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Sax
14-08-05, 15:05
Hey all,

I just wanted some advice about the counselling. I initially refused it and now have said i will go and have been put onto a waiting list (about 2months ago).
I know it is better down here than in some areas cos the waiting list is onlly about 4months i believe.

But i have a dilema.

I want to cancel it.

My reason for saying i would go was i felt i was in a dark place with feeling i couldn't cope with and felt very alone. However, i feel now i am on the up and my life seems much more manageable and my reasons now for saying i want to cancel is i really don't want to go back to that dark place and don't want to have to think about what i was feeling before.

I know talking helps but i feel talking on here and with ppl on msn has helped me get to this stage so in my eyes i would be talking a huge leap backwards to drag up things i have moved on from.

I hope this is making sense and i just need to know some opinions.

Advice i have received so far is that i cannot be sure the depression will not come back later on if i haven't aired or discussed those thoughts.
Also, if i go to first appointment i will be able to tell counsellor how i feel about being unsure.

Trouble is i am worrying about it and this isn't helping me just get on with things. I am scared of going and would feel much better right now if i just decided to cancel and move on.

What do you guys think!!!???

Sax xx[8D]

clickaway
14-08-05, 16:59
Without really knowing you that is a tough call.

Speaking on the net is certainly a great help, but to what extent is it just sticking plaster that needs to be re-applied? And I'm unsure whether your counselling was going to be a few weeks of chatting your issues over, or something more deeper.

My recommendation would be not to cancel it yet and just see how you go. I really hope you will go from strength to strength. I would hate to see you cancel it, experience some unexpected downturn and then you having to wait another 2 or 3 months.

If you want to cancel, just do so a week or two beforehand.

Ray



Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself.--Alice Walker

kate
14-08-05, 17:38
Hi Sax,

I would go for the first appointment and then see how you feel after that.

Usually you can tell after the initial consulatation whether you feel comfortable etc. Would be a shame to dismiss it out of hand when it could be very beneficial to you.

Kate x

nomorepanic
14-08-05, 17:39
Sax

I would still go for it as well.

It could help you more than you know.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

Karen
14-08-05, 20:19
Hi Sax

I agree with others here. As long as the counselling is solution focused and concentrates on helping you change thought patterns and developing coping strategies for both the present and future, then I think it would still be worthwhile going.

The kind of counselling that isn't very helpful is that which encourages you to talk endlessly about the past and encourages rumination without giving any feedback or helpful strategies for change.

Depression can have many ups and downs and while it is great that you are feeling better now and find talking here and on the net helps, if nothing else has changed there could be the possibility of feeling low again. You could be fine from now and and that would be great, but after waiting so long for the appointment isn't it at least worth going out once to see what is on offer?


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

Piglet
14-08-05, 20:21
Hi Sax,

Like the others, I think just go for that first appointment, you'll get a feeling then if its really 'you' and if its not then you can leave it at that.

Love Piglet[8D]

seh1980
14-08-05, 22:34
Go for it Sax - you have nothing to lose :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

Sax
15-08-05, 01:28
hi all

Thank you so much for your replies.

I am not going to cancel yet however Seh you say I have nothing to lose but like Karen said some counselling is ruminating over things and this is what i can't do or I will sink again.

I am just feeling on the up and do not wish to rake up bad feelings therefore I am worried the counselling will do this. Is this stupid to feel this but to me although talking is suppose to be good and I would probably be advising the same to others, I just don't want to have to open up firstly to a stranger and secondly about how i felt just a couple of months ago.

I find talking aloud extremely difficult and this is why i am stressing about it. I cope better when i am just ticking along and managing so this is why I want to continue like this and not dig into negative feelings bringing them all to the surface again.

I won't cancel just yet and seeing as the appointment isn't through I can continue to think about it.

Thanks again for the replies it helps put things into perspeective hearing other ppls thoughts.

Cheers

Sax xx[8D]

Karen
15-08-05, 04:19
Hi Sax

I understand about not wanting to go over the past and too much focus on this wouldn't be helpful. However, even though you are feeling better at present seeing a counsellor could still be beneficial.

You could wait until you get the appointment through and then either ring, or write, and ask what form the counselling will take. If it isn't something like CBT or solution focused therapy then you can make an informed decision at that time as to whether to go ahead with it.

Simply having the kind of counselling where the person listens without giving any input and without helping you develop strategies for coping in the future is unlikely to help. And therapy that focuses on the psychodynamic approach is not helpful for depression either.

I understand it can be difficult talking to a stranger because I find it very difficult to talk too. However, the first therapist I saw allowed me to write during my appointments with her and with my therapist now I email between sessions. It is also getting easier to open up now that I have been seeing her for a while. Don't let these fears put you off getting help. There is always a way round these dificulties.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

pips
15-08-05, 14:58
I agree with the others Sax,

Speaking from personal experience. I have always found it benificial.

I think you shold go to your first appointment. Then see how it goes from there.

Good Luck,

Take care,

Love PIP'S X X

darkphantom
15-08-05, 18:56
Hi Babe
I agree with the others please go for the first appointment, i thought i could cope and cancelled my appointment i went for a year with no help but then out of the blue the prob came back and i wished i had gone i then had to wait longer for another appointment so couldnt get the help when i needed it.
please take the help now while you can, at least if you go they will help you should the dark days return.
Just take this first appointment and then take it from there. cos if you cancel they will put you to the back of the list should you need them again.
And as we know depression can creep up on us when we dont expect it.

Take Care
susie
xxxxxxxx

jen
16-08-05, 00:03
hi

Im in a similar situation

I have been on the councilling list for four months now , and things have got alot woarse for me in terms of leaving the house.
The councilling is at my doctors surgery which is only a few minutes away by car.
But i have two problems
the anticipation of the councilling
and the fear of getting there !!!

good luck though do whats right for you

take care
jen




[8D]

Sue K with 5
16-08-05, 01:01
Hi honey!

you already know my views on the councelling, it is great that you feel better, but you need to ascertain what put you there in the first place, and the councelling can help you search for those answers. It could be a great way of avoiding it happening again.

From experience I have had many days of being on the up and up but I also know that when you hit a low you come crashing down with an almight bang. Take the advise given, do what you feel is right, but dont let an opportunity like this fade away lightly - I know it can help you even more


Your bright and intelligent and this could have a huge impact on things in your life



love sue



xxxx

scknight