View Full Version : Constant panic assaults
Hello,
I am a 49 year old man who has started experiencing panic attacks almost constantly over the past few days. Fortunately. (or unfortunalely, depending on your point of view), I was afflicted by this same asault in 1985. A psyche doctor LOADED me with drugs - started with xanax (Monstrous dose). It cured the panic, but then he decided I was depressed, and prescribed tofranil... I almost died. Had an allergic reaction, didn't sleep for 72 hours, my BP never dropped below 146/110 during that time, and it was SIX months before I could feel my lips again. Anyway, he gave me other meds, the result of which caused me to have absolutely no memory of the first six months of 1986. Enventually, I lost an excellent job, two kids, and almost everything I owned.
I finally removed myself from this doctor and these meds by 1989 (I was taking 1/2 of a .25 xanax at the end, and, after a week of xanax withdrawl, which I was prepared for, never had another attack...
Until now.
I have rebuilt my life, career, married a wonderful woman. Then, here at Christmas time, the panic attacks have come blasting at me again, and I am terrified. Ive dusted off the old books, tried using my old tools, with varying success, and even purchased a pint of Vodka today, in case things get so bad I have to anesthetsise myself to oblivion. (I am a teetotaler, never drank in my life, and hope nver to, but I'm desperate.) Here in West Virginia (USA), there are no family docs in during the holidays. The past few nights, I have called the Behavior med wards at the two local hospitals, and they talked me thru the late night attacks, but of course cannot provide anything else.
I purchased a book by Jerilyn Ross "Triumph over Fear" yeasterday, and read it by this morning. I would love to be able to control these attacks without meds, as she puts forth. I have read horror stories about the "new Drugs", Lexipro, etc, and am terrified of having another tofranil episode.
I realise I am rambling a bit, but for those of you who have been here, please understand my fear and pleadings. I am a very frightened man. If anyone can offer suggestions, their views on other meds (Hopefully I can get in to see my family MD sometime this week after his holiday break) or just offer up a prayer for me, I would be so indebted. For the moderator, even if this is too long or inapproproate for your forum, thank you so much for the opportunity to express my fears to someone.
God bless you all, and thank you for your site.
Rick, me714@aol.com
Hi Rick
Hopefully you're feeling better, and welcome to the site. I sometimes wonder if those of us who have truly experienced a full blown panic attack ever completely get over it. It's such a fright, you just can't block it from your mind as if it never happened. Therefore it's not a disaster when the monster decides to revisit. It's just the way it is and the way we are. For me, your horror story about the drugs strengthen my resolve to try and steer clear of that route (although I would admit to bathing my occasionally panicky mind in a nice pint of beer. Just a pint or two, mind! Obliterating it with vodka would leave me with bigger problems in the morning.)In the end, the answer lies within yourself and I wish you well in trying to find it.
Jim
Thanks, Jim.
I appreciate your response and encouragement. I do have a queation of for you, or anyone else reading this... My poor stomach has been giving me fits over the past month or so. I remember, when I had the first eposodes (1985), whenever my tummy would act up, I knew I was in for it. It seems as of now, these attacks are coming from my stomach. (Does that make any sense??) It seems that, if I could calm my digestive system, it would stop those deadly twinges. I bought a bottle of pink poison (Pepto Bismol), and wonder if that'll do any good. (Just took a dose). So, anyone have any ideas on panic attacks from below???
Thank you,
Rick
Hi Rick,
I am a new memebr too, I only joined yesterday. I have suffered from PA with Agoraphobia since Aug 1997. Remember you are not alone, I think that is one of the main things with PA's, that you feel so alone at times. As I have said above, I have only been a member a day but it has helped me reading through posts to confirm I am not mad in the way I think, there are many, many others who go through what I go through. Try not to build on the Panic you have recently had. With Christmas holidays most 'normal people' get stressed and if you do suffer from PA's the stress is hightened a million times. Like myself, I recovered to about 80% of the old me and had a bad set back in 2002, which I am gradually fighting back from. I know that at the time I didn't realise that the stress in my life was mounting. But I do know that if I had looked at it a bit differently - insted of 'oh, my god, here I go again, I am going to be agoraphobic, My Parnter is going to have to give up work, etc', I should have said to myself, 'well I have had a lot of stress, this is just my body telling me to take it easy for a bit, reduce the stress and take time for me', I wouldn't have fell so deep into the hole again. So take some deep breaths, look at what stresses you have had over the last few months and how you can reduce them and put into practice what you learnt all those years ago...Panic didn't beat you then, so why should it now? It's a natural body reaction (although bloo*y awful at times) and it does pass. My panic starts with my stomach turning and turning until I need to rush to the loo. This is what made me Agoraphobic, as the thought of having an upset stomach in public was just too much. I try to look at the worst case, if I have an upset stomach in public, so what, other people must have had this happen to them and survived and I can't have an upset stomach 365 days of the year, can I? If we catch a stomach bug 8 times a year, that's a lot. I just think to myself when my panic starts like this when I am out, I have experienced this before and the worst has never happened, so why should it happen now?
Take care and good luck,
Nikki
Take care of yourself and good luck.
Turn 'what ifs' into 'I can' and you will.
Thanks again, folks.
Being a new member, I'm not sure what I was even supposed to do... Just a late nite panicky post, and suddenly, there are folks who care enough to take the time to pat me on the back and encourage me. You know, if you all were to see me, I would be the last person you'd expect to be suffering... I'm a big, ol hairy (except on top)ex coal miner, college man, pretty good industrial electrician, oudoorsman (don't hunt, but love the woods,) author (have written articles for the new WV State encycolpedia),... And I'm sitting here at the keyboard, weeping like a child, because somneone cares...
Tears of joy, now THAT'S a great feeling.
God bless you all
RIck
Hi Rick,
If it makes you feel any better, I too was sitting at my keyoard yesterday, weeping like a child because I was in so much distress due to my symptoms and I recieved great help and support from others...
I just felt so lucky to have such great friends and the fact that I was not alone!!!
Hope your tummy feels better today!
sadie
Hi Rick,
I find that most people that do suffer from PA's are not who people would think. Usually personality type A's, they say. I was very confident, didn't think twice about doing something, going anywhere, always made my feelings felt, then in just one day that all changed. I look on it that we are all sent to learn something in this life and I think mine must be to get over these PA's. This is my lesson in life and just think when we have all bagged it, what a wonderful life we all will have appreciating everything, not taking it for granted like millions of others do. We all know first had suffering, desperation and dispear and once we start to battle back the taste of life is so much sweeter than before.
Remember you have done it before, and you will again.
Take care,
Nikki
Turn 'what ifs' into 'I can' and you will.
Nikki,
Thank you for your kind replies. You just may be right when you say these attacks are lessons for us to learn,... Or perhaps humility, too. As I posted earlier, I was a PA sufferer that had been to hell and back a few years ago, and won. (So I thought) This current bout of attacks has remided me to never take things for granted, and also has given me a new empathy for those who suffer. There may be someone, perhaps, that I may run into, on this board or in person, that, with my newly re-discovered respect for and understanding of these attacks, I may be able to give insight, encouragement, or just a simple, "Hang in there, It'll be alright" to - Just as you and the others have done for me.
"What good we do for others shall be returned tenfold unto us..."
So, be expecting good things, for with your kindness and understanding toward me, you certainly deserve it!!
Thanks,
Rick
hi rick,
welcome to the >friendly> little haven,
god,youve really suffered over the years,but youve beaten it once,and you can do it again...sounds as if you had the doctor from hell,giving you medication from hell.
so i would first of all,find yourself a good doctor,one that will listen,and not just sit there watching your lips move.
when your prescribed medication,ask about any possible side effects,ask how long,roughly it will take,before you can expect any sign of them working for you.
ask,if you can be referred to a therapist,one who has experience with panic attacks,these people are very good,and can show you ways to help yourself,just in case attacks happen again in the future.
get some bach rescue,just flower essense,put a few drops in water,and sip all day,takes the edge of your feelings..only herbs,so can only do you good.
concentrate on your breathing,loosen the top of your jeans,so your tummy can relax,breath from the tummy,not the chest...breath in to count of 4, and breath out to count of 7.
leave the vodka alone,specially if your tee total,it would be too much of a shock for your body...by all means,have a little in a glass of orange,just to relax you,but thats all,and cut out coffee!
hope this helps a bit..best wishes..bryan.
Thanks, Bryan, and all others.
So far, today has been a pretty benign day, which is good. I took the pink poison, and perhaps it has settled my tum down, or, perhaps, just perhaps, being with you folks has allowed me to cry, laugh, and feel, which is what I need. Thank you all again so very much.
Now, a question. I've read in several posts about this bach rescue thing... I've never heard of it before. Is there a site or something I can vist to learn more about it?
Thanks,
Rick
hi nick,
www.bachcentre.com
just a few drops,in a small bottle of mineral water,can carry it about with you,and sip all day,keep it by your bed,and if you wake up feeling anxious,just take a few sips..good luck..bryan.
Hiya Rick,
WELCOME to our family. I am reading your posts and feeling just awful for you. I know this is hard, but like everyone else has posted you are not alone and you have beaten it before and you DEFINITELY will this time.The Bach Rescue everyone is speaking of is a great alternative to the RX meds. It is just a subtle calming feeling. I believe you can go to www.VITAMINSHOPPE.COM to get some information on it and also order it online. I`m not sure if you all have THE VITAMIN SHOPPE there in West Virginia, but if so you could just pop in there and pick it up. I`m in Germantown MD., actually only 45 minutes or so from Charlestown West Virginia. I believe also you can log onto BACHRESCUE.com and get some information on it. I hope this helps. Just keep those positive thoughts flowing, and read your books and do your breathing exercises. This to shall pass. If you ever need a kind word or just someone to vent your feelings to or just wanna share anything pop on here someone is always on here who can see you through a bad experience. We all care about one another on here, we know what it is to deal with this terrible disorder. Yet I know TOGETHER we will all beat this, and what wonderful peaceful lives we`ll live ey? Hope your tummy is feeling much better today. It seems to me that the tummy upset comes along with the anxiety/panic. I too have been a sufferer from the age of 15 that I can remember off and on, and just recently has reared its ugly head again. It is horrific. Like everyone else mentioned I think this time of year even "NORMAL" people experience an abundance of stress so we are not to beat ourselves up over it. Just obviously our bodies react a bit more intense to stress than others might, but hey that is who we are. Luckily for us we here have each other, and we are never alone. Take care Rick, keep posting to let us know how you are getting along. Let me know if you find the Bach Rescue.
Diana xoxoxo
Hiya Rick,
Welcome !! No post here is too long or inappropriate if its anxiety or panic related ...
You post all you like and in any emotional state that you find yourself in. We're all here to support you through this as you will be doing to others in a few short weeks.
Here are some pointers of what you could do to help yourself today .
There are several things that you can do to help yourself with these although they are not ‘cures’ in the traditional way as taking an antibiotic and the infection goes away completely.
Medication can help to give you a break from the worst part of panic but unless something else changes within you - when you come off the medication the issues remain and often the panic reoccurs. Beteblockers are very helpful to reduce the symptoms and are not mood altering drugs and are not sedatives - they are used in anxiety to redice the racing heart beat and associated spiralling physical symptoms. NOT for asthmatics though.
Other avenues that do help include:
Breathing - Learn to breathe from your diaphragm, your tummy should rise and fall with your breath as well as your chest. Ensure your out breath is longer than the in one. A count of 4 in – 6 out is great. Use this as soon as you feel panic rising. Alternatively, hold your breath for a few seconds between breaths.
Distraction- As soon as you feel the anxiety soaring and you get afraid – do something different. Change your environment, talk to someone, do something, distract yourself. It’s often enough to dissipate the panic .
Comfort yourself – be totally positive with yourself but do allow yourself to go with it. Keep giving yourself positive messages that this will pass naturally and cannot harm you- breath and distract.
Regular exercise – uses the adrenaline/ noradrenaline and the cortisol that are secreted when panic sets in and enhances endorphine production
Tai’ chi or Yoga – promotes complete relaxation as well as stretching. This has a cumulative effect so try it regularly. The meditation part also helps learn to still the mind and cumulatively is a very effective exercise to learn to use during panic.
Relaxation tapes are extremely useful . Find one you like and stick to it. Play it every day whether you are stressed or not and soon whenever you feel anxious just putting it on will relieve that tension .
Massage- releases the tension that builds up in your tissues. Often with anxiety we store it in major muscle groups apart from the usual chronic shoulders and neck so leg muscles etc can go into spasm. Reaction from the guts is also common, you may find you get wild disturbances.
When you are starting to feel anxious - Bach rescue remedy will take the edge off.. These are flower essences, are completely safe and have no sideeffects. A couple of squirts in a bottle of water and sip liberally all day. Additionally, I used Aspen for fear, Cherry plum for terror and Rock rose for control.
