thing is u tried hun and be proud of that. I understand how u feel and how hard it was for u i feel like that most days as i am agoraphobic and im housebound and i like u try all the time to leave the house but its hard work hun and nine times out of ten i fail but remember this ....its that one time that i did manage it that counts and the fact that iv tried hun . So chin up hun ur so brave be proud :hugs: Name xx
Anxious_gal
07-04-09, 01:44
aw well done! I remember one day I hyperventalated all the home from the nearest shop!
aw Baileys is yummy! yeah true not a good idea to mix med's and alcohol.
i take sedatives sometimes to help me go places.
it's good though! see now you know even though your terrified you can still do it! x
Hi all :)
Thank you for your lovely supportive and kind messages. They have really helped me. I feel so much better for getting out yesterday even if it was just down the road!
Name - I agree with what you wrote. Its the 1 time that counts isnt it?
I was absolutely shattered yesterday after going - it just shows how much stress takes it out of us doesnt it?
Baileys and citalopram = not a good mixture! :wacko:
I dont drink either! It was all that was left in cupboard from christmas though apart from Cherry B's! lol :lac:
ladybird64
07-04-09, 20:47
Hi Poppy
This all sounds so familiar..:winks:
I have done something similar recently and posted here on the forum asking for an immediate boost to get me out the door..and it worked, there is always someone around who will give you the "oomph" that you need.
I do think that although it is important to acknowledge our successes, we must also acknowledge just how much these wee journeys take out of us..allow yourself to recuperate a little.
I am still having difficulty "accepting" my agoraphobia and ensuing anxiety/panic and I have a feeling that I always will but I have started to realise that I don't have to recover according to an agenda..I have to give myself time. I don't know if I would recommend the Baileys as an alternative method of facing your fears..probably best not. :D
I reached a personal decison recently and that was to rely solely on this forum for advice and support, there are so many methods of self-help out there it makes my head spin. So far I'm doing ok and from what you've written you're going to do just fine too. Little steps Poppy and we will be with you on your journeys, no matter how small they are. (Even if it's to the front door!)
Have one of these :hugs: and keep us posted on your progress.
well done keep going I have been as bad as you are now and now I can go out around my town with hardly any problems it was hard and I cried a lot but it is worth it do not give up. I repeated the same journey many many times until the anxiety came down and before I tried to go further. The anxiety always came down and often it was a surprise.
Faith and Ladybird - Thank You for your lovely messages. :)
Faith - Can you go out and about now without any panic? You sound like you have done really well !
Ladybird - You are right about using this site for support and the help and advice I have taken from this site has helped me so much.
I am planning on another little excursion soon, only without the help of Baileys this time! lol
Hugs to you both! :hugs:
YAY!! Well done Poppy and everyone else who plucks up the courage to step outside! I'm in the same boat and get VERY angry with myself and angry at agoraphobia - but I'm sure, one day, I'll overcome it again!!
Keep on keeping on Poppy!!
:hugs:
Thanks Doodah for your encouragement! I appreciate it :) I will Keep on Keeping On lol :yesyes:
How often do you get to go out and how long have you had agoraphobia for?
Well done poppy, am going through something simliar at the moment, i have a outting on sunday that am not looking forward but need to face my fears, am totally petrified about and just thinking about it at the moment am getting sweaty palms. I will be with good friends but i dont i might say i cant go but after reading you post you have given me will power. I will keep you posted xxxxx
Well done poppy, am going through something simliar at the moment, i have a outting on sunday that am not looking forward but need to face my fears, am totally petrified about and just thinking about it at the moment am getting sweaty palms. I will be with good friends but i dont i might say i cant go but after reading you post you have given me will power. I will keep you posted xxxxx
Thank you for your post! :)I will keep my fingers crossed for you! :yesyes: I wont pretend it wasnt really uncomfortable going out because as I am sure you know only too well how bad it gets, but I honestly have felt so good since I went out. I was so upset before I went and was crying and angry. I turned to this site and then after I had posted I thought I am really upset and have not gone out and so I may as well be really upset and go out. I felt dissapointed in myself for not getting through that door and that's what made me do it. I think it was a combination of being angry and frustrated and so I went for it, out the door and down the road to the village post office lol Ok the Baileys helped but I dont recommend drinking! I am going to try again only this time without the help of a drink!
You will feel so much better for having gone out. It made me feel proud of myself that I had stood up to agoraphobia and that I wasn't beaten by it.
I know realistically that there are going to be times when I find I can't overcome it but this time I used my anger & frustration to get me out there and it worked. It was definitely worth it for how I felt afterwards!
I hope you manage to get out with your friends and that you have a lovely day. You will feel so much better for it. It really has boosted my confidence in that it showed me that all is not lost, and it gave me hope that it needn't be like this forever for us all.
