Need to sort out my life, any tips?

[rocklover]

Hi,

I had a meltdown last year in Sept and had to leave a new job after being signed off with anxiety, that was the beginning of my GAD nightmare. Feeling sick 24/7, high state of anx constantly, pins and needles, shaking, feelings of fear over nothing concrete. Then after going to Florida last year I began having panic attacks which were the most terrifying experiences of my life.

Anyway, to cut a long story short I refused meds and got some CBT this year which really helped me move forward, not cured, but healthier, felt sick far less, PAs stopped etc. I am now actively looking for a job and ready to move out of my parents with my daughter when I have the money.

Ok so to my problem, this week my relationship of 15 months broke down (he was no longer in love with me), despite me being very unhappy and wanting to end it for a while anyway I have been very upset over it. I am much calmer and more accepting today, however my anxiety is creeping back upwards and I need to stop it in it's tracks.

I want to use this opportunity to really start my life over again, to get my anx very much under control, make more friends, get a job and generally start enjoying life again. I just wondered if anyone else has been where I am and how they managed to turn the negatives back into positives. Somewhere deep inside I know I am a strong person and I have faith in my abilities, I just need to be able to put this into action.

Thanks for reading.

[krog]

Hi,

I'm not gonna' give you the 'magic-bullet' that we all sometimes think exists to 'cure' us of our issues, but in reading your post it sound like you already know what you need to do to help you move forward.

Although my personal situation does not match yours, the symptoms are something that I share with you and in my experience the key is initially the acceptance that you do have an issue and only then can you start to understand what works for you in order to move forward.

Relaxation is crucial. Its not always easy, especially if you are in the middle of an anxiety/panic attack, but you have to stay calm and start to think in a logical way about what is happening and why.

I went through counselling and quickly came to the conclusion that there is only one person who can really help you and that is you.

In accepting that I have managed to move on. I still suffer with mild anxiety attacks but their frequency and strength is something that I have more of a handle over.

One of the biggest helps to me is this website. Its a great way to chat with people who can genuinely sympathise with you and provide support.

I have probably just told you something you already know and in that is your answer. You already know what to do. The hard bit is doing it :)

Take care
krog

[rocklover]

Thanks Krog, you are right in everything you say. I am trying to look at the breakup as a positive step in my recovery as my partner exacerbated my anxiety to some degree (unknowingly) and prevented me from moving further forward because of his own fears and emotional issues. I know the split is best for both of us as we were at difficult moments in our lives.

But I really want to understand myself and the relationship and learn from it all so that I can move on and into a healthier and more fulfilling life. And, also hopefully onto another, better relationship in the future.

Thanks for your encouraging words.