Nutritional supplements – having panic and anxiety is extremely draining on your body resources. A strong 50-100 mg Vit B complex supplement is highly recommended as is extra calcium and magnesium , take this one at night . www.quest.co.uk is a reputable source.
Unless you’re intolerant , warm milk at night contains tryptosan which promotes sleep and relaxation.
Aromatherapy- lavender, clary sage, vetiver oil baths.
If you are really shaky passiflora /lemon balm/ valerian root/ hops tinctures for instant help or tablets regularly.
St Johns Wort can also help but doesn’t kick in for 3 weeks or so
Kava Kava is brilliant for anxiety but is currently withdrawn from the EU whilst investigations go on into possible liver sideeffects complicated by anxiety people often taking to alcohol for relief…
For constant insomnia melatonin is excellent. It’s not available in the UK but widely available in the US where its main use is for jetlag
With all of the herbs above if you are on any other medications at all then you must check it out carefully and ask for professional advic
Why I don't drink anymore
(by Tom Edwards, no idea who he is/was ) that summarises the effects neatly :
I changed because I have the sickness of alcoholism, alcoholism doesn't come in bottles, it comes in people.
You should have seen me.
I drank for happiness and became unhappy.
I drank for joy and became miserable.
I drank to become outgoing and became self-centred.
I drank for sociability and became argumentative and lonely.
I drank for sophistication and became crude and obnoxious.
I drank for friendship and made enemies.
I drank to soften sorrow and wallowed in self-pity.
I drank for strength and felt weak.
I drank for masculinity and it sapped my potency.
I drank medicinally and became sick.
I drank because I thought my job called for it and lost my job.
I drank to stimulate and blacked out.
I drank to make conversation and got to where I couldn't talk at all.
I drank to forget and became haunted.
I drank for freedom and became a slave.
I drank for power and became powerless.
I drank to erase problems and saw them multiply.
I drank to cope with life, and invited death.
Keep it under control - please
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
You guys are great.
I can't believe the kindness and care I have recieved since posting here. Thank you again. As far as the vodka, I was so desperate to stop these attacks, I was willing to resort to anything. The bottle is to remain unused by me, except, perhaps, as snakebite medicine (inside West Virginia hillbilly joke - although I really DID get snakebit once, years ago (Copperhead). My foot passed through the most amazing series of colors...)
Alcohol abuse does run in my family. I saw what it did to my uncles and half brothers, hence my early in life decision to remain alcohol free. I guess buying the vodka just demonstrates the desperation we feel when under this assault of panic. I appreciate the gentle yet stern warnings I have recieved, and, rest assured, they are taken to heart. Today has been fairly good. The sun is out, christmas is over (BTW, could somebody explain by email or whatever, what IS boxing day? I've always been curious...).
I was reminded, also, that my mother passed away ten years ago, Dec 20th. Perhaps that helped trigger soem deep, unresolved angst.
Meg, as I have scanned thru the different areas of the board, I see you (and others) taking enormous amounts of time to help total strangers. You are all a bunch of saints.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed, for it seems that these attacks happen worst at night, so... We'll see what happens!
Everyone have a great day or evening, or night, wherever you are.
Rick
My 12 Year old has told me only this morning that Boxing Day was when the Servants (when people had them) got their presents?
Keep Smiling :)
Nikki
Turn 'what ifs' into 'I can' and you will.
..and in order not to embarrass anyone,as different ranks and favourites got different amounts, they all got them in similar boxes ...
Rick - so I hope you've identified a way or two to help yourself in the mean time.
I didn't go through all this hell myself to then sit back and watch everyone have to figure it out for themsleves and be totally selfish and I'm all right Jack about it.
I am lucky , I am a trained nurse and one of my roles is teaching . It seems to go together.
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Well, I'll be darned...
Boxing day is about BOXES!!! That's pretty cool. Naturally, over here in West Virgina, all we (me and the kids I grew up with, when we first heard of Boxing day) could imagine, was a bunch of guys slugging it out after christmas, for whatever reason... That never did make much sense. Now, not only have I recieved wonderful kindness, counseling, and friendship -
I have learned a cultural lesson!!!
You guys are great. I owe you all. When I whip these attacks again, you all have an open invitation to come to WV and I'll take you blackberry pickin, four wheelin, and watching the sun set behind the mountains from an abandoned mine road atop another mountain while we all sit and sip root beer. (It's actually very beautiful).
Thanks again!
Rick
Just a note for those who have so kindly been following my story...
I had a good day today, then this evening, went to Wal Mart to pick up some things. Drove around a bit, then stopped to buy a burger to take home to the wife. The assaults began coming again, for some reason. Using deep breathing, random thoughts, and the other tips you all have given me, so far none of the assaults have turned into full blown attacks, though the night is still young.
I wonder why I have this trouble predominately at night... I've always been a night person, I even work evening shift by choice, though I have seniority to work days. BTW, my plant is shut down for the two week holiday period, and thus perhaps I have too much free time?
Nah... Until this past week, as I stated previously, these attacks have lain dormant for years. Why now?? Who knows.
Just keep your fingers crossed for me as I am for you.
God bless,
Rick
~ You are your own safe person and place. ~
I love this, Meg. Thank you so much.
HI all...
Just woke up, so I was able to sleep some... Yesterday evening was a struggle, because the assaults kept trying to come. Kncoked most of them down, but by 10:30pm I was EXHAUSTED! Then, got an email from my sis with whom I'm a little estranged, HAD to anwer that one, so up until 1:30 am. (Long email...)
When I woke up this morning, I couldn't breathe - not panic attack wise, but genuinely could barely breathe, my chest is on fire... We've had a terrible flu epidemic here, ranout of vaccinations, and guess who missed out on a shot??? I'm off to the local "Doc in a Box" at 9 to stand in line and get some flu meds. (I'm not sure if you all in the UK have the equivilent, but what we call doc in a box over here is like a private, open door clinic for everything from hangnails to heart attacks, first come, first serve, follow up with your owm MD later - and you'd better have some good med insurance, 'cause they ain't cheap!!}
Question - If I'vebeen fighting this bug for a week unknowingly, does anyone think, perhaps, that this is what has triggered these attacks that have lain dormant for so long? Any ideas? That would certain ly explain teh tummy roils and general feeling of malaise(?) - Not sure what malaise means, but it sounds good...
Anyway good luck to all, and if you run into me today - avoid me like the plague. I'm probably contagious!
I love you all!!
Rick
Dear Rick,
Often when people get ill with a virus or something, the initial symptoms such as hot flushes, shivering, faster heart rate remind the person of how they felt when they did have panic, they dwell on these for a little while, that then turns to concern, then worry and before long they're virtually telling their body to react.
The only panic attack I had for a long time with no panics was after climbing Mount Vesuvius in a storm , coming down soaked through - then sitting in a train very chilled and starting to shake . I then noticed you couldn't move out of the train carriage into another one and there was no loo on board. One thought led to another and bang - off I went on one. At my worst I was big on shaking and I know I made the association and thats what did it.
malaise = lethargy
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Thanks, Meg..
You're great. Well, I'm off to the medical cattle call... We'll keep our fingers crossed. May be able to whip it yet! - Plus, this may ring a bell with someone else, and may give them an idea, or at least hope that it could be something relatively simple. I hope it turns out that way, at least. I'll keep y'all posted.
God bless you all, and stay away from the Flu Bug - it's a real meanie!!!
Rick
Hiya Rick,
Glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better today except for the possible flu.I too experience night panic, so I know what you are going through. It`s good though that you are able to put your finger on some of the reasons why the anxiety may have approached you at this particular time. Just keep positive thoughts flowing and remember that there are reasons you are feeling this way right now, and most of all remember you have us here, you are not alone!!!!! Keep those posts coming. Let us know how you are progressing. I hope you are able to get some meds for the flu or virus you have picked up. That should make a difference in the way you are feeling too. I know all the news about the flu this year is frightening. It has killed so many. I fortunately got my flu shot this year, my doc always catches me at the beginning of the season. I laughed when I read your idea on "BOXING DAY" I too thought it was something to do with the "SPORT" of boxing. I guess we learn something everyday. LOL.... :)
Take care Rick,
Diana xoxoxo
bananarbabe
29-12-03, 19:10
hi Rick,
I've only been having panic attacks for the last month but since I've been on meds and reading more and more about panic attacks I've noticed that 98% of my panic symptoms come up at night too! One way that i've been dealing with this is through reading self-help books. The one I'm currently reading is called Anxiety for Dummies. It's a great read after having a panic attack. Definately reminds me that I'm not alone with this and also has some suggestions on how to deal with panic attacks without meds.
Chris
Hi, all
Well, went to the clinic, (It was packed... the whole world is sick, i think.) The doc spent his required three minutes with me, prescribed something called Levaquin for the flu bug. I hven't taken any yet, I'll probably research it until I scare myself out of taking it!:)
Seriously, I Know nothing about it, so I don't know if it'll make things better or worse. (Panic wise)
I told him about the Panic attacks, so he gave me a 20 pill dose of something called clonazepam. Is it worth taking, or am I opening a can of worms, here. The panic was gone this morning, it felt great -
unfortunately, the rest of me felt pretty doggone lousy.
Interesting note, though - when I came home, the panic tried to start again. Could I be afraid of my own home? Since the attacks usually happen at night, when I'm here, is there a connection? I wonder.
Well, last night just about wore me out trying to control these things, but for the most part I (Along with the kind mesages from you all) kept them at bay. If they whomp up on me tonite, don't know If i have the energy to fight them again, though I'll sure try. (The other alternative is no fun at all!!!)
Thaks for the posts and encouragement, and, for those of you that are suffering even as i write - keep your chin up. We can whip this!! All of you are in my thoughts.
Rick
Hiya Rick
I sometimes panic at home when ive been out. Maybe its because when you are out you spend so much energy fending off the panic that when you get home you relax and off it goes. Thats my theory anyway...who knows?
By the way, I love your posts, you may be having panic but you havent lost you sense of humour... keep it up mate!!!
love Sarah
xx
Rick,
Do go easy on the clonazepam. Emergencies only . Effective but addictive. A newer variant in the valium family.
I agree with Sarahs theory on panic infiltrating when you think you're home and dry and this is why night time is common..
What are you finding so exhausting about fighting the panics . What methods are you using ?
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Hi guys
God, its back...
Constant surges of panic attacks, and my tummy is so sick, I can barely breathe. This morning started out so wonderful, even though i was sick with the flu. Not even a twinge of panic, like the attacks had happened to someome else, a long time ago. Laid down to rest, and man, here they came. My poor wife has the flu, she's at work. How can I burden her with this???
Say a prayer or burn a candle for me, friends... I'm having a rough time.
Thanks for listening. I'm going to take a drive. (probably catch Pneumonia, - or as a special little girl used to say to me, a long time ago... I can't go out there!! I'll get ammonia!) I'd trade this fo pneumonia any day - You all know what I mean!!! God love you all, thanks for reading and listening.
Later...
Rick
Hi Rick,
Try and stay calm and focused...dont let it get to you. Just think of how you have felt like this before and managed to cope so well...you can do it again. I too have felt like this over the last few days as you no but I too coped and so can you.
Just sit down and quiet the mind by listening to some calming music and take nice slow breaths. Think positive thoughts and believe me you will begin to relax.
The fact that your feeling under the weather at the moment will not be helping but that too will pass...take care of yourself...just relax the mind.
Keep us posted on how youre feeling. We are all here to help.
Take care
sadie
Hi Rick
Just to say that I've experienced anxiousness because of other symptoms. The flu can make you short of breath and dizzy, two all-time-classic panic stirrers for me. Once I realise that I have a physical underlying problem, the anxiety drops away.
I'm amazed how quickly your doctor recommended drugs when you told him about the panic. It reminded me of the novel Brave New World, where everybody took Soma (a happy pill) in order to keep them happy, content and untroubled. Except, of course, they weren't! I'd be loathe to criticise anyone who turns to the medicine cabinet to get them through the night, but I just can't see any long-term solution in drugs.
As for your home causing the panic, well, I'd hesitate to put that blame there! I had a really bad panic attack once when I was left at home with my new baby son. What if I passed out? What if I passed out at the top of the stairs with him in my arms? What if I suddenly just ran out into the street and fled, leaving him alone and unattended? What if I couldn't cope? But it wasn't the house, my son or my parental responsibilities that were causing the panic. It was me. (It still is!) These days, thankfully, I can control it (myself) better and I hope that you'll find your way soon too.
Jim
Rick
Sing / dance , get a funny TV show, breathe correctly, get out old photos of areally great holiday time and smile, ring a friend and chat about nothing. Distract yourself. Then some exercise followed by a relaxation tape.
Have a fizzy drink, eat something as soon as you can afterwards.
The when it's over sit and write out exactly what happened , where you were, what you'd eaten and drunk today, what you were thinking about/dwelling on , how you felt, what order it all happened in etc
This will pass.
Lots of beautiful and funny thoughts.
Meg
Meg,
your post dropped in just as I was posting my panic note...