Let us know how you get on. Will be thinking of you! :hugs:
Hi,
I have found that I don't like spending time alone any more and I think it has developed into a bit of agoraphobia, as I no longer want to go anywhere on my own. Stupid anxiety! Of course, being out of work for 5 months will do this to people. :D
I don't mind so much if I'm going out with someone. It takes a bit of effort to work up the nerve to go somewhere or do something, sometimes even to leave the room I'm in, but it can and must be done. Having someone there makes it a million times easier :)
Hi Poet!
I agree with your post.
I didnt use to be as bad as I am now with agoraphobia and I think the more we stay home, the more we will find going out on our own difficult. Our homes become our comfort zone and we dont want to leave them.
I cant go anywhere on my own now unless I am with other people. I will go out on my own but like the other afternoon its accompanied by lots of tears and upset.
I used to be roombound mostly a few months ago when very ill and then I recovered from that and gradually I improved.
I am quite an outdoorsy person naturally so now having agoraphobia can really get me down but I am not going to allow it to make me this way for years. I will just have to spend my life crying when outdoors lol
I think not working does have a big effect on our confidence. It helps take our minds off our problems too doesnt it?
I have friends and people I go out with but who are obviously not around a lot of the time due to working.
Anxious_gal
08-04-09, 14:44
agoraphobia can really sneak up on you ! I remember I'd be nervous going places alone, then i wouldn't go certain places, then I'd only go out if i was with someone. being with some i felt normal! so i honestly didn't realize i was having anxiety!
then i started not going out. I'd be like I'll feel better tomorrow!
the only thing that helps is going out over and over again!
if i didn't go out for a few days then i find it even harder to go out.
the longer i stay inside the harder it is to go out side!
Mishel - That is a really good post! Thank you for replying!
I am going to really confront my agoraphobia - I couldnt stand being stuck in on my own forever. That thought alone scares me so much as there is so much I want to do and see in my life.
I sometimes think what if my 'safe people' disapeared - then what??? I dont like being too dependent on other people, it makes me feel insecure and like I am a burden. It takes away my confidence and self esteem.
I am going out later (not on my own) but what I am going to do is walk back on my own from where we are going.
I was remembering earlier that when I was little - I was attacked by a roaming dog on my way to school - after that, I developed a fear of dogs, which I still have to this day, and I would walk miles out of my way if I spotted a dog on its own - this was years ago when there seemed to be a lot of dogs wandering around without their owners - maybe this triggered off the beginnings of agoraphobia, about the fear of being out on my own & feeling vulnerable outside on my own. :shrug:
Dizzy-Dave
09-04-09, 01:55
Poppy, congratulations on your sucess so far.
As someone who is facing the big wide world aswell, I can relate to you in a big way and i'm sure many others can too (who might not post).
I just updated one of my posts and I put a paul mckenna quote in there which always gives me a boost when i think about it.
'We were not born with Agoraphobia, we learnt it..... and if we learnt it, we can unlearn it!'
Take care :)
Hi Dave! :)
Thanks for your post. I love the quote. I really like Paul Mckenna. Its true we were not born with agoraphobia however....do you think it could be genetic like anxiety and depression can be? My mum was agoraphobic at times in her life and she has suffered all her life refusing all help with anxiety and depression - she has been an alcoholic for 30 years and still hanging on in there at 81 years old!:wacko: She turned to drink because of her anxiety and depression :lac: My sister also has agoraphobia but manages to get out and about in her car.
I will take a look at your other post. You seem very positive about your agoraphobia and that is a good thing. I am feeling really inspired by how people are dealing with and overcoming agoraphobia. I always thought there was no recovery from agoraphobia and at one point thought I would end up spending my life indoors if no one was around to accompany me outdoors :scared15:
Thank you for congratulating me too! I shall take a look at your other post! :)
Dizzy-Dave
09-04-09, 12:58
I dont personally think it's possible to inherit mental problems from our parents but anything is possible i guess.
My agoraphobia stems from my illness (Labyrinthitis).
That would be my main reason for staying in so much that it became a permanent thing.
Though taking drugs as a teenager and a few traumatic events have probally shaped the way i think and that in turn effects how i deal with this.
Poppy, do you know why your agoraphobic ?
I have just tried to get out the house - just down the road to post office - and I cant do it. I have tried so hard. I just downed 2 large Baileys and I dont even drink! just go get past that stupid front door. I live in a fairly rural area so its not like its exactly busy out there. I cant do it!!! Its a nightmare. I get upset cos I get told to confront my phobia and then when I confront it, its a nightmare. I am sat crying buckets of tears cos I am so fed up with all of this. :weep:
Hey today you failed, tomorrow you may suceed. And it will be so much the sweeter because you failed. Don't beat yourself up trying is all part of the progress.
Tizxx
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