Graveyards....just wondering

[Sallysdream]

Hi all

just wondering how do u feel when driving past a graveyard? I feel like I need to look the other direction and fully ignore it, which is difficult, as I stress myself so much not to look that way, so that all I can think of is the graveyard I am passing. Does that make sense? I can not look that way, it scares me so much. Then I hear of people walking their dog on it or going for a walk themselves, which I just cannot imagine at all.
Wondered if I was the only one feeling this way.

[Sambapati85]

Well i dont have this feeling when driving by a graveyard, but i do have a fear of death like everyone else. The graveyard i simply holding our physical remains, consciousness exits all around u at all times in other dimensions. The purpose of life is death.. it is inescapable.. why should we fear something that is suppose to happen in this universe. The thing that scares meis the anticipation of death, but once it comes i am sure i will embrace it and journey into the realm of Dark Energy.
!

[PoppyC]

My dad died a few weeks ago and until then I felt like you do. It was all so gloom and doom. I would look the other way when passing the cemetary in a car.
I go every weekend to my dads grave and I now am beginning to view the cemetary as a very calm, beautiful, peaceful place and one that has a special atmosphere - not scary or full of gloom and doom at all. There is nothing to be scared of there. People have been laid to rest and are at peace. There is more to be scared of being out in a town centre on a Saturday night.
I can understand how you feel though.

[NoPoet]

I used to view graveyards with fear and suspicion but my dad does a lot of work involving churches and I have got used to being in and around graveyards, while taking photos of churches.

I find them very gentle and restful places with an overwhelming feeling of peace. They do not intimidate me or upset me any more. They are sad places in a way, but they are also places of quiet remembrance. I cannot see them as scary any more. They're about love, not fear.

[Sallysdream]

Thanks. I am not so much scared of the Graveyard itsself, but the reminder of death. I want to think of nice things, but now I always think of dying and graveyards just don't help. Funny thing is I am keep on asking myself "whay am I scared of death" and I can't answer it really. I think it must be just the thought that I will miss out on things or that I still want to do so much, not the actual idea of death itself, but how short life is and that I could prevent dying to early if I find a cure for something I think I am having.

[PoppyC]

Hi :)
When I was at my worst with anxiety and really unwell, I would often think about death and all kinds of morbid things. It really bothered me just how short life is too. Now that I am much better I have noticed that I dont think those thoughts so much - hardly at all in fact now.
My therapist told me that such thoughts are common in people who have anxiety and depression.

[Sambapati85]

The bigger problem is people who are soo distracted with their gadgets cell phones, and other material things.. rarely if ever think about death or the universe as a whole.. The most important truth to us is just replaced with all the garbage of the modern world. I hate my health anxiety and long before i had this i still thought of death and meaning quite a bit. i just wish other people were anxious about finding universal truth.

[NoPoet]

We are not taught how to deal with death so it remains a major fear our whole lives.

I like to think that the fear of death is a spur to action. You don't want to die without anyone remembering who you were, so you make friends and stand by your family. You want to experience as much as possible in the time you are given so you travel, have hobbies, you see the world and experience all kinds of emotions. By living your life you can make other peoples' lives happier.

Death is not our friend, but it isn't our enemy either. It's what makes us want to get off our bums and do something. It's what makes us appreciate being alive. That's the truth as I see it :)

[PoppyC]

I think it is only natural to question life and death but I think that when we think too much about it all especially death and dying, its not a good thing.
I am not talking about questioning the meaning of life and all that, which is interesting to think and talk about, I am talking about being morbid. I was having really morbid thoughts when I was ill. I am totally different now I feel so much better.
I dream a lot about death but maybe this is related to my dad passing away a few weeks ago.

[justbananas]

i still get a little anxious with stuff like this but i dunno .. i try to be level headed and calm. my mom and grandma go to the lithuanian cemetary every tuesday and thursday to visit my grandpa's grave.. to put flowers on it.. etc., and recently i've started going with them occasionally. it's nice.. my grandma's approach makes me smile. she shows up and literally just jabbers away and talks nonsense to my grandpa.. then every time as we drive away .. she says 'see you soon mitchy' and i always shout at her.. but like, she's just so chill and matter of fact about it. for her, it's all just part of life. it inspires me to be less anxious and just live life to the fullest.