Thanks for the warning and caution. The last thing i need is to be a stoner:) (Do they call dope heads that in the UK? - Usually meant for pot heads around here)
Seriously, though - will they put a hold on the attacks, or make them worse. (I'll be so glad when my appointment with the counselor gets here in a few days... I'm so confused - 'course, I was that way before the attacks started. Normal state of mind.)
Again, seriously - reading the med related posts makes me think that anything I take will make anxiety worse before making it better. If this cloniastuff - It's in the loo (see, I'm even learning British!!!) and I can't remember how to spell it - will quell the attacks, that would be great - just some rest would be so nice, which again, makes me wonder if these attacks started with the flu bug. (Do I seem to be going round in circles here??)
Anyway, took a deep breath, quit twinging at least for the moment, and am heading out.
Thanks, all
I appreciate you all so much, especially you Meg, for putting up with my sometimes wayward ramblings to give me sound and needed advice.
Rick
Hiya Rick,
It is a tranquilizer so will calm you down and is very effective but is addictive so only short term or in emergencies.
In my experience with US Docs - take half what they prescribe and see how you go.. if you feel very dopey/spacey then you're taking too much, if it doesn't help at all take the full dose next time .
They will not make panic worse , that's the Anti depressant SSRI family that is used also for anxiety and panic that take a while to settle down as it changes the chemical balance in the brain.
Take care Rick.
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Rick,
Diana here, I do hope you are feeling better soon. I know this is hard , but hopefully when the flu lifts things will be easier to control. Just try your breathing exercises and distraction skills they do work. Keep us posted Rick. Take good care friend.
Diana xoxoxo
I'm back...
Thanks for the prayers and crossed fingers and whatevers, guys. The little monster has crept back to wherever it has been hiding, so we're doing ok now.
I don't know what happened this afternoon - maybe I felt so good this morning, I felt it was over and wasn't prepared for it when it snuck back up behind me and knocked my (literally)holy socks off.
It means so much to me to have a place to come and express my unfathomable fears when these things hit, and to have the encouragement of fellow travellers in this strange little world of ours, who understand as only those who have been there and still are can.
I do apoligize for making such a show over such a relatively small episode, frighteneing though it was, when I think of all my friends (you all)out there who have this thing constantly.
I feel like a big old hairy ex coal mining WEINER!!! (Call someone around here a weiner, and you'll probably get invited out into the parking lot for a little Hillbilly Boxing day!)
So, a little embarassed, but yet grateful man am I. I also know that the night is still young, but my guard is up, so hopefully things will be a little quieter tonite. If not, I'm sure y'all will be hearing from little ol panic stricken weiner me!!:D
I love you all
Rick
Heya Rick,
LOL.... You are soooo funny. You have no reason to apologize, that`s what friends are for, and you Rick are a friend indeed. We love you too, and hope and pray that tonight and every night to follow will get progressively better for you and all of our fellow sufferers. Do take care dear, we look fo,rward to hearing from you again and again and again Well you get the idea. LOL.... :) GOOD NIGHT RICK.
Diana xxxx
Hiya Rick,
Glad it's passed.
Acceptance of 'this is how you are right now' may be something to ponder on.
Panic is not a failing or anything to be embarassed or guilty about any more than getting a cold. (More home made unhelpful emotions).
It 'is just ' and your aim is to have it 'was just ' which you're working very hard towards. Give yourself some credit please.
Come on - what are you doing in your game of chase the monster...
Incidentally , very few panic episodes just disappear after a few days - the usual pattern is lessening of severity - not necessarily frequency to start with - until they fade away.
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Hi guys...
A short one to let you know I'm alive (barely)...
The Flu bug is REALLY whomping on me. My fever got so bad last night, I was shaking the bed,I was shivering so hard. Feel pretty rough this morning. The boogie man has peeped around the corner a few times to see if he can sneak in. Boy I sure hope not. I didn't have to take the clonistuff last night (all was well, thank heavens), But if the attacks show up today, I might have to try them out... Just too whipped to fight real hard, right now. (Sigh...)
Didn't take the antibiotic, either. Chicken that it might trigger an attack, or something. Guess I'd rather be nigh on to death's door than have an attack. (ANYONE out there understand THAT feeling??? Hmm, I thought so!)
Well, all take care, I'll try to check In, see whats going on, and if the Boogie man shows up, no doubt, y'all will hear from ol' weiner man!!!
Love You all ;)
Rick
Hiya Rick,
We all know how you are feeling. You are doing so well though, keep up the great work. I hope this flu bug passses on pretty quick for you. You should really try taking your antibiotic, though so you can beat the flu bug and just concentrate on beating these uninvited guests (PANIC ATTACKS)!!! We are all thinking of you. Do take care, get your rest, get your fluids you know the drill, and as soon as you can do pop on to let us know how you are getting on with your meds and so forth. Hope to hear from you soon.
Take care dear friend,
Love Diana xoxoxo
nomorepanic
30-12-03, 19:18
Hi Rick
Welcome to the site.
I had a couple of days off from posting on this forum to enjoy a relaxing few days and now I am trying to catch up with all the new members.
I have just sat and read this whole thread and I think you are a real character and I would love to meet you one day cos I bet you are a great guy. Some of your posts made me laugh out loud. We would also love to see a picture of yourself for our picture page so email me one if you want us to see what you really look like.
I am sorry to hear about the flu bug - make sure you get lots of fluids in yourself and some extra vitamins to keep your strength up. We have a saying here "feed a cold and starve a fever" so I shan't tell you to eat loads in case there is any truth in this old saying that you should starve it (I could be wrong though). Just make sure you eat some fresh fruit and veg and a nice bowl of hot soup should help.
I am glad you never drank the vodka - you would probably hate the taste and get a hangover from hell the next day if you are not used to it!!
I too get a lot of stomach problems - I once had constant diarrheoa for about 3 months and the doctor just said it was normal with Panic/Anxiety.
I still get a lot of acid indigestion problems and take something called Losec which is marvellous - cures it in a day. Not sure if you can get this over there.
Well, just wanted to welcome you and catch up on all your posts.
Hope you are feeling better now.
Nicola
Hello, world, its weiner man...
Thanks to all for reading and trying to follow the meandrings of this forum. Today has been a little rough... Had one attack while out and about (couldn;t stand staying at home, sick, all by myself), but mainly, and this may sort of answer an earlier question of Megs, I feel exhausted just trying to keep myself prepared for an attack. Geez, what I'd give for my mindset just a week ago, when PA's were the last thing on my mind.
It seems like all I can think about today is, "Get ready, hang in there, oops, there's a twinge, it might be one, deep breath, okay, just a twinge, okay, you're okay, wiggle your fingers, oops, why is my face and head feeling flushed, is it the flu or a PA getting ready to hit..." and on and on and on.
Man, I hate this stuff. It's like having Hemmoroids of the brain...
Ever feel like sitting down and crying? Sure wish I hadn't taught myself how not to cry, cause I could sure use one. My wife is as sick as me, but at least she's lying down asleep (She left work early because she is so sick)... If I laid down, I'd probably get whomped again, and I sure can't bother her with my whining around. Its not fair to her.
***Just re-read what I just wrote. Boy, I'm sure wallowing in the self pit today, aren't I? Sorry, guys, but I'm too beat to even be goofy, which is unheard of for me.
Well, I'm gonna check some other forums, see how my buddies whom I've grown to love in such a short time are doing.
Y'all hang in there.
Rick[:o)]
PS - Meg, is it time try a clonithingy yet???, Or maybe a dose of Nyquil???, Or the emergency clear russian medicine I bought a few days ago??? or, maybe a little....
Love you all!!:)
Its here again...
Don't know how much more of this I can stand... Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Going off line for awhile.
Why, Dear God, why??? I am so afraid, so afraid...
I love you all.
Rick
Hey Rick...
'It seems like all I can think about today is' That's a large part of your trouble- wrong sort of thinking .. This is not man to monster combat here...There are less traumatic and exhausting ways .
Does this click at all with you ?
Take a minute : Is this following statement true ? …..
When your mind is sexually aroused, the body responds in an unmistakable fashion.
This is also true for every other aspect of your thought process...
If you think thoughts that frighten you then you will feel fear
Much of the time we think so quickly we missed the thought - or many people see split second images which shows the end result of a thought.
Here’s one most anxious people can relate to ……. I bend down to pick something up and I do it too quickly- on standing up I feel dizzy.
I would put money on the fact that most anxious people out there will automatically think something like – Oh no , I feel dizzy, maybe if this doesn’t go – I’ll faint and how embarrassing that will be in the middle of the office ,or - who will find me fainted on the floor and when will that be – it could be hours till my wife gets home, or I’ve got to drive 100 miles today I can’t do that feeling dizzy, it’s dangerous- what if I drive off the road and so on…this then moves on to real symptoms of anxiety starting and dribbles of adrenaline being released. Some people may just see an image of themselves sprawled out on the floor and that is enough for the sequence of events to kick in.
What was a simple everyday occurrence of standing up a fraction quicker than our ears and blood pressure can adapt leads to a significant anxiety episode. Then those of us who tend towards obsessive thoughts will not be able to get these thoughts out of our head for minutes , hours , days and even when the dizziness has long past we’re still ‘ what if’ing’ about what might have happened given a huge range of hypothetical situations.
The reality is we should have sat for a minute or two, dismissed it and forgotten all about it and continued with our day
Anxiety needs to be helped from within and supported from without.
My personal interpretation was to ride out a panic – a bit like being on a whitewater raft with yourself in the role as the experienced guide, the water may be rough and there may be some whirl pools ahead but you know where the worst bits are and can steer yourself away from them towards calmer waters. You are in control of the overall trip if not this little segment
There are many versions but they all boil down to the recipe
Notice , observe and allow the feelings
Breathe abdominally
Assess the situation
What started this off ?
Choose positivity
Relax yourself,
Distract yourself
Let time pass
Reassure yourself continually
Congratulate yourself and smile
Another thing to do to is to eat something as soon as possible, either as you start feeling anxious or as soon after as possible. A handful of Nuts and dried fruit goes a very long way. Having a panic attack is a very energy consuming business and it is important to give your body some sustenance immediately.
Real distraction is a really brilliant way of helping yourself. Whilst in the midst of a panic attack you can still function… so do something - either immerse yourself in whatever you should have been doing or if you’re home alone ring somebody – don’t say you’re panicking but just chat away either to a friend , neighbour, colleague. Sing and dance – truly , it works .
Rick, it reads to me that you're rushing and trying to keep steps ahead . Whoa !! It's not a race. Keep yourself busy and occupied and use distraction at this time to help you - like going out for your car ride yesterday .. Relaxation is a huge tool and sleep is so important. I know thats hard right now due to having the cold..
Take care
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habi
Hi Rick,
I feel so much for you right now..I know you are frightened but its only your mind playing tricks with you..nothing bad will happen to you, you need to believe this. We have all experienced what you are right now and we all have got through it..so can you!!
Panic attacks are not dangerous, they are actually sent to protect us...I know that it doesnt feel like it but they are. Our bodies can only handle so much stress and enventually something has to give. Thats were the panic attacks come in..they are trying to warn us that we need to relax and calm down..take care of ourselves. I have now come to realise this and I realise that the way I think and behave plays a big part in why my anxiety is still here 3 yrs on.
You really need to do some relaxation..lie down and relax the mind and body with some deep breathing. Do something, anything just to take your mind of your panic..phone someone if you are alone for a chat..thats what I do and it helps.
I hope you are ok..let us know how you are. I will be thinking about you.
Take care
sadie
I had to come back...
Thanks for hearing me. I know I'm not supposed to be, but I am still so embarrassed to cry out like this.
I'm sitting here about half crying, so maybe that will help, as I write... My wife has wandered in here a few times, shook her head, as if, "he's on there again, no wonder he has no life", (she didn't see my tears, luckily)and went back to bed. This is not a criticism of her. She is as sick as I am.
Let me see if I can figure this out. Meg, Nicola, if its too long and wandering, you can delete it or whatever, I understand. Hate to use up all your bandwidth and memory.
I know what I did to bring on this horrible one I'm fighting right now.
I scared myself to death, and it was totally my fault. The Internet is a great tool, but it can also be a disaster, too. On the one hand, I meet great and caring people like you all, and on the other...
Since I've been having a rough day, I started to think of ways to calm down. I made the joke about if it was time for the booze, meds, or whatever, but it was not really a joke. So, with the absence of anyone else to talk to, I started reserching online the meds available to me here at the house. I've done it before, and got scared then, too. Why do I do it? Because I have no one else to talk to about it. My personal MD, in the past year, has prescribed for me, (Probably knowing I wouldn't take most of them) -
Well, let me go back a bit, to understand why he'd prescribe stuff for me. Had terrible inlaw troubles for the past 18 months, about drove me REALLY nuts... Unbelieveable amounts of stress from that, good old hillbilly holler drama, just like on daytime TV. I stuffed it all inside, had to. In august, my sis, who lives in Texas, and whom I had the utmost respect and regard for, (She's just the opposite of me - Honor society, summa cum laude, nurse specialist, medical missionary to Mexico for a couple of years, she's just as straight as a string) - Well, we had a SLIGHT misunderstanding, and she hurt me deeply (and, lets call a spade a spade, I'm certainly not spotless in it, either), and are since estranged. THEN, My wonderful supevisor at work fell in his garage and hurt his back, off work since August, so we got assigned the most obnoxious bozo in the plant as our boss.
