Hello

[weakerthan]

Hey all

New member signing in, 27 M.

Panic attacks started working for the ambulance service (anyone fancy learning even more symptoms that *could* be fatal, let me know... I know thousands)

Started a job away from the service when I couldnt face it anymore, but now have anxiety, which has grown and grown until last tuesday I got to work and collapsed, then locked up and couldn't do anything. Doctors have ran tests, but now likely i'm off for a good while, not handy is work doesn't help with sick pay... and i've over 25k of debt :(

Have good and bad days. Good days I can avoid thinking of anything, bad days i'm almost certainly dying of something terrible OR the boss is going to call me into office OR debt collectors are going to follow me home OR i'm about to have an allergic reaction to something OR all that drinking has finally killed me...

Yeah life rocks... doctor has refused any medication aside citalopram which made me 1000 times worse.... Panic / Anxiety / OH GOD HEART ATTACK symptoms have called out 999 four times now... and almost made me again yesterday.

Sorry for gigantic wall of text... suppose it's better just to write it all down.

[emma30982]

hi there and welcome know how you feel it does take time for medication to work which you probley know hehe hope you feel better soon
emma x

[weakerthan]

hi there and welcome know how you feel it does take time for medication to work which you probley know hehe hope you feel better soon
emma x

Yeah I'm aware. After 8 weeks on the pills, and 8 weeks of daily attacks I took myself off. Attacks subsided to 3 or 4 a week.

Problem now is i'm constantly anxious. Like I'm constantly pre-attack.

[emma30982]

i hate that constant anxiety i told my physc the mirtazapine hasn't helped and he just put the dosage up i always feel anxous i can't stand it hehehe

[Southern_Belle]

Hi,

Welcome to NMP. You aren't weak! Perhaps you need to switch doctors if they only will give you one medication. If medication is not your choice, I would suggest counseling, CBT has helped many on here. Many here understand how you are feeling and you will get their support.

Take care,

Laura

[kittykat]

Hi there and :welcome: to the site, lots of good advice and support on here , the chatroom is also very good, take care xx
__________________

[Lilcharlie]

Hello welcome to the NMP site, its great here!

When i was reading your intro message it just sounded like how i would say things, Its awful isnt it!

Really hope you get to know nice friends on here and maybe get to see you in the chat room sometime,

Take care
x

[snowdrop]

Welcoming you in!!!

This is a truly great place and glad you've joined us....one word of advice, with your past history at the ambulance service you may find yourself up very late on the chatroom! :winks:Hope to see you in there soon!

Lou x

[melody]

Hi,

I might know how you feel. I'm not sure if it's the same for you, but I found that workplaces can be very unforgiving about breakdowns in health, especially if it's not black & white, or if there could be liability involved.

I had my bosses call me a traitor, try to prove my incompetence and encourage everyone in the workplace not to speak to me (which they were gullible enough to believe). They kept saying I was a faker with my work injury. This went on for 2 years before they fired me, I am no longer physically able to work full time. I felt I couldn't leave because I would go broke, which I did later anyway. It has taken years to come half way to normal. I had to retrain in a more suitable career (for me it was accounting). It helped me to rebuild my life. Everything about my life is different, mostly in a good way (other than pain & mental illness of course).

Perhaps your mind is trying to tell you something that you can't accept, like it was for me when I got my first panic attack. Something needs to change! If you stay in situations that are hurting you, your body may fight it.

Maybe I'm way off. All I know is I have wasted so many years thinking everything was wrong & I wasn't good enough just because of a few lousy bullies who were in charge trying to make me do the impossible. Their nasty lies and accusations still echo around in my head sometimes. It's silly.

I hope I'm not being too negative. Just trying to point out that you are probably being stronger than you realise to cope with everything you are going through at the moment. It may take a while for you to see that for yourself?

Hoping you feel better soon,

Melody

[sunshine-lady]

Hi and welcome to NMP

So pleased that you have found us. I am sure you will like it here as there is so much help, information and support. There is a chat room which is a great place to make new friends

Take care xxx