lotte_82
14-04-09, 15:14
Ok...so things are going horribley for me at the minute.....my life is one big mess (which I have made)
Today I had my first appointment with what I thought was a counsellor,prior to the meeting in the waiting room, i was nervous and scared and my anxiety was terrible.....anyway I went,,,,it turns out he is not a counsellor but a Primary Care Mental Health Worker (Not sure what one is and feel no wiser at the moment either)
Anyway I told him everything, my ED, my self harm, my sucidal thoughts (which have become increasingly more frequent - daily) this on its own was bad enough, I felt exposed and scared because I have said it out loud to someone real...face to face, that I Feel like dying on a daily basis, that I feel a failure and a pathetic waste of space for a human being. Finally after an hour and telling him everything he tells me that actually he may not be qualified to help, due to the depth of my problems and that he has to speak to his manager!!!!
What I wondered though is does anybody else ever feel like they are not there, that someone is doing all the talking for them....I felt very surreal like some one had taken over my body and was talking for me and I was just sat observing....I felt no emotion, no sadness, no anxiety ABSOLUTLEY nothing!!
I feel like an alien like Im crazy and a freak!!
I also had a weird turn last night in bed....like an hallucination, my eyes were closed and I was not dreaming but I could see things and it was very strange,,,creatures coming at me!!
PLease confirm that this hapens to others also not just me???:weep:
lotte
xx
Today I had my first appointment with what I thought was a counsellor,prior to the meeting in the waiting room, i was nervous and scared and my anxiety was terrible.....anyway I went,,,,it turns out he is not a counsellor but a Primary Care Mental Health Worker (Not sure what one is and feel no wiser at the moment either)
Anyway I told him everything, my ED, my self harm, my sucidal thoughts (which have become increasingly more frequent - daily) this on its own was bad enough, I felt exposed and scared because I have said it out loud to someone real...face to face, that I Feel like dying on a daily basis, that I feel a failure and a pathetic waste of space for a human being. Finally after an hour and telling him everything he tells me that actually he may not be qualified to help, due to the depth of my problems and that he has to speak to his manager!!!!
What I wondered though is does anybody else ever feel like they are not there, that someone is doing all the talking for them....I felt very surreal like some one had taken over my body and was talking for me and I was just sat observing....I felt no emotion, no sadness, no anxiety ABSOLUTLEY nothing!!
I feel like an alien like Im crazy and a freak!!
I also had a weird turn last night in bed....like an hallucination, my eyes were closed and I was not dreaming but I could see things and it was very strange,,,creatures coming at me!!
PLease confirm that this hapens to others also not just me???:weep:
lotte
xx