I don't mean to be tawdry, but have you ever had a huge pimple on your butt, and had to sit for a long time?? That's my boss. Just a royal pain in the ass. Also this guy is dumber than a box of rocks. We repair and maintain multi million dollar pieces of equipment, (as I've said before, I'm an industrial electrician, and a pretty darn good one too, if I say so myself.[8D] This guy doesn't know the difference between a lightbulb and a lavatory. So, we (all of us in my crew, a great bunch of guys, BTW) have had to put up with that.
Then, our Union contract was ready to expire, and the company basically said, accept our new offer, or we'll close the plant - and of course, the first thing all of these kids on the production floor did was to vote down their final offer. (They ain't gonna tell US what to do, they'd say.) My job pays quite well, and us old timers felt it was just a matter of time before we were all out on the street, heading for the breadline. This went on from september to the first of december. Talk about stress!! Luckily everybody came to their senses and signed off on an agreement, but its not as good as what we had, so It'll probably be rough when we go back to work on the 5th.
(For those of you not dozing, yet, here's where we get back on the panic theme)
Any way, my doc, a young guy, likeable as all getout, has fallen into the general mold of MDs probably worldwide. When I first started going to him, his practice was small, and he had all the time in the world to talk to you about anything. Now, his practice is huge, (because he's so good), and its, take this and see me in six months. (a rush appointment may get you in in a couple of weeks)
So, Ive had terrible tummy trouble from all this stres
Hey Rick,
Firstly , nothing on here gets zapped ( unless its illegal or immoral )and we don't pay by the line for server space ( do we Nic lol) so use as much or as many as you like. So stop the guilt and the low self esteem bits - just for a bit . We'll work on those later.
A good soppy love song CD finally turned on the tears for me - a walk in your woods may be needed with a portable CD player. You do not need to be strong or tough - suprise you too have human emotions and that goes from overjoyed to deep sorrow . tears are affiliated with all extreme emotions - they are the pressure cooker effect, when you're about to blow a gasket they release some steam and eases it all.
Get Vit B complex 50 mg tabs . Will make you pee neon yellow before that freaks you out too. If you smoke add a Vit C complex too.
With no gall bladder you need to watch your nutrition and fat intake - are you on top of that ??
You may be reading all we've written but which bits - apart from Vit B intention have you started doing ??????
You have indeed had and will continue to have lots of stress provoking things happen which have contributed . You will need to look after yourself now before you get better.
I'm glad you've recognised you caused this bout of panic. You probably talked yourself into the previous few too ..
Take really good care of yourself thee next few weeks Rick .
Can you share all this with your wife ? Sick or not - it's good talk time if you're both off work and home together
Oh and anxiety does not turn into psychotic illnesses. Different disease process. Sideeffects of meds can very rarely cause a one off side effect of halluciations etc.
Only you can decide on the med thing.
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Hi Rik,
Firstly I am so glad that you are feeling a bit better now..sometimes its good just to have a good cry and let all the stress out.
Secondly, despite feeling really panicky and not yourself, you certainly havent lost your sense of humour. You had me in fits reading your last message...
(In a good way..I promise...I was laughing with you and definetly not at you)
You have learned today that it does you no favours by reading about the side effects etc of medication. It just makes you worry and panic even more..I too have done that in the past and have came to realise it does much more harm than good. The more knowledge you know about health symptoms and diseases etc then more fuel you add to the panic monster.
I hope you get a good nights sleep..and wake up feeling a lot more calmer ...
Take care
sadie
hello,again rick,
ime a paramedic,living,and working in london...we have a saying..a little knowledge,is worse than none...when you visit your doctor,always go armed,with a list of your symptoms,and your worries...as you walk into his/her surgery,and you see them pick up a prescription pad,tell them to put it away,until youve finished talking...if he/she gives you a script,dont leave there surgery,until you have asked the following questions.
1/. what are they for.
2/. how will they help my condition.
3/. how long,before they start to work.
4/. how will i feel in the meantime.
5/. wot are,if any,the side effects.
6/. would you take them yourself (look at there eyes)
as meg says rick,your thought processes are currently up the spout..positive thoughts,not negative...and take little steps...your get there my friend,your a tough guy,and you will overcome this intrusion into your life...best wishes..bryan.
Hi all
Thanks for your king replies and the patience to read thru that dissertation.
Meg, I PROMISE I will answer your what else am i doing questions soon. We just got a little distracted this afternoon. (Boy, did we ever!) You're wearing me out gal. You're just too great.
Sadie, You are so cool. You're right, I am my own worst enemy right now. If i could, I'd put parental controls on this aol account and block everyhting relating to meds, psychosis, schitzos, axe murderers, and all the other crap that came across my screen this afternoon (mostly at my proddng). Unfortunately, I am the master member, so it wouldn't work. I know the passwords. Seriously, though, I'm gonna try SO hard not to EVER do that again.
Benoo, brother, you hit the nail on the head with a vengeance. Refusing to leave the DRs office until he tells you everything? Wonderful idea that never occurred to me. Over here (and probably in the UK, too), we are taught to look upon MDs as Gods, and do whatever they say without question.
I think that'll change, at least for this ol' boy. thanks.
And thanks again for all the thoughts prayers, and whatevers. It helps. You're in mine, too.
Now, I'm gonna soak for a while (I'm freezing) and then try to find someting that will stay down if I eat it. Maybe we should have dropped a bomb or two of this flu stuff on Saddam. He'd have surrendered in a heartbeat, no battles, blood, or mayhem - just a lot of coughing, pooping and barfing!
Later!
Rick
Heya Rick,
I hope you have gotten some rest,fluids and nutrition in yourself. I have read your last couple of posts. I was also laughing out loud. Funny how you are having such a rough time of it, but still find a very quirky way to describe your situation, and make our hearts a little lighter with your humor. Don`t beat yourself up over this, we all have been there and know what you are going through. I know it is terribly frightening, but you just have to remember you have been here before, and you SURVIVED!!!!! and you will again. I love your posts, just as everyone else does here, please keep them coming, and soon I hope to hear that your are feeling better and doing much better. Whatever you do, DO NOT!!!! get back online to research any meds or anything that you know is going to affect you negatively. We are all here for you Rick, you are such a sweetheart. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Don`t worry about the psychos, schitzos, axe murderers, and cereal killers. Someone else will do that. You just take care of Rick for right now. If you need any help or suggestions or just need to vent. Pop on someone is always here, just remember that okay. You sit yourself down and have you a real good cry, that will certainly lift some of the stress you are feeling. Put you a real sad ol CD or tape on, I actually get a real good cry from the song "THAT`S MY BABY" I`m not sure who sings it and I`m not even sure of the correct name, but I know it`s Country and the singer is speaking about his Mom through out the song till toward the end she`s dying and the family calls him to get to her bedside before it`s to late, he gets there but is late, he says she looks as if she was sleeping and he kissed her on her cheek I believe and then he cried "JUST LIKE A BABY". Which really reminds me of my grandma because she finally lost her battle with emphysema (not sure of the spelling) in 2001, I was out of the country at the time she took really ill, and my dad and her by way of phone kept asking when I would be home. I could`nt get a flight out till the actual day I was scheduled to leave. That was the most excited I was ever to be home. I of course rushed straight away to the hospital to see her. Boy did she look bad, she was my best friend, needless to say she passed on that very next morning about 2:00 am, as I sit here typing this it still feels so very fresh in my heart the loss I feel, that spot in my heart she holds is ever soooo strong still. I`m balling like a baby right now myself. God I really miss her!!!!!! I know I got right off of where I was going with this, now I`m crying. I know I`m rambling on, but Rick you get the idea. Just take care of yourself, and get those vitamins they help a bunch. Keep us posted on how you`re doing.
Love,
Diana xoxoxo
Happy new year, all!
New years morning. Made another one, didn't we??
I didn't post yeaterday, had to leave it all alone. (Anyone understand?) On Tuesday nite, I just had get some sleep, so took 1.2 of an ambien. It did its usual work, hammered me good (which was good). Slept for about three hours till the wife and I started waking wach other between fever break sewats and hacking bouts. She had to got to work yesterday, so as soon an she left, I took the other 1/2 ambien. Slept like a rock for three hours. I didn't realize how tired I was. You know, sometimes, meds ARE necissary... (Ambien is a sleeping pill). When I woke up, almost refreshed for the first time in a week, I decided to swallow the pride and righteous indignation and called my estranged sis in Texas. We talked for 2 hours. All is well and forgiven, on both sides. It was great.
Fairly quiet day, never left the house, still can barely eat anything.
Interesting thing last night, though. I planned to take 1/2 ambien to sleep last night, but held off as late as possible, since we wanted to see the ball drop, and all. About 10pm, I took my 50 dose of B complex, (third night of it), took a couple of Ibuprofen, then settled down in front of the tube. All of a sudden, my tummy started making the most amazing noises (Wife could hear them clear over in her chair, thought it was the dog growling at someone), and then the poo bunny came to see me with a vengeance!!!
Afterward, I started feeling tingly - not a bad feeling, just kind of like i had a lot of internal energy (does that make sense?). I was wide awake, not uncomfortable, but, feeling a little strange, face a little flushed, stuff like that. The ball dropped, the world rolled on, and it was time for bed. Took the 1/2 ambien, and it never even showed up. Laid in bed til 3:30am, thought, I've gotta sleep, dug out the other 1/2 ambien (Just so you will know, a whole pill is a full dose. 1/2 of a dose has always worked quite nicely before, Wait a few minutes, calming effect, then, BAM hit the sheets!)
Well, Got up (couldn't stand lying still any longer) came in my office, and started workning on my mining research. 5:00 am- I'm STILL wide awake. Thought, well, heck, the worst that can happen is I'll have a panic attack and go crazy, but I gotta sleep, so took ANOTHER 1/2! Laid on the couch, eventually dozed 10 min here and there. The wife woke up around 8:30, fixed breakfast, (which was hard to eat, as usual, for the past flu days...).
So, still awake, probably gonna take a drive somewhere. (I havent been out of the house except to refill the bird feeders since tuesday evening), so I'm a little stir crazy. (Has nothing to do with panic - just don't like being cooped up).
Anyone have an idea of what happened last night? I will admit to doing aome VERY VERY mild surfing on the web, but was EXTREMELY careful not to go where I could scare myself - did wind up in front of the bathroom mirror, that was pretty scary,:D)
On some of the tame vitamin sites, I did discover that high amounts of B vitamins can cause insomina. I realze they are probably talking about folks taking half a jug of them, but, since I haven't been eating (Lost about 10 lbs in the past 4 days), I've never taken a supplement like this before, and my metabolisim has to be just totally fouled up from this bug (everybody I talk to says I'm about halfway thru it. It sticks around for a 10 - 12 day run after symptoms appear, in mose cases. That's encouraing...[xx(]) Could this B complex have caused this? I mean ,something did, and the only other thing I took all day was Ibuprofen.
Well, I'm hoping whatever it is will wear off, 'cause it's starting to wear on me, I'm tired, and I can't sleep.
Well, gonna go. Anybody have any ideas, let me know! And, even though I wasn't here yesterday, all of you were in my thoughts and prayers, especially you guys and gals who have given me so much engouragement and insight.
Love you all,.
Rick
Dear Rick,
I've always taken it in the morning but have not heard of insomnia with Vit B although it can increase energy levels. High amounts are 150mg day + but perhaps if were really low on it, it may have done. Try it in the am preferably with food though. Are you peeing neon yellow yet ?
It may have been toxins from your virus coming out causing the tummy upset.
Glad to hear about reconciliation with sister.
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Thanks, Meg.
Love you a bunch. Thanks for coming back so quick.
I dunno... I just got really wired last night, and it won't wear off. probably, like you said, something from this bug... Should I lay off it (the B)for a day or two, see what happens? (I don't know where, but when I started the B complex, I could've swore I read somewhere to take it at nite.) If it did give me the gentle but unsleeping rush I got last nite, I can see where it would be good in the mornings. Like I said, I didn't feel panicky or anything - just couldn't sleep, like I had TOO much energy.
Make any sense??
Well, I have absolutely no business on the roads, but I'm gonna bundle up, warm up the ol' ford explorer, and go sit on a mountain top somewhere. Its cold but sunny here, so as long as I don't get out in the weather and keep the heater on, I'll be ok. My hills and mountains are my most precious safe place, a place I don't visit near enough anymore.
Take care, and Good New Year to you!
