PDA

View Full Version : Starting a new life after relationship of panic !



dobbin1973
14-08-05, 17:15
Hi there,

My name is Simon and I am curretnly off work with depression and panic attacks. I have suffered with panic attacks ever since moving to clapham and in with my girlfriend 2 years ago.

After having an emotional breakdown a month ago the doctor advised some counselling sessions. Anyway cut a long story short and after threee sessions. It was apparant that due due to a servere lack of affection / sex life and missing home (chertsey in surrey where most of my famliy are) this was the cause of depression & stress. The more i came to realise this with the consellor the more i spoke of times where at points and i had wanted to scream and shout at my partner for things she had done or NOT done.... constantly asking for affection.... even silly things like holding hands ... all i use to get was " theres other people about!" .... anyway .... after serveal long conversations with my partner we have split up. i will be renting a flat in chertsey near my family and i have a job interview at shepperton studios this week.

This whole thing has been very difficult for me and my partner but realising what the cause of your stress is half the battle. The next step is doing something about it 8).

I just wanted anyone in the same situation or similar that as hard as it is admitting its your relationship thats causing stress/depressionor panic attacks. ..... its your health at the end of the day. I for instance had blamed the whole thing on a stressfull job and even though i thought it might be that fact that me the now ex maybe just not compatible i blocked it out as i did not want it to be that.

I know feel very positive and cant wait to get "home" around my family and get my self sorted ......

To anyone in the same situation .... be strong, be postive and above all put yourself and health first !

Would love to hear from anyone in a similar situation or who has gone through the same.

Remember its a state of mind and a panic attack can never hurt you ... i know its hard but try this. ... next time you feel ok and not ill in the slighest take a picture of something you can see. (most mobiles and cameras these days) look at the the object and remember that you feel fine and ok. Now next time you have an attack. Look at that picture and remember how you felt when you took this picture and that you will feel like this again. it helps me hopefully it will help you.

Take care.

Simon.

"all those moments will be lost in time ... like tears in rain! "

the above is taken from a fantastic film called Bladerunner of which im sure you have all heard of. Its the way i like to think of panic attacks.....
the panic attacks being the moments.

trac67
14-08-05, 20:48
Hi Simon,
I can understand exactly where your coming from, i was in an unhappy marriage but was too scared to let go for the sake of my girls. My ex was in the services and when he was away for 8 months at a time my anxiety seemed to get so much better, it took me a while before i realised this. So i decided that the marriage needed to be sorted, i tried but he walked out and to be honest with you it was a relief, so it shows that sometimes it can be a relationship that makes things worse anxiety wise. Now i am doing so much better and am a lot happier as are my girls.
Feel free to pm me if ever you want a chat
Take Care Trac :D

its "just a thought"

seh1980
14-08-05, 22:16
Welcome aboard!! :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

Meg
14-08-05, 22:19
Hi Dobbin,

Glad to hear that you're doing better now than you were when we last saw you and you're so right, often the catalyst for stress is under our noses but difficult to place.

I love your image tip. Thanks.

Good luck with Shepperton..

Hows the composing doing these days ?

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

dobbin1973
14-08-05, 22:19
Hi,

Thankyou for taking the time to reply.

I amdire your courage in doing something like you did.

Like you say its very difficult to realise that the problem is a) the thing that is dearest to you or b) the one thing that you think you cant cope if it wasnt not there.

im so glad its turned out for the best for you. email if you like on
afreshstart2005@hotmail.co.uk.

take care

Si xxx







<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Hi Simon,
I can understand exactly where your coming from, i was in an unhappy marriage but was too scared to let go for the sake of my girls. My ex was in the services and when he was away for 8 months at a time my anxiety seemed to get so much better, it took me a while before i realised this. So i decided that the marriage needed to be sorted, i tried but he walked out and to be honest with you it was a relief, so it shows that sometimes it can be a relationship that makes things worse anxiety wise. Now i am doing so much better and am a lot happier as are my girls.
Feel free to pm me if ever you want a chat
Take Care Trac :D

its "just a thought"

<div align="right">Originally posted by trac67 - 14 August 2005 : 19:48:46</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Sue K with 5
15-08-05, 14:37
Hi Simon,


I am so glad you have found NMP, the people on here are so lovely and you will make lots of new friends.

Relationships can be fantastic, but can also do more damage than harm sometimes and you have obviously experienced a lot of pain.

I was with my first husband for seven years and as soon as we split I became a totally differant person.

I learnt how to live again, but then I met someone else and after a long marriage and many many horrible breakdowns in our relationship I am back to the same again with agoraphobia and high levels of anxiety, but this site has been so good and I have got such fantastic friends from here

I am glad you are moving back to your family that will make a huge differance in your life.

I use breathing techniques for my panics now and it has helped me tremendously and if that fails I ring a friend! anytime you need to talk just shout loudly and pop into chat anytime we are always about.

pm me anytime


take care







scknight

pips
15-08-05, 14:42
Hi Simon,

So glad you are being POSITIVE and looking to the future. I do hope all works out for you.

Take care & Good Luck.

Love PIP'S X X