really really afraid

[Shadowshil]

Hello

I am having for the past weeks panic attacks again...I have strange pains in my abdomen and legs. I had blood test and went to the gyn everything was ok. I had an ultrasound that was ok as well. I can't really believe them that everything is alright and now i have persuaded myself i have a blood clot that the test i had, cannot found. Moreover 2 days ago i was thinking something i had to do on friday (tommorow that is) and it got stuck in my head that i might die on that day. Don't know why i thought that. It just came out of the blue. Now i am obsesing over it and i am driving myself mad. I am so afraid and i am completly alone at the moment as my parents live in another city and my boyfriend is away too. I don't know how i can pass this night...

Something else that is making me feel completly awful is that my mother is quite ill. She has kidney failure and is doing hemodialysis which has caused her numerous problems (and a blood clot as well). She is always so positive and she is not afraid. I on the other hand obsess over everything and i feel so bad when i talk to her about my fears because instead of giving her courage the opposite happens. She is the one that always comforts me....I feel embarassed to even tell her of my fear about tomorrow, so i don't have anyone to talk to. I don't want to talk to my boyfriend as i don't want to bother him all day with my fears. He has seen me crying more times in the last 2 weeks than the whole year we are together.

Sorry for the wall of text but i realy want someone to tell me that i am irrational and maybe reassure me a little

xxx
Shadow

[reallyfedup]

I am sure if there was anything wrong it would have been picked up in your tests. Anxiety and stress play a big part in causing physical pain . Big hugs x:bighug1:

[eurotrashcub]

You have not got a blood clot. You have had tests, try to accept your diagnosis and try to wait for 7 days.

You will see in 7 days, you will look back at it and realise that it was all caused by your obsessive worry as you cannot have a blood clot for more than a few hours without causing some serious physical symptoms that your doctor would have detected.

And you might die on a friday, in many years time, but certainly not this friday! I promise!

You are more likely to win the lottery, so go and buy a ticket! :)

x

[Shadowshil]

Thank you guys!

I just got home after 11 hours at work and my leg is in so much pain which doesn't help my anxiety at all. I really feel like crying again which is almost in daily bases this past few days. I feel so tired of worrying, i just don't want to be afraid anymore...and the sad thing is that i am sure i wont get any sleep tonight as i am too afraid of sleeping...