PS - on a totally off the wall note - does AMYONE have the same problem typing as me? Everytime I go for the apstrophe, I get the semi-colon. Don;t, didn;t,isn;t, ain;t, aren;t...
XO
Rick
PS to the last message - Yellow as a fresh gourd!!!
Rick
hi rick,
i have a paper on vitamins,which i use for research,and i think you have miss read something along the line....lack of vitamin B, can cause insomnia,but it can increase energy levels,so i wouldnt take at nite,and its not a good idea to take them,on an empty stomach,take with,or shortly after food.
yes,i have a manky keyboard,as well as you,so i have to work around it...best wishes..bryan.
nomorepanic
01-01-04, 18:26
Hi Rick
Just got round to reading all your posts. You are indeed a very funny man and you make me laugh too with your posts. You remind me of Charlie (Lottie) who posts in here - she has the same way of telling a story that you do.
I am glad to hear about the reconciliation with the sister - that must be a load off your mind.
I too am terrible at reading up about stuff on the Internet and I usually end up not taking the medication cos of what I read about it.
I recently cracked a rib and it was very painful so I was prescribed strong pain-killers. I read the leaflet that came with them and from what the pharmacist said I decided not to take them cos the side-effects were too much for me to bear.
I am currently taking medication for a high blood pressure and they are the cause of my relapse in June this year cos of the side-effects. I also read up on the Internet that they can cause kidney failure which the doctor did check for after a few weeks of me being on them.
What I am saying is that you can read too much about medication and then you believe that you will get all the side-effects and they could make you worse.
On one other note though I do need to point this out - a doctor that I occasionally see when mine is unavailable prescribed me some medication for a small cyst I had. When I got home I read the leaflet that came with it and as I was just about to take one and couldn't resist reading the side-effects. It said that it was not to be taken if you are allergic to Penicillin and guess what - I AM. I daren't even think what could have happened if I had taken one. The doctor obviously didn't check my notes. So, do check some things about your medication or at least ask someone else to read the leaflet for you.
I do hope you are feeling a lot better today and I hope that you can see 2004 as your year to start a new life and get over these terrible problems. You know you can do it.
As for long posts on here then please go ahead. There is no limit to the amount of space we have and no bandwidth problems. The site is hosted by a friend of Alex's (my partner) so we will just pay him more if we need to but Alex says we are nowhere near our limits yet. This whole forum is only 8Mb in size and we have 1 Terrabyte of disk space.
Happy New Year to you Rick and keep those funny posts coming.
Nicola
Hiya Rick,
Congratulations on the reconciliation with your sis. That should relieve some of the stress you were feeling. Like everyone else mentioned, you should definitely take the Vitamin B in the morning, because of the energy boost it can give you. I always take mine in the morning, after breakfast, but have noticed if I am not active during the day, in the evening I can become quite anxious. Which I believe is from the Vitamin B, and not getting in enough activity to wear it off. I think???? :) You seem to be doing a bit better, except for the bug symptoms, good for you!!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of you. Let`s beat this thing this year, or atleast try like h*ll doing it. :) Rick, you do have such a humorous way with telling a story. I love that in a person, because I love to laugh!!!! Well take care Rick and keep those stories and posts coming. We love them, everyone of them. Take care all.
Love,
Diana xoxoxo
Back From the Mud Bog...
HI, guys, made it out of the woods (barely). The trip up Slaughters Creek wasn't too bad, the coal mines are all on holiday and so I wasn't dodging 80,000 pound monsters charging down the haulroads at me. Had stopped at a local store (Krogers for us in the USA) got some bottled water, trail mix, granola bars, and, most importantly, Little Debbie Nutty Bars!!!) Do y'all have nutty bars in the UK?? If not, you need to complain to the Minister of Import & Trade (or whatever), and have him tote some over there. You'll laik them an' they'll laik You!!!
Anyway, feeling really tired and achy but good to be out, I stopped at the Dawes Mountain cemetery on top of the ridge (Remember this place is out in the middle of nowhere - Just coal mines, pot growers, deer, and the occasional black bear are all you ever see.) anyway, set up my laptop with the GPS unit and topo map program running. (Exploring at its finest!!! How did Sir Francis Drake and those guys do it?)
Drove though the mud to a new 989 foot deep airshaft that had just been put in service, snuck around, took pictures, then headed back around the NO TRESSPASSING sign. Always wondered what they meant?....
Well, headed down a hill, hit a patch of mud in a curve going downhill which was banked toward the dropoff (I'd guess 250-350 feet to the bottom, depending on how many trees you hit first on the way down). When I felt the tires break away, Honest to God, the first thing I thought of were my buddies here on the web. "Now, THIS is a panic attack!!!" Actually said it out loud, too. But it was a good one. Been doing that harebrained stuff all my life and still enjoy the thrill. This one WAS really hairy, though. Couldn't get any tire purchase at all. (I've got one of the few Manual transmission Explorers around, got it just for being in the woods like this.) Did a most amazing series of engaging 4WD, shifting gears, slinging mud 40 feet into the air...
Obviously , I made it, else I would STILL be trying to climb that bank.
So, what does that have to do with this site??? Well, we go on...
I started to get really tired, so made my way back to the Dawes Cemetery, called the wife on the cell to let her know I was alive, then took a rest. The weather had started to get bad, and it was sprinkling rain. (The sun was out when I started) Headed off the mountain , started to have the urge to tinkle (that's pee, to the uninitiated) Well, I was planning to stop at the McDonalds once I got back to civilization, so, instead of doing the normal manly man thing in the woods, I kept driving. The urge kept growing. As i was about 10 miles from the small town that has the Mickey D's, the pain was terrilble, and no place to pull over - and, guess what?
BAM, panic attack, major one, right there. It was a really bad one, too. And, what was worse, though I can laugh about it now, is that i couldn't do any deep breathing, 'cause it hurt sooo bad. Thought I'd never get there. Flew into the bathroom, took care of things, and tried to compse myself. It was horrible. For the first time, I had one of those road attacks you all have described, as if I would have to get someone to take me home, I could'nt drive, - I could barely breathe! Those of you with car fears, I take off my hat to you, its a terrible thing. And I was still 35 miles from home.
Just about ran out the door while waiting on my 6 piece McNuggets. Took them to the car (NO WAY was I gonna sit in McDonalds in Smithers, West Virgina, and let them see me go crazy. No sir, If I'm gonna go crazy, I'll do it in the sanctitiy of my car. And, so I did, sort of.
Took one bite of the McNugget, about barfed, then started crying, all the time looking frantically out my windows to make sure no one was in the parking lot watching this big, hairy guy in a mud covered explorer go off over a lousy Chicken McNugget.
As i said in an earler post, I had buried the hatchet with my sis, and one thing she said, was - if you have an attack, and need to talk, call
My God Rick....
I take my hat off to you....driving up the mountains and forests were there are BEARS and nearly rolling off the edge of a cliff....there is no way I would have been able to pull myself together and drive back home. You should be really proud of yourself for coping with that..
Its so great that you and your sister are now talking...lifes too short not to keep in contact with close members of the family...at atleast she was there to help you when you needed the support!!
As for taking meds..well if you feel that they help calm you down when you feel at your worst, then I think thats that ok...Im kind of anti-drugs myself, as you will know after my Xmas medication problems, but I think everyone is different. You do what you feels best for you and we will help you cope no matter what.
Im glad you havent lost your touch on the story telling,lol.
Take care
sadie
do you know rick,as i was reading your post,i could actually visualise,your every moment,your a very good desriptive writer,and its very enjoyable reading.
well,you had a real bad panic,miles from home,but didnt you do well,wot you did required a lot of guts,and you came through it...but you know,wot you have to do,when you come off a horse..you have to get back on,and so,as soon as possible rick,get back out in your car,breath in some of that air,and show it whos boss,easy for me to say..its you thats got to do it,and i know you will.
as for medication..thats a personal choice...no harm in keeping some xanax,as an emergency bandage,so to speak...keep us posted matey..best wishes..bryan.
Hi every one.
First - Meg, you're very perceptive woman. You're right. (You know what I mean...) Thanks for being able to see it.
Went to see the new counselor today. I was somewhat nervous, 'cause you never know what kind of character you may wind up with - and, we ALL know there are some REAL doozies out there.
Well, met this fellow, and let me tell you, it was wonderful, an answer to prayers. In his kind, gentle way, he gave me insights that I hadn't even realized until it sunk in after a bit. He's a man who truly knows his profession, and has a kindness and gentleness about him that was absolutely amazing.
As to the meds (xanax) - bandaid use, only. Since I've had this before, and we pretty much identified what's behind the attacks now (again, you're pretty insightful, Meg) we feel we can overcome this and move on. Its a wonderful feeling to have a professional who instills such peace and hope on you. I know there will still be rough days, for the PA monster will not go down without a vicious figh. I've been there, I know. But, with the help of you wonderful folks on this site, my counselor, and (Finally) looking at certain issues head on, ther is finally a light at the end of the tunnel - a small one, perhaps, but still, a light, nonetheless.
BTW, told him about this site, and what an unbelievable lifesaver it has been for me. He appeared to be impressed, told me to keep it up (working with you all on the site). Of course, now if he looks it up, reads all my posts, he'll know the truth about St. Wierner man!!. Hmmm, might be a different sort of meeting next week, then:D
Sadie, if you and yours ever come to the states, I'll show you all some FUN!!! If you saw some of the pictures of places i've been stuck, hanging over the edge of hills, and generally maniacial (is that a word???) things I have done in the woods, you'd die - and love it, too. Plowing thru the woods is something us hillbillies learn to do at an early age, and it is truly a BLAST romping arond the woods on these old roads. Y'all come on over and try it sometime!!!
Also, the bears are hibernating right now, so I didn't see any yesterday. What we have around here are black bears, generally not as big as what you see in films and stuff. Its pretty cool to come up on them in the woods (while in the truck, of course). Trust me, they're more secared of us than we are of them - well, most of the time, anyway...:)
Take care, all and remember, I love and care for you all.
Rick
Hey Rick,
I didn't know that you were off to see a counsellor today, must have been a lot to swallow, first me by email then him in person..
I did an Outward Bound course for 3 weeks in the Canadian Rockies and we had to do 48 hrs solitary in single biviwacs. It was bear country. I heard them mainly and some people saw them in the distance - but it passed without incident. Whew..
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Hey Rick,
I join just today, but i have been suffering from panic attacks since i was 16 i learnt to control them by realising the symptoms and talking my self through it.. it took a long time but finaaly one day i realised they were not as bad..
last week they started again but they werent the same symptoms so i got myself in such a state, i did the same ritual that stop them before but it was alot harder they where so much more intense, but i aslo think it was the fear of knowing they were back, you start asking the questions why, what has brought this on and the feeling of going through it all again is sickening in itself...
I completely understand your situation but all i can say is think of all the things that a wonderful in your life, when an attack comes on i lye on the floor with my legs on the couch it good for the circulation of blood, take nice steady breaths and think of something that makes you feel happy and safe.
Try to learn to meditate, ive also just started reiki it is a wonderful way to help you to the core of your attacks aslo helps you to relax......
I hope this was some help...im using these techniqes again and it is helping....
Take care of your self
Lauren
hi lauren,
that was a great post...your methods of letting the panic pass,and also your experiences of reiki,are much too interesting to be tucked away here...if you get the time perhaps you can do a new post,so that more people can get the benefit of your experiences,best wishes..bryan.
nomorepanic
02-01-04, 18:34
Rick
Wow what a day you have had! Sounds like a lovely place to go for some peace and quiet but I bet you weren't counting on the panic attack.
Well you did great to survive and you got home in one piece. Make sure you soon get back out there again just to prove to yourself that you can do it again with no panic.
Sorry to hear about the row with the wife - I hope you have made up now.
Great news about the new doc as well - sounds like he will be of some help for your recovery.
Hope you are feeling better tonight?
Nicola
nomorepanic
02-01-04, 18:35
Lauren
There is a separate post for Reiki - perhaps you could add something on there about it. I used to go but not for over 3 years now.
Nicola
Hi Everyone,
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!!! What exactly is REIKI? I have never heard of it. Where do you go to learn of this? WOW!!!! Rick you have had a time of it have`nt you? I do hope you and your wife are better now. Good for you coming out of the situation on top though. KUDOS!!!!! :) I would have been terrified, I probably would have did #1 and #2 on myself.LOL..... if found myself in the same perdicament(check spelling).I have been having GAD here lately, not sure why though? Trying to relax and all that, but atleast not full blown panic. Take care all, keep posting.
Diana xxxx
nomorepanic
02-01-04, 21:18
Diana
There is some info on my website about it - www.nomorepanic.co.uk/reiki.htm
xx
Nicola
Hi, Lauren!
Welcome to the site. I know what you are feeling... Boy, do I EVER. As you may have read, My attacks lay dormant for about 15 years, then came back. I think that, as you say, that makes it so much - not so much, say, harder, but perhaps scarier - because feelings of being "Normal" just a few short days ago are so near in our memories. (Not that I've EVER been totally normal - nor would I want to be! :) (That would be pretty boring...))
