PoppyC
10-04-09, 16:32
Why is it just when life seems good for the first time in over a year and I have been feeling so much better and optimistic and the anxiety has gone and I feel great, (thanks Citalopram! :yesyes:) does someone have to ruin it!!! :mad:
I am trying not to over analyse or stress too much...but I am now thinking, it is better if I am totally independent, even though I need someone around sometimes for helping me get out and about due to my agoraphobia. I find I just have been through so much (like all of us have) that I really dont need any complications in my personal life, because I am just getting back on my feet after a year and a half, and I am worried that if things stress me out, that I will relapse, even on anti depressants. Is it possible to relapse on anti depressants??? :shrug:
If I am single and indendent at least then I dont have to deal with other peoples stupid petty moods and gripes aimed at me that are so insignificant compared to what we all go through. I truly believe that unless a person has experienced anxiety and depression or agorapobia for themselves they cannot understand - which is not their fault I know - but I find the selfish actions of others just really ends up making me feel bad and then I start to worry how I will cope being left on my own, but maybe I would be better, because at least then I wouldnt have to stress about how they are making me feel !
I used to be fully independent until I got ill with anxiety and had been independent for 10 years, now I feel like I am a burden. My partner says he is fed up having to go out with me, as he is tired after work,(this includes supermarkets and other boring places) however mostly he is away at the weekends due to other committments . I cant go out on my own due to agoraphobia and we do need to get food in! He says that I am stuck in all day and its not fair that he has to go out again after work. We are talking very short car journeys.
I am scared still of being on my own again. :weep: so maybe the anti anxiety/anti depressants are not fully working yet??? I think maybe its better to be on my own. Its too stressful worrying about how I am making the other person feel. When they moan at me about deeply personal stuff (which I dont want to go into on here) it really makes me feel insecure and then I start worrying and getting anxious and withdrawn and I start thinking that I am better off being on my own. Maybe if I had not had a breakdown I could cope and I feel so much better now but theres always this worry that once I am back on my own again it will happen like last time. How the other person is making me feel tho is not exactly conducive to my mental well being. I think we change after we have been through such tough times emotionally...and I have no time for trivial things that people whinge about...I feel I am much more thoughtful and basically just a deeper person than I ever was before. I realise now what is important and what isnt in life. If one good thing came out of my breakdown and that was it. I have a whole new attitude. I am not the same person anymore and that is a good thing!
I just dont need this certain person making me feel down. I try and explain how they make me feel but its pointless because I am told basically it is all my fault - so whats the point of me explaining how I feel when no matter what I say I am always going to be held totally responsible for the problems.
I am not looking forward to going back to living on my own again but I suppose I can deal with it as best as it possible. I just dont think its ever good for people with anxiety and depression to live on their own. Its depression making I find.
Why cant things just go smoothly for once!!!!
I was having such a good day too!!!!!! Sorry for the outpouring of whinge!!!
I am trying not to over analyse or stress too much...but I am now thinking, it is better if I am totally independent, even though I need someone around sometimes for helping me get out and about due to my agoraphobia. I find I just have been through so much (like all of us have) that I really dont need any complications in my personal life, because I am just getting back on my feet after a year and a half, and I am worried that if things stress me out, that I will relapse, even on anti depressants. Is it possible to relapse on anti depressants??? :shrug:
If I am single and indendent at least then I dont have to deal with other peoples stupid petty moods and gripes aimed at me that are so insignificant compared to what we all go through. I truly believe that unless a person has experienced anxiety and depression or agorapobia for themselves they cannot understand - which is not their fault I know - but I find the selfish actions of others just really ends up making me feel bad and then I start to worry how I will cope being left on my own, but maybe I would be better, because at least then I wouldnt have to stress about how they are making me feel !
I used to be fully independent until I got ill with anxiety and had been independent for 10 years, now I feel like I am a burden. My partner says he is fed up having to go out with me, as he is tired after work,(this includes supermarkets and other boring places) however mostly he is away at the weekends due to other committments . I cant go out on my own due to agoraphobia and we do need to get food in! He says that I am stuck in all day and its not fair that he has to go out again after work. We are talking very short car journeys.
I am scared still of being on my own again. :weep: so maybe the anti anxiety/anti depressants are not fully working yet??? I think maybe its better to be on my own. Its too stressful worrying about how I am making the other person feel. When they moan at me about deeply personal stuff (which I dont want to go into on here) it really makes me feel insecure and then I start worrying and getting anxious and withdrawn and I start thinking that I am better off being on my own. Maybe if I had not had a breakdown I could cope and I feel so much better now but theres always this worry that once I am back on my own again it will happen like last time. How the other person is making me feel tho is not exactly conducive to my mental well being. I think we change after we have been through such tough times emotionally...and I have no time for trivial things that people whinge about...I feel I am much more thoughtful and basically just a deeper person than I ever was before. I realise now what is important and what isnt in life. If one good thing came out of my breakdown and that was it. I have a whole new attitude. I am not the same person anymore and that is a good thing!
I just dont need this certain person making me feel down. I try and explain how they make me feel but its pointless because I am told basically it is all my fault - so whats the point of me explaining how I feel when no matter what I say I am always going to be held totally responsible for the problems.
I am not looking forward to going back to living on my own again but I suppose I can deal with it as best as it possible. I just dont think its ever good for people with anxiety and depression to live on their own. Its depression making I find.
Why cant things just go smoothly for once!!!!
I was having such a good day too!!!!!! Sorry for the outpouring of whinge!!!