Too unwell for my friends night out

[FRANKIEISBACK]

My mate phoned tonite about going out for a few beers for his mini stag nite, I am in a state of high anxiety and I know I look unwell,I feel terrible letting him down but its another 2 weeks till his wedding, I am determined to keep taking the sertraline and try and get some other help from my psychiatrist,really a friend of mine who suffers from manic depression told me sometimes you really have to put all guilt aside, he reckons mental health problems are every bit as serious as cancer if thats the case I am sure I wouldnt force myself and feel so ****** guilty all the time, the more I think of it I really dont care what other people think, I know avoiding things can lead to problems if you do it too much but right now the idea of a night out in a busy pub fills me with absoloute horror.

[Caramel]

Hi Frankie,

Could you say that you can't make it for this one, but suggest meeting up at a date nearer the wedding for a drink with just the 2 of you? I know what you mean though, and you are right saying that avoiding things leads to problems - I used to be really sociable and Dj'd in clubs but now that thought fills me with absolute dread. So I would say do things in small steps that you are comfortable with - it might be a small step, but for you it's a major thing.

Your friend is right I think - mental health problems ARE illnesses in their own way. It isn't something you're doing on purpose, it's your brain and body doing it. You have to think of yourself right now, and if your friends are worth their salt, they will understand.

Be strong

Emxxxxxxx

[Meg]

No point pushing yourself that hard now when you're trying to get ok enough for the wedding.

I agree with your friend. No guilt.

Avoiding everything leads to bigger isuses but avoiding something in particular is ok especially where lots of alcohol and rowdiness may be involved.

As Caramel says- try to meet up in the next couple of weeks somewhere quiet - maybe outside in a beer garden for a chat and a drink.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[Piglet]

Hi Frankie

Like the others said I wouldn't push yourself to go either nor would I feel guilty about it - no-one gives you a Blue Peter badge for never turning anything down.

Take small steps and achieve what seems handlable (is that a word) perhaps be honest with your friend and say you feel grot but are hoping to be there for the big day.

Guaranteed to make us more anxious is when we put pressure on ourselves to do things other people would be far more generous about letting us not do!!!!!!

Its not a question of avoidance on this ocasion its a question of what you can sensibly manage at present.

Love Piglet:D

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[FRANKIEISBACK]

Just had a phone call from one of my mates, obviously they want me there and believe me I would love to be out having a few beers but I just cannot feeeling the way I do, its horrible,I was scared to answer the phone to be honest so I left it to my old man who as usual messed it up by saying I was in bed sleeping rather than I had flu which is what I told him to say...aaaagh.

Thanks for your replies, I have to come first on this one I know.

[FRANKIEISBACK]

I have also got this book by Tim Cantopher called "Depressive Illness, The Curse Of The Strong"

"suffering from depression, until you get better, means cancelling all those social events you have been dreading...you are dreading them because you are well aware(YOUR BODY IS TELLING YOU) that they will hurt you. If you force yourself to endure them you will get worse.

Now I know that feeling is me at the moment, its so scary, I feel so on edge, the phone rings and I shudder !!!

Thanks for listening