The thoughts of swirling back down that path are almost too much to bear when these attacks strike, as I know all too well - but, you know, as these kind folks here on the site and elsewhere have repeatedly pointed out, we whipped it once, we can do it again.
Why at the holiday season??? Perhaps a sense of loss from something, or wishing(or missing)the way things once were, or some deeply buried personal issues... These are things which, unfortunately, only you can discover... But, on the VERY positive up side of things, while you make this journey, you have wandered onto (or perhaps been directed to) this site, which is full of extemely caring and wonderful people like yourself, who understand this monster, as I call it, as no one else can.
I have never personally met any of the folks on this site, and, sadly, perhaps never will - but, at night, before I retire, I thank God for the wonderful folks on this site and ask his care be on them. (Not trying to be all holy and righteous here, 'cause I couldn't if I tried!!![:I]) It's just the honest sincere way I feel about these folks here, and the love - yes, love I feel for these fellow travellers. Stick around, and you'll see what I mean.
Plus, you'll be able to keep up with the a (mis)adventures of Weiner man!!!:D
Love, Rick
Hello, friends.
The jaws of hell opened on me yesterday.
Sounds pretty dramatic, doesn't it? Unfortunately, the jaws of hell did open on me. Things had been going so well the past three days. No panic attacks, some anxiety, nothing to really bother me - and then, wham.
My dear friends, I'm honestly surprised that I'm here and able to write you. It was that terrible. For those of you who have followed the trail or Rick, Weiner man, and the Whacko chasing cats with a shovel [:I] (PS Nick, finally saw you're pic in the photo secton. Hey you're FINE. Heck, were I an available man I'd take you berry picking up Paint creek and watch the sun set... )(Back to the thread)you all know that I was to start back to work today after two week holiday shutdown. Also, I would be working for our new boss, the one you all may remember as the pimple on the butt (bum in uk?) that won't go away, plus some strict new work rules. etc.
The anxiety began that morning, early. I used our techniques to block it, and was moderately succesful. Afer all, I knew going back to work with these new changes would stresful, but I felt i could handle them. As the day wore on, the anxiety became worse. I countered with going to town, getting my oil changed, and doing a few other chores before work. It seemed to calm the monster a bit.
Well, packed my lunch, went to the plant. The anxiety was almost a physical presence. I recieved my work assignments, which weren't bad, got on my little maintenance buggy, and headed out into the plant.
As I did my work, the anxiety got progressively worse. My tummy hurt so bad, felt distended, as if it were full of wet dough, or something.
Somewhere along the line, the anxiety crossed into panic. Thougth I was gonna die. I made an excuse to head down into the basement (not a real basement, but long alleyways about 500 feet in lengh apiece, which hold the bases of these massive machines, their piping, and loads of electrical wiring.
It was all i could do as to not run down the first bay to the 3line-4line service alleyway. Went in there, unbeleivealbly noisy (About 98- 100+ decibels). No one around, so i walked, and walked, back anbd forth.... Began to sing old hymns, aloud, though I knew very few. Didn't work. About 7:00pm, Made the decision to do 1/2 xanax, real scary at the plant. Later, took the other half. It's a wonder I didn't electrocute myself, but I was as cartful as I could possibly be. By 9:15, I was relatively calm, just thorougly exhasuted. Went home, all was well, and, while in the SHOWER, for pity's sake, had the worst panic attack I have EVER experienced.
How I stayed from being committed or possibly hospitalised, or worse, not being able to take it anymore. It was Terrible, I repeat, Terrible.!
Nothing worked. I knew I was gonna have to wake my wife, have her take me to the nut house. Horrible,horrible feeling, Finally, gave in, took my ambien sleep pill - but it didn't faze the attack.
Surely the most horrible night ever seen in this house. I paced the floor, between my "office" and the kitchen, back and forth, wondering, pleading, all the time trying to hold out just a little longer. But it wouldn't go away. Finally, I took another 1/2 of xanax (my supply is getting VERY low. had only a few to start with amyway, but figured if I was gonna be nuts or crazy or dead or whatever, it didn't matter. So, I took my little 1/2er and, either it allowed the ambien to kick in or whatever, and I finally began to calm down. IN a few minutes I was barely able to navigate, which was fine by me. Went to bed and slept like a rock.
Woke up, told the wife about what had happened. She was supportive, though her questions tended to be, "What is it about me that is causing these attacks? Should I leave? Is my job causing you a lot of stress?" and such, though the questions were asked in a nice way.
I called the service of my new counselor, talked to the nice lady there. My counsellor isn't in till 11 today,
Hiya Rick,
Sorry to hear that you are having a bad time again. It happens to the best of us. Don`t beat yourself up over it. We are all here to support you and each other. We have all been there at some point in time. It is a terrible, terrible feeling this is true, but atleast now you don`t have to do it alone, you have friends. Keep posting to let us know how you are getting on. If you need your meds to help get you through the hard times that is okay. We all need to do what we need to do to get us through the worst times. Take care Rick. Keep those posts coming.
Love,
Diana xxxxx
hello my friend,
you write so descriptively,i felt i was there,suffering alongside you.
i dont suffer panic attacks,so ime going to advise you,as i would my own brother...ask your doctors view on prescribing mild beta blockers..they will lower your blood pressure,and slow your heart rate.
perhaps a short course of ante-depressants might also help,whilst seeing a councellor.
read as much as you can on here about breathing techniques..about distraction techniques.
go to www.panic-attacks.co.uk ....they give you a free online course,lasting 15mins,explaining panic,and great advice,on avoiding attacks.
hope this helps..best wishes..bryan.
HI Rick,
Sorry you had such a bad day at work..but we all have had days like that before. What you have to realise is that you will have good and bad days until you actually can control your PA. What will eventually happen is you will notice you have less bad and more good days!!
Keep up with the counselling and dont beat yourself up if you need to take some meds..thats fine too. Eventually you wont feel you need to take them that often as things get better for you..and they WILL get better for you.
Take care and keep in touch
sadie
Hello rick,
Back again i went away to edinburgh it was lovely..but cold.
It did me some good to get away from the normal routine..
Im sorry to hear that it has been bad for you..
Do you get away much? times to relax?
Lauren
Hi guys..
Just quick note to all of my friends (Meaning every one on this site) to let you know I'm hanging in there. You all are some wonderful people, and I truly don't know how I could have survived the past two weeks without you and your kind, caring words.
After a horrible monday, we made it thru yesterday fairly well. Today is going pretty decent, so far, be heading out to work shortly. Colder than all sin here, though. minus 8f wind chill factor, have to look that up to see what it is in celsius, - bottom line, its COLD!!! Just walking outside is enough to knot you up and make you feel you're having a PA!!!:)
Meg, thanks for reminding me that this is something you can't just physically meet head on, whip, and forget about. It's something that struck a real chord in me, and I feel it is something that all the folks on here (Including me)need reminded of. It IS hard for me to confront something that refuses to meet me face to face. Thanks for reminding me of that, again.
I love to read posts by you all when you mention places over there, such as Lauren mentioning Edinburgh, Bryan talking about London, the different stores and all... Guess it tugs me back to my family heritage, who left your fair land about six generations ago to come here for a better life (And wound up working in the coal mines - Guess the grass ISN'T always greener on the other side...)
To be with you as we struggle with this monster, it really humbles me (And I could sure use some humbling:D) to know that we, all across the globe, are truly alike, with the same problems, difficulties - and most importantly, a true love of fellow man, and a willingness to help total strangers.
I love you one and all.
Rick
Hiya Rick,
Glad to hear you are feeling much better now. Your post tugged at a heart string for me, brought a bit of a tear to my eye. How true, all over this great world there are people just like us going through the same thing we are dealing with. The only disadvantage they may have is never finding the folks we have found here. It is sooo comforting to know that you guys are out there wherever you may be, and like Rick said help a stranger, though in some way I believe we are all somewhat of soulmates, meant to know each other on this level because of all of our sufferings. Just wanted to let you all know how I am feeling about all of you here. Great folks for bad times!!!!!! and our good times as well, no matter how few they may seem to be at times. Rick keep up the good work, hope you continue to progress, I know you will with these wonderful people here. So keep posting, we love "THE WEINER MAN MISADVENTURES" LOL...... :). And to all of you here, may God bless us one and all this new year. Take care all.
Love,
Diana xoxoxo
Hi guys..
For those who have been following me, You may have noticed me not being here much. I guess it could be called going thru the refiners fire, and, so I'm just working thru a lot of things.
Just wanted to remind all of you how much I love you and respect you. You are such a wonderful, wonderful group of fellow humans. I think of you all often, and hope things are going well for you. Take good care of Meg, she's an angel. Bryan, we have to meet someday, talk deep subjects then go chase ambulances, or something. Diane, Sarah, Nick... all of you, and even those of you I don't know, or have come aboard since the adventures of weiner man took place, I know I love you all too. Any one who takes time to help his or her fellow man deserves the utmost respect and love for that.
Take care, and Hang in there!!!
Rick (Weiner Man)
Heya Rick,
Good to hear from you good buddy.I was wondering what happened to ya. Thank you sooo much for the sweet kind words, you are a sweetheart. Hope all is well with you I know you are working on some things but don`t forget about us. Keep posting we love your light hearted stories. Take care, and be good to yourself.
Love,
Diana xxxxx
Hi, Diana and friends
Things have not been going good. Its 2am, and I feel terrible. I've been trying so hard to overcome the monster, but I think he's got my number. Friday wasn't a bad day at all, - In fact, it was one of the best days I had had. Today - It got so bad that I called the behavioral med unit at one of the hospitals, asking if I could be admitted. They told me to come to the ER, and they would have a psyche resident evaluate me. I didn't care if they locked me up. I just need some relief. I had to take 2 .25 xanax's today, one during a horrible attack this morning,an attack so horrible that I must admit the bad thing may have crossed my mind. Things eased up a bit. However, felt very anxious all day today. The wife decided we needed some fun, so rented a couple of funny DVDs. While watching the first, another tremendous attack struck me, a true floorwalker. (This attack was not related to the movie. we had jsut eaten. A true tummy induced attack, which is where the worst ones come from) That was I called behavioral med.
I begged my wife to take me in (With the full xanax, I was in no shape to drive, especially with the ground covered in snow and the temperature hovering at 8 degrees F. Its bitter cold here.
THe attack more or less abated, but I'm left with a fuzzy head and a teribble sick tummy. My tummy has been torn up (with acutal pain) all day today. Perhaps that is what is causing the anxiety right now. In fact, I know it is. I took my 1/2 ambien sleeping pill, in hopes that it will cut thru this boiling anxiety coming from my stomach and let me sleep. If it would, perhaps the pattern of a good day after a bad will reemerge, and tomorow will be good. Doesn't look like it will right now, though.
I apologoze to all of you out there who are trying to do this without meds,and who are having success. I truly wish you well, but I am ready to strike my colors. If I could have gotten to behavoral med tonight, I probably would have said the magic words that get you a guaranteed 48 hour stay (Bryan and Meg, I'm sure, know what they are), and just let them load me up with whatever. I just don't want to face this anymore, feel the constant burn of my stomach as it produces gallons of acid. (Tacky but pertinent fact - I've been passing so much acid out of my rear, my cheeks and surrounding area are blistered and bleeding.) No wonder I hurt so bad.
Guys, don't mean to be such a downer, but I love you all, and you have supported me so much. Diana, thanks so much for answering the last couple of posts. It meant a lot. Sorry weiner man ain't around, but I fear he has almost ceased to exist. I've lost 16 pounds in the last two weeks or so from this monster. He is eating me alive, literally. Dropped from 242lbs to 226lbs. And its not fat - I'm a big solid guy. Its consuming me alive. Called my counselor at home this evening, Such a good man. Hated to bother him, but sometimes... Told him what was going on, asked him what he honestly thought. (Which is the way I operate - Never, never lie to me, even if you think its best. If I have a booger hanging on my nose, tell me - Don't say "you look fine", cause you don't want to hurt my feelings - ) Anyway, he quietly said, I probably need to be on an anti depressant with short term use of xanax for the panic attacks. Bummer. I guess its off to the Lexipro, once I get the guts to use it. I've just heard so many horror stories about ssri's (?), and am terrified of them. Anybody had any experiece with it, please let me know. At this stage, tired, physically exhausted (Still can barely eat), and to the point of defeat, they could almost give me thorazine, or something, as long as I didn't panic. (We used to have an inside joke about the Thorazine shuffle, when I worked in the hospital ER while putting myself thru school. - Another peek into my life - I've been a certified EMT (Emergency Medical Tech) since 1978. Was one of the founding members of the local Voluteer fire department's heavy rescue squad
Hiya Rick,
Sounds like you are having a time at this fight with the monster. No failures though, only set backs. Which we all experience. I am starting to feel that this disorder resides in some of us for a reason. I mean are`nt we always told there is a "REASON" for everything? Well I feel that those of us who suffer this disorder are just more in tune to the ways of this world. What I mean is that maybe just maybe if we did`nt suffer this disorder we would not be sooo caring and loving to our fellow man, woman and child or beast. Maybe we see and feel things no one else does. Maybe this is what keeps us humble. I don`t know, but I really am starting to believe this. Is this Psychotic thinking? I mean it is just about 4 a.m., maybe I am overdue for some shut eye. Well just thought I`d share my new found thoughts about this disorder. Hey Rick don`t worry "WEINER MAN" will be back in no time. You`ll see, keep fighting the good fight. I really enjoyed your post at this early morning hour. We can all learn something from one another, that`s why we come here to share and receive our fellow sufferers experiences. Hoping to see or find something we can take off of here with us. I know I always do. May I also add that even though I have only viewed photos of some of you, I feel a real conection to all of you. Lot`s of love.
