The little things...

[chaoticM]

On Friday I'm heading off abroad on my brother's stag weekend with a bunch of people I don't know and have little in common with.

But right now I'm sat here feeling anxious about the fact that I have to get a haircut at some point before I go!

I go to one of those places were you just walk in and wait your turn. The problem is that having to sit there with someone paying close attention to me causes me to start shaking. It always starts in my left leg. It tenses up and then starts to "jiggle" a bit. When this happens I become incredibly self-conscious and embarrassed, causing the shakes to get worse.

I've no idea how noticeable it is. No-one's ever said anything and if I distract myself by talking to the hairdresser I can normally keep it under control.

But I'm always worried that they'll notice and think I'm weird.

The really annoying thing is that it's the fact that I worry about it happening that makes me anxious, which is what causes it to happen! If I could just stop thinking about it I'd be fine.

This is one of the main things I hate about anxiety: Rationally, I know that I should have nothing to worry about, and getting my haircut more regularly would help me feel better about my appearance. But now I'm caught in this vicious circle and I can't shake the anxiety about it.

[woody32]

You're not weird...loads of people I know hate going to get their hair cut..but as you said, noone has ever said anything to you, but I understand the anxiety...I too dont like all focus on me, and used to have panic attacks at the hairdressers, a long time ago....and would go all red...which DID make it noticeable!! I usually chat to the hairdresser too which distracts your mind....its always us thinking that everyone notices these things and makes us anxious when in reality, they don't...we just THINK they do.
Have a great time on the stag do, I hope that it helps to know that youre not the only who has this! Feel the Fear and do it anyway....(is actually a book) but applies to all situations....can give you the author if u want, as its a very good read.

take care.

[Carefree]

Even people who don't have social anxiety don't like being stared at. In my years of dealing with anxiety and the people I have met who also have SA, one of the biggest mistakes we've been making in our rationalisations is that we are in some way different to people we think are normal.

This is rubbish - it's normal to not like being stared at. The difference is, we also feel it, as opposed to just thinking it. My girlfriend loves going out, she's very social - but the things she complains about, are exactly the same things I don't enjoy. That's not a coincidence.

Go at a time of day when the place won't be as busy, or maybe try making an appointment at a place where you won't have people stare at you. Those old style barber places aren't the best for haircuts anyway :D

[chaoticM]

Thanks.

Well, I survived. I got there early, so it wasn't busy and I didn't have to wait at all -- which helped calm the nerves a little. Still felt the anxiety building up, but chatting with the hairdresser helped keep it under control.

After all that worrying I was in and out within ten minutes with nothing traumatic happening. :)

It's just so frustrating that I can't move beyond this. I know that there's nothing to worry about, but worrying about getting anxious means that I do so!

[PoppyC]

Well done, Chaotic! :yesyes:

I think it is always the fear of something beforehand which is always the worst and yet when we are actually in the situation it is never quite as bad as what we imagined it would be.
I hate going to the hairdressers but make myself go every few weeks - I feel intimidated a little bit I find but I often sit reading a magazine whilst my hair is being cut or chat away about anything to the hairdresser so she doesnt pick up on how awkward I am!
I hope you have a good stag weekend away and enjoy yourself! :yahoo:

[melody]

Hi,

as someone who gets paranoid both if I am being noticed, or other times I worry I feel invisible to everyone, I think people are not that observant. Try asking someone near you if they had noticed. I think their answer will surprise you if you are brave enough to ask. It might make you realize it's a very common jittery habit and no one minds. If it doesn't bother anyone, there is no real reason to worry about it technically, although I know you can't help the worry. You can question if it's rational though.