[PoppyC]

I do that at my dads grave! I sit and chatter away and tell him things as though he is sitting there listening. I kiss his headstone and blow him a little kiss as I walk away. From thinking cemetaries were horrid scary gloomy places I now see them as being peaceful, calm, beautiful places. No one is suffering in them anymore apart from the people who visit obviously.
When I was very ill with anxiety I thought morbid thoughts of death and dying and questioned everything along the lines of 'whats the point of doing this and that cos we only end up dead' Everything seemed so pointless and futile. It sounds mad now but thats how I thought.
My therapist said this is a very good and common indicator of depression and anxiety.
Now that I feel much better the thoughts have subsided and death does not scare me at all. I see it as a new beginning...I hope that doesnt sound too hippyish! :blush:

[Oceanblue]

I do that at my dads grave! I sit and chatter away and tell him things as though he is sitting there listening. I kiss his headstone and blow him a little kiss as I walk away. From thinking cemetaries were horrid scary gloomy places I now see them as being peaceful, calm, beautiful places. No one is suffering in them anymore apart from the people who visit obviously.
When I was very ill with anxiety I thought morbid thoughts of death and dying and questioned everything along the lines of 'whats the point of doing this and that cos we only end up dead' Everything seemed so pointless and futile. It sounds mad now but thats how I thought.
My therapist said this is a very good and common indicator of depression and anxiety.
Now that I feel much better the thoughts have subsided and death does not scare me at all. I see it as a new beginning...I hope that doesnt sound too hippyish! :blush:


So sorry to hear about your dad (((Poppy))).

I've always felt at ease with graveyards ever since I was alittle girl. I used to even visit some of the most intricate stones to draw when I was in my college years.

They are so peaceful and quiet,.. beautiful really. I have many good close friends and family who have passed away and so I suppose I'm very much used to them. One graveyard in London, is the most prettiest, it's full of real old intricate stones and there's tons of white doves that live there, my grandad's buried there.

Whenever times get tough, I can spend whole sunny days around the people i've lost, it's strange but I really do feel that it gives us strength, time to think and clear out minds from the insanity of the world, and put life into perspective.

Poppy - You're right, they do have a special atmosphere.

xxx

[yorkylover]

I used to have a great fear of walking on peoples graves.Then my nan died and she was buried.I visit her and my grandad all the time now,and Im able to walk on graves with no problem.
I actually find the cemetary a very relaxing place,especially when its sunny and all the flowers are in bloom.:hugs:

[PoppyC]

Thank You Katie for the hugs and the lovely reply. :)
That graveyard in London sounds so nice. The one that my dad is in is very pretty too and is looked after very well. He died a few weeks ago suddenly and I guess its still a bit of a blur really. I take a lot of comfort from visiting him and just spending time tending the grave and chatting to him.
I am sorry to hear that you have lost a lot of people in your life.
Thank You again for your lovely message.:hugs:

[NoPoet]

I've got to admit that I mutter a quick apology every time I step on a grave! Nowt wrong with showing a bit of respect!

Aww Poppy, the more I read your posts the more I want to give you a big embarrassing hug! :D

[PoppyC]

Awww thanks Poet! :blush: :hugs:
Have you noticed how theres not that much room left in cemetaries? When I visit my dad, there is hardly any room and sometimes I have to sit on some other deceased persons patch to chat to him! lol Some cemetaries now are not offering burials due to lack of space!
I always feel bad about the people who dont get any flowers on their graves too and whose graves look forgotten about :lac:
This has got nothing to do with anxiety has it??? lol :wacko:

[Bill]

When I was young, I used to have a terrible fear of illnesses and death which I think is because we want to do so much with our lives.

As we grow older though and we lose those close to us, I think the pressures ease and we begin to accept life better.

I used to be terrified of graves and coffins but when I lost my father, I stood beside his coffin and felt at peace. I didn't want to leave. A few days later I returned alone to watch his ashes scattered in the form of a cross beneath a tree and again although I felt a deep sadness, I didn't feel fear as I still felt close to the father I loved. A rose was planted in his name and we also had a tree planted in the local park with a plaque with his name which I often frequent as it brings comfort to feel closer to him again.

I'm very lucky to still have my mother but if she goes before me, I think I will fear death even less than since I lost my father because now I live in hope that one day we might meet once more. We have to live in hope that it's a happier place.:hugs:

[worriedGrace]

Although I am terrified of death there is nothing I like better than exploring graveyards. I spend too much money on flowers for all my relatives graves and have had several stand up rows with people who say I should be giving the money to charity which by the way I do as well. I must admit that when I see a grave of someone young I wonder what they died from.

My doctor once suggested that I got a hobby to distract me from my health anxiety so I started tracing my family tree. It soon turned into a collection of relatives' death certificates and the poor doctor was always being asked if what they died of was hereditary.