Take care all,
Diana xxxxx
Dear Rick,
I am fully confident that this one will pass too and you'll be back here shortly.
About your tummy and acid. You definately need to be on proper meds for that rather than just your pink poison, I would recommend that you have a PPI regularly at a therapeautic dose- Omeprazole or family member - no side effects to speak of and that will relieve your tummy issues fairly quickly indeed and with that it will remove one of your worst triggers.
About the SSRI's. Literally millions of people around the world are on them to great effect. The latest research says that recovery from an acute phase comes best with an SSRI in combination with CBT - so do go ahead if you want to.
It will give you a welcome break from the worst moments in order to give you space to deal with your issues.
I agree with your points !! especially well put.
Let's be rational about this Rick. If you could eat again and relieve the tummy pain how would you feel about tomorrow ? These are easily done - really ! You might be better off queuing up at your 'doc in a box' rather than trying to be admitted to the behaviour med. Try to treat the cause not the result.
I know you have personal issues to deal with too but this tummy one has got completely out of hand but can be treated effectively and quickly.
You know we're here for you and await your next post ..
Take care Rick.
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Hi Rick,
Well you are having a tough time of late arent you? Well all I can say to you my friend is that this too will pass, just like the others. You are a strong man and you can fight and beat this 'monster'..we all can!!
I do think as Meg says, you need to get your stomach problem sorted out as soon as possible so you dont lose anymore weight and feel better. Also have you tried some pepermint tea..I know you need something a bit stronger but that could help a little too.
I dont know what other issues you have which must be having an impact on your PA..but you know we will help you however we can..no questions asked. I think taking some meds will be good for you for a while to get yourself back to feeling a bit more 'normal' and then you will be able to address the other personal issues head on.
Panic attacks are not a disease that cant be cured..they most certainly can and you and all of us can get over them.
The secret is to not be FRIGHTENED of the symptoms..they are only exagerated fear symptoms nothing more. You will not die or take a funny turn or whatever it is you worry about. I read something the other day which may help you...'consider an anxiety attack as caused by a simple nerve impulse'. Therefore, to consider it as that simple of a phenomenon, you can realise that you are bigger and stronger than that one part of your body and can therefore handle it!!
I also came across some coping tips, these too may help
1. Change 'What If's' to 'So whats'
2. Stay in the present
3. Dont judge your feelings
4. Thoughts and feelings are NOT actions
5. What am I telling myself that is scaring me?
6. I am what I tell myself
7. The more I do, the more I can do
8. I've done it before, I CAN do it again
9. I am the samre person, here or in my safe place
10. I can handle it, nothing terrible will happen
11. The feelings are distressing, NOT dangerous
12.In reality, there is nothing that can hurt me here
13. The anxiety can only go so high then it MUST come down
14. SLOW DOWN
15. Take slow, deep breaths
I do hope these tips might help you in some way. We are all thinking of you and can t wait for your next funny story!!
Take care
sadie
Hello Rick
First time i have replyed to your posts but have read them all with interest. Sorry you are suffering so much at the moment it is hard to get of the panic was its started its roll but you can and will do it i'm sure. I have just started taking an SSRI and thats after 15 years of anxiety and panic. I hated the thought of meds but have now decided that it is quality of life that matters and if these help to give me back some life then i'm taking them. So do not feel bad if you need them take them and see if they help you. I so hope that things settle down for you soon and thanks alot for your lovely posts.
take care
Pauline
pjpriest
Thank you, my dear frineds
I appreciate your kind posts. I started taking the Protonix tummy med three daya ago, so hopefully it will begin to alleviate the stomach trouble soon. I quit taking it early on, after I misread one of the med info sheets that I thought said it sapped your body of B-12. Well, turns out, it doesn't - at least for about three years. Serves me right. That's what I get for scaring myself on medicine web sites. I need to take my own advice more often.
Haven't had to take a xanax yet today, but my tummy is killing me. Took a swig of Mylanta, so we'll see how it does, along with the protonix. (Meg, if you get a chance, some time, read about the Protonix. It appears to be pretty benign to me, which is good.)
I still don't know about the Lexapro, still real scared to start it. Again, anyone here been or is on it? Any thing bad happen? Also, I've found three folks I know, who it turned out have or are suffering from PA's, and are taking effexor, with no bad effects. Anyone know about that med?
Well, Gonna go for now, I love you all, and keep me in your thoughts. I'm so tired - Dear God, if I could just get some sleep.
Take care, all.
Rick
bananarbabe
11-01-04, 20:01
Hi Rick,
I was prescribed 10 mg of Lexapro about a month ago. I wasn't liking the side effects (it made me so unbelievable tired) that I went to get a second opinion about the medication. My second opinion MD moved me to 10 mg of Celexa. Apparently Celexa is the origin of lexapro but 10 mg of Lexapro was as potent as 40 mg of Celexa. I noticed that the intensity of the panic attack symptoms increased the first week I was on lexapro. After that though, it got better. But then again, it takes like 2 weeks to a month to see if the medication is working. I'm not liking Celexa either but I have an appointment with my MD tomorrow to discuss that. I say you can give Lexapro a try, but if the side effects are too strong you might want to consider switching to Celexa.
Don't worry Rick, you're not alone in this. I couldn't get any sleep yesterday too cause I was pretty nervous.
Chris
Thanks, Chris.
As luck would have it, I was just talking to my niece, who lives in San Antonio, Texas (her husband is in the air force.) Well, this niece is one of several folks I was estranged from in the past couple of years. (Meg, I think I menitioned to you what happened with her while she was living with us last summer - keywords: crack, cocaine, police, shotgun.) Anyway, I answered the phone, and it was her, calling for my wife. One thing led to another, and, after about half an hour, we were sniffling, apologizing to each other for the hard feelings, and expressing our love for each other.
Also, ran into an elderly couple today - not literally, thank goodness - whom at one time had been like a set of surrgoate parents to me, but, with the breakup of a relationship sbout 15 years ago, they sided with her (ex) and the kids, which hurt me immenslely. (20-20 hindsight, I deserved to get sacked by her. Wasn't mean to her, or anything - just took her for granted, which, in some ways, is a whole lot worse.) Anyway, ran into this couple, ended up talking for two hours. Hugs, tears, and expressions of love and forgiveness.
You know, I don;t know why God has allowed these attacks to pummel me so, almost to the point of insanity (or so it seems, anyway), but, I'll tell you this. While I have almost lost my mind with these attacks, I have also been given a great dose of humility. It seems that almost every other day, I have come across someone from my past with whom I have been at outs with, or at least had differences with. With each of these people, I have been able to clear these differences, some very deep, and embrace them and tell them I love them.
For a big old hairy ex coal miner industrial electrician outdoorsy weiner like me, this is not a normal thing. Have I needed to clear the air with these folks, regardless who was originally at fault? Yes. Would I have done it without experiencing the hell of these panic attacks?
No.
Perhaps there IS a reason for things that happen to us that are unpleasant. Some may just call it coincidence. All I know, is that, even though I have reached the limits of my sanity these past few days, I have also had the opportuninty to express my love for people from unpleasant situations in my past, and bury our differences. The intense peace I feel when I have reconciled with these people, even though it lasts but a short time before the attacks start again, have been moments of the purest happiness and peace I have felt in years. If any of you are at outs with someone, call them up and tell them you love them. It will do your soul good.
OK, back to the original thread.
As it turns out,my niece (from the top of the page)is on Lexipro. Her MD had her start by taking half of a tab for a week, then going to the full 10mg dose. Also, he gave her clonazepam for anxiety, which she said was much easier on you than xanax. Also, he has her take a Clonazepam with the Lexipro at night. She said she has had no Ill feelings or anything from it, so, perhaps I'll try that. The most that could happen, is that I'd go off, and I'm about there anyway!!
Never thought about doing the med (lex) at night. so, anybody have any ideas on doing this? (Meg??)
Well, gotta go,
Thanks for listening and reading.
I love you all.
Rick
Dear Rick,
You're taking 40 mg of protonix ? Yes , it's good stuff. Hope it kicks in soon for you. If you're at your docs again soon you could ask about taking 80 mg just for 1 week if you're not getting relief soon.
Some people do find taking meds at night better but I think it's a matter of personal preference- try it both ways if you decide to take it.
It's great that you're making peace with people - can only help the peace grow inside.
I know you may find this a bit like Goliath and a poodle but I can't recommend enough that you learn to relax using a good Relaxation CD- used daily , it's of cumulative benefit so it's bread today jam tomorrow stuff, but currently you are so revved and anything you can learn to do will help in the short and medium term.
One day you'll only have to listen to 5 mins of it and it'll start to relax you.
Take very good care.
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Hi All,
Just wanted to say great posts here, good information. Rick I used to take EFFEXOR, honestly that is the most normal I think I have ever felt. I took myself off though several years ago, because I was`nt having any attacks or just plain old GAD. However when I needed something again, I was put on Prozac, which really has`nt been bad, but not sure why I did`nt request the EFFEXOR. Since you have brought that to my attention I may request that, when I go back to see my doc. Thanks for all of the great posts.
Diana xxxx
Hi all...
Just another entry into my personal worldwide journal... Earlier this evening, I took 1/2 of a clonazepam, just to see what it would do to me. (See my previous post - If I choose to take my med (lex) that way, I need to know what the Clonastuff will do). Well, it flat out put the wierd on me for about an hour. Felt a rush, sleepy, tingly, got the shakes for a moment... I thought, well, it's gonna be a long night, waiting for this thing to wear off... Then, I relaxed.
Dear God, it felt so good to relax. Even broke down, filled the hot tub with boiling (almost) water, lit candles, and turned on my favorite Hildegaard van Bingen CD. (probably didn't need to know about my bathing habits on this site![:o)]) Soaked in peace till I looked like a prune. It was nice. So far, a pretty good day.
I've run in to several folks who are on Effexor for their panic attacks, and they all seem pleased with it. I wonder, when I go to my MD tuesday, if I should give it a shot instead of Lexipro. I hope I'm not giving the appearance of soliciting opinions of these medicines because I'm such a waffler, but I truly want to make the proper choice for me, since I probably DO need some chemical assistance to break this cycle, and who better to ask than my dear friends on this site who have been there. Hope you all now understand why I ask. While I always make my own decisions, I always weigh out the options first, and I'm just checking out the options.
As I said, this has turned into a journal for me, and Nicola, Meg and all, I appreciate your letting me do it.
Thank God for a relatively good day. That old anticipatory anxiety is telling me, watch out, 'cause you know what follows. But, I'll try my best to whip them. Plus, I need to put out some weiner man stories, cause this constant panic forum is really getting too serious, and I miss laughing and being a fool SOOO much. And, I've done some serious stupid stuff that I'm sure all of you who follow this forum would find quite amusing - as did I, once I healed....:D
I love you all, and I'm sorry I am unable to do much posting on the other forums. It's not that I don't care - God knows, I care SO MUCH for all of you here. It's just difficult right now. Does that make any sense?
Well, my Australian Sheperd is at my feet, demanding her nightly tribute in dog treats, so I'll go for now. Thank you all for your love, caring, and insights.
You're a great bunch of people
Rick
Hiya Rick,
Glad to hear you are feeling better. Sounds like the Clonastuff may just be the med. for you. I hope you continue to get better. I know what you mean about the anxiety, I too have been pretty anxious for the past few weeks. Well guess I`ll get off for now but keep posting. We`ll be looking for the mis-adventures of "WEINER MAN" you are a card that`s for sure, but we love you and your stories.
Take care Rick,
Diana xxxxx
Rick, so the behaviour med tour is cancelled then ??
Please if you ever feel like that again remember that it passed and that this time it will be exactly the same and will also pass.. Get it in your journal loud and clear . Felt at end of tether - it passed.
Learn and remember ...slowly
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Yeah... I think the view from up there would be pretty lousy, anyway.
Thanks a bunch, Meg. You're great:D.
Love ya
Rick
Hi Rick,
I took Effexor for a few months there and I just want say one thing which my doctor never told me...it could take a few weeks to show any affects and it may also make your panic symptoms slightly worse to begin with..but keep on with the meds as they do disppear!!
Hope this helps.
sadie
Hi all
Well, went to the DR today. He took one look at my 20 pound weight loss in one day, and that really got his attention! I go for a CT scan of my tummy tomorrow. Got this bottle of vile looking liquid to drink tonite. (Hope it doesn't cause PAs!!!)
As for the panic - He wants me to start on Effexor, and I am terrified. I did take the first pill this morning - I think Socrates (or whoever it was) took the ****nic easier that I took that tab. (I was sitting in the car, holding the pill and thinking of what it might do, and how it might turn me into a blubbering mass of anxiety ridden waste, and all that - when my wife reached over, poked me in the ear with her finger, and said, "Are you gonna take the Damn thing or not??? So, I swallowed it)
I have read so much about the side effects, in particular, the panic getting worse with some folks, that I feel like I've given myself a death sentence (Not that I'm planning on dying anytime soon - just the feeling of waiting for the axe to fall.)
You would think that if the effects are so bad, they wouldn't give these meds out. But, could it also be that the folks who have had the bad side effects are in the minority? I don't know. Has anyone here taken the stuff without bad effects?
Oh well, I guess its too late now. Wish me luck, guys.
I love you all.
Rick
Hey Rick,
Like I mentioned before I had taken it awhile back. I never had a bad side affect, actually I felt quite normal on it. More so than on a regular day without any meds. Go figure ey!!! You will do just fine. Just post to let us know how you are getTing on with the Effexor. Good luck mate.
Love,
Diana xxxxxx
Thanks Diana
You're a great friend!!!
Heading off to work now.
Love, Rick
Rick,
Literally millions of people worldwide have taken it with huge benefit and very few sideeffects. We only tend to hear about the bad ones - All the rest are too busy getting on with their lives !
You may have transient sideeffects initially but they pass quite quickly. Then you should feel the relief set in .
Once you feel the relief please use that time well to deal with your issues as it is a mood altering med and does not sort out your life for you...but it will give you a space where you will feel able to do that.
I hope your Tum is starting to feel better now and the CT goes well.
All best wishes
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Hi all!
Well, survived the first day of effexor. Probably the worst thing that happened today was that I dropped a light bulb on my boss'es head (the one who is like a pimple on the butt of the world). It was an accident, you know. I'm on meds, and I was dangling with one arm around a pipe while trying to remove this bulb that had been in the socket for years, I've been having panic attacks for three weeks now, and I just couldn't catch it quick enough - -IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!
Yeah, right[}:)]
It was funnier than all get out. I nailed him good, too, right square on his old bald noodle - and, you know what? THe darn thing bounced of his head and didn't even break unil it hit the floor! Now, THAT'S a man with problems - so mush headed a 100w light bulb won't even break on his head.
(I actually only dropped it about six inches to his head. And, it wasn't supposed to hit the floor either, but, the best laid plans... My co workers who were working with me thought it was great!
Weiner Man strikes again!!!:D
Actually, I may have had a taste of wehat was to come, or it was just a generalised attack. Felt pretty good after taking the Efexor, plus the Hyoscyamine (Spell that one fast three times while patting your head and rubbing your tummy), which is a tummy pill you put under your tounge, and it helps take the pain away. I was cynical, but tried it, and it worked!
Bout 3pm, while sitting in our maintenace lunchroom, I noticed that I was really seeming to get a lot of energy. After a few mintues, it developed into an attack, A wierd one at that. I've gotten to where I can usually figure out what is causing them, and then try to talk sense to myself about it. This one, though, seemed different. I couldn't place the point of fear anywhere on it, it just came up and started putting the hoodoo on me. Well, I was just flat out too to fight it, so I excused myself, went to the loo and took an emergency 1/2 of .25 xanax, which killed it in about half a hour. It was weird..
Wonder if it ws one of those dreaded Effexor-SSRI anxiety attacks ? Well, suffered thru the xanax for aboput four hours till it wore off - and, let me tell you, I may be missing something living out here in the boondocks, but, why in the world ANYONE would want to get hooked on xanax is beyond me. It gives me a dull headache, makes me lethargic, forces me to concetrate 100 percent on whatever I'm doing, Slurs my speeh, if I'm not careful - and thats half or the smallest dose!!!
Anyway, after the xanax wore off, about 9pm, things were pretty smooth, except for drinking that horrid barium whatever concoction for my CT scan tomorrow. My mates were gathered around, pounding their wrenches in unison, shouting "Go, Rick! Go, Rick! Go, Rick" as i tried to chug this vile effusium as quickly a possible without barfing it all back on them. Probably should have, just for the effect:D!!
Well, Need to go to bed, I'm BEAT. Still cant eat much, and my legs are starting to feel more and more like rubber bands...
Wish me luck on my CT Scan! 20 lbs in two weeks DOES scare me... That ain't normal for any reason...
Ihm ah leetle skeerd...
Love you all
Rick
Scaredtoolong
14-01-04, 14:24
Hi Rick,
Although it is prudent to have some medical testing done to rule out everything and anything but panic, in reality all your symptoms including the weight loss is probably due to anxiety. I lost 14 pounds in less than two weeks myself and at a normal weight of 105lbs...losing that much(that quickly) was a scare for me...of course I thought I had some incurable disease...but...in the end it was panic...you lose an awful lot of weight trembling inside/outside etc...the tummy troubles didn't help either...vomitting and rather runny bowels...the good part about all the tests is that it will put your mind at ease that this all stems from anxiety/panic and you can concentrate on overcoming the disorder. I didn't do the drug routine...too scared to try it...so it was a challenge to use my own wits to outwit mine own wits...if you know what I mean. But, it CAN be done and I am living PANIC FREE to prove it. Just a blurb from a former panic sufferer/agoraphobic. Good Luck!
Hugs, Susan
Heya Rick,
Just a little note to wish you good luck on the CT scan. Let us know how you do. keep us posted about how you are doing on the Effexor in a few weeks. I am thinking of requesting it myself. As I am a former user of it. I think you are well on your way Rick, "WEINER MAN" is coming back That is a good sign!!!!! :D
Take care,
Diana xxxxx
Hi Rick,
If that amount of xanax makes you drowsy etc , you're taking too much. Try a quarter next time.
Hope CT went well. As we've said previous - large amounts of weight loss are completely normal with acute anxiety and panic.
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Hi friends,
Just a short one - my fingers feel wierd, so i cant typw well. The effexor was a bomb BIG bomb. I got teh effects in three days that most get in three weeks, bummer. Weiner man done got de-weinered after that one. Once things wear off, gonna start a tradiotional old timey med, that I used back in 86. Going to the xanax, an well see what happens. at lteast i know that drug, and am familiar withits effects.
Statisticlly,. Im in the minimun bracket for efects - but, my metaboism is such that all mood altering drighs do weierd tings to me.
(God, i can barely type) My CT scan appessrd to be ok, Its loking like i just bascially ate the linng ouit of my tummy wit one and a half bottle of nyquil a week to help sleep, So, we'll deal with it.
I'm still working, believe it or not! Havent missed a day yet ovre thtss. Tehy all think someting serious is wrong with my tummy, so they don;t know aabout the Panic
I realize I am makeing no sense, Time to go to bed and let this terrible stuf fininsh working its way out of my body.
I knwo I usualy write a little better, but i am hammered and so groggy, I can barely see teh screen.
Take care , i love you
Rick
Hiya Rick,
Sorry to hear the EFFEXOR did not work for you, but no fear there is something out there that will. So you are considering going back to the XANAX ey? If that works for you then that`s what you should be on. Do keep posting to let us know how you are getting along. Good luck good friend.
Love,
Diana xxxxx
Hello, all..
I know I haven't posted on the site for a while. For one thing, I realized that, right or wrong, I was using the forum as a personal diary, sort of, and, after reading my last couple of posts, realized it probably wasn't of much help to anyone with my ramblings. (If I was wrong, I can sure start rambling again!!! ;) )
Mainly, though, I had the disaster with Effexor, plus this terrible stomach thing. As of today, I weigh 218 pounds, down from 243 before Christmas. Actually I'm doing a little better, for at one point early last week, I was down to 214. I looked like a refugee from a concentration camp.
The Effexor was not good, and I now realize that SSRI's and I do not like each other. One thing that I was reminded of by a friend who was with me back in the days of the original panic episodes of 85-86, was that we had discovered that I have a very low tolerance level for most meds. I had pretty much forgotten that, but after reading some old journals and stuff, I now recall that, with the Tofranil episode (mentioned in my very first post on the forum), I did not have an adverse reaction. I was simply massively overdosed! I reread the FDA prescribing information sheet, and, indeed, the symptoms I had were that I had OD'd, nothing else. The only symptoms I didn't have, were convulsions and death. Pretty scary. Then, this same psyche doc hammered me on Xanax, if I recall correctly, 4 - 2mg tabs a day AS A STARTING DOSE!!!! I have practically no recollection of the next six months of my life. Finally, I was able to find someone who had some sense, cut the meds down, and finally was able to function normally and eventually get off the xanax, though not before destroying my life. Oh well, it happens.
Anyway, back to the present. I am working with a PRN dose of Xanax now, usually 1/2 of a .25 tab, experimenting with 1 or 2 doses per day, as needed, not every day. Its amazing that that small dose performs what 1- 2 mgs do for other folks. I must really have a clean system. (All that good living!!! - right....)
Full blown panic attacks have dropped off to about once a week now, though I still have a fair amount of anxiety. That's where we're trying to find the happy medium for the Xanax, until I relearn how to make my flight or fight responses behave themselves again. Its a struggle, but folks around me tell me I'm doing better, so, I guess I must be!
The wife and I have been working hard on resolving a lot of issues that have been pressing on us, and that has been very helpful. My counselor is absolutely wonderful, and I am so fortunate to have lucked into him.
One thing that has happened, and I kind of got the general feeling that this sort of thing was looked askance at on the site, and I apologize if my perception is wrong - but, I have made a peace with God, and that has helped tremendously. Not only has it allowed me to turn this over to a higher power, its good to have someone to talk to that's always there! :-) Really, rediscovering my faith has been a wonderful side effect of these attacks. All things happen for a reason, and perhaps this was one of them, along with, eating healthy, mending old wounds with people, searching myself to find inner peace, getting things straight with my wife... all sorts of cool stuff, not to mention the 25 or so pounds I needed to lose (terrible way to do it, though!)
The medical thing with my tummy has been a circus. My GP doc got my records fouled up, and his staff ended up calling me to tell me I had been scheduled for a bone scan. Meg, you're a medical professional, and you and I both know what that means - they know what you've got, and are just confirming it to see how far along it is and how much time you have left. Anyway, this girl called my wife (I was at work) and told her I was scheduled for the bone scan on that Friday. Scared her to death, she called me, scared me to death. That's when I realized it was time to get my life in order. When we went to my doctor two days before
Hiya Rick,
Good to hear from you again. I was wondering what ever happened to ya. You`ve come along way Rick, as opposed to your first posts. You sound so much more at ease, so much more comfortable in your own skin. What an accomplishment. :) Keep up the good work, keep those positive thoughts flowing. I am glad to hear you are putting things in order and cleaning up some of the stress in your life. You are well on your way Rick!!!!! Good for you mate. I am soooo happy for you. Keep us posted as to how you are getting along. Sorry to about the mix up at the docs,I know that had to be horrifying, but kudos for you coping so well!!!!! :) You have pushed forward instead of allowing that to push you back. GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck mate, in all of your indeavors. Hey keep God close, he`s always there to guide us in the right direction, even when we mess up. He makes it right again. Though sometimes not without trial and error, but hey that`s life!!!!!!!!! right????? LOL.......... :)
Take care,
Diana xxxxx
Thanks, Jim.
I appreciate your response and encouragement. I do have a queation of for you, or anyone else reading this... My poor stomach has been giving me fits over the past month or so. I remember, when I had the first eposodes (1985), whenever my tummy would act up, I knew I was in for it. It seems as of now, these attacks are coming from my stomach. (Does that make any sense??) It seems that, if I could calm my digestive system, it would stop those deadly twinges. I bought a bottle of pink poison (Pepto Bismol), and wonder if that'll do any good. (Just took a dose). So, anyone have any ideas on panic attacks from below???
Thank you,
Rick
Hey Rick. Your observation about stomach trouble totally chimes with my own experience. I started getting panic attacks (on top of longer-standing social phobia) about 4 months ago, when a person I'd been leaning on as a friend started to distance herself from me. I experienced a sort of hysterical emotional pain - and it kind of centred on the stomach.
Things slowly got better. THEN, a month ago, I caught a cold which gave me stomach cramp and - WHUMPH - quick as a flash, the panic was back. Nothing conscious about it, just an automatic associative response, as far as I can tell. That was a month ago and I'm still struggling. Though I feel a little better right now because of hearing someone report the same thing as me. A chastening thought for you, maybe, but all I can say is I truly sympathise.
Best wishes,
Francis
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.