I didn't invite you on my holiday!!!!

[kath135]

Ok. I've just had five lovely days off work. The first two days I spent decorating our bedroom the third day I went through the house from top to bottom spring cleaning, the fourth and today I spent doing the garden, tomorrow my last day off I have saved to relax before I return to work. I've had no panic, no pain, no breathing problems etc not even when my husband shouted me into the garden when he sliced the top of his finger off:hugs: !!!!
so tonight I ran a bath added my favourite bubbles and Suprise suprise the panic struck me down!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :weep: I've spent the last four hours trying to control it The chest pains the breathing problems etc all came flooding back.

I know this sounds strange but it's as if my body has held together over the last five days just so I could complete my jobs and now i've done that, all hell has broke loose. I feel so angry at times. When I felt that horrible feeling coming over me tonight I actually shouted out NO!!!!!!:mad: because I just wanted the panic to go away. I despise this illness with a passion so why wont it go away i'm not inviting it in.
OR AM I?:unsure:

Can looking forward to a day of rest really cause a panic attack.

[alias_kev]

I experienced some of this pattern before in a rather different situation. I found that while dealing with a crisis for a couple of weeks my anxiety was very reduced and absent during the day if not at night. This blocking of anxiety only lasted while the crisis did.

I think the removal of active stress can be rather like a medication withdrawal, eg, the original problem can return AND can feel worse because we've been free of it for a while. After all we can learn to ignore a clock ticking or a toothache but we will still notice/suffer a new one the next time.

This would explain why you felt so good while busy and so poorly the moment you started to settle into your day off.

It has become a bit of a pet theory of mine, active stress versus helpless stress, described below:

--------------------------------
If adrenalin, busyness or what I now term active stress is high then the whole internal anxiety mechanism seems to be (largely) blocked. This can be a boon to an anxiety sufferer in the short term, especially if they have a very real emergency to deal with or just need a break from their fear/panic.

I am not convinced its a good alternate lifestyle in the long term.

By active stress I mean "being very busy, possibly with important stuff, possibly unavoidable stuff, BUT the key element is being able to get on and achieve - or having to". So the pressure and urgency is there - but there is an outlet for it, and progress, and even achievement. So its affirming too. The activity will also help to occupy the mind which is great for blocking irrational thoughts, fears and anxiety normally.

This is very different from the kind of stress the anxious or depressed are often involved with - where pressure and fear is there but the ability to alter the outcome is missing either implicitly or because of their mental condition.

We could call this blocked stress or impotent stress, except the "i" word could confuse some people; its in its non-sexual meaning here. I think I will adopt helpless stress as my new term (hopefully its informative without confusing).

For cronic anxiety sufferers their anxiety can easily pre-date the stress which is just another symptom. They may be helpless because the stress is founded on an irrational belief/worry/fear (in the CBT sense) and so cannot really be fixed or changed directly. Or helpless because their general level of fear or phobias blocks them directly from tackling the stress trigger which might even have (some or lots of) validity in the real world. Also when helpless we may have even less to occupy our minds except the problem/worry/fear/anxiety. Not Good.

This helpless stress is more or less the same as the stress many "ordinary people" suffer in work or relationships or whatever. Eg. unemployment or a difficult boss threatens but the individual can do little or nothing to alter the outcome. So its threatening, dominant and you are vulnerable but powerless. Not a pretty situation. In these "ordinary" situations the stress comes first out of a realistic or valid fear or situation where the person IS or FEELS helpless. The stress may grow into and fuel a clinical anxiety but really precedes it for "ordinary people".

The ordinary situations for helpless stress are much easy to spot and understand, unlike those of the chronic anxiety sufferer; especially when irrational beliefs may be involved. I begin to think this one of the reasons sufferers are often treated for their stress rather than for their underlying anxiety.

---------
I hope this helps in some way to understand (my view) of what was going on.

[jsl298]

Hi Kathryn

My anxiety definetly gets worse when I have time to think. I went away for the easter weekend and surprised myself by being relatively anxiety free in the build up to the trip and on the journey itself which is usually the worst bit for me. I put this down to being busy at work and my Nan being ill which meant we weren't sure if we were going away or not until the last minute so it was all a big rush.

Anyway I packed, we set off, arrived and set up the tent. The minute I sat down to relax with a cup of tea and a hot cross bun my mind went into over drive and I started feeling anxious. I couldn't really work out why which then stressed me out even more but luckily my boyfriend spotted it and suggested it was becasue it was the first time I had stopped to think for a while.

So, I am learning to keep my mind occupied, talking or reading or listening to music when ever I start to feel anxious. The quicker I catch it, the easier it is.

Hope this helps.

Jo

[Insomniac]

Kath - I totally agree with you on this one. I work in a school and find the school holidays the worst times for anxiety (apart from going back in September and wondering how I'll cope!)

I find that I am much better when my mind is occupied, which may be why a lot of us feel better if we can work. Lucky for me my boss is very understanding, and his support means I feel more secure therefore less panicky.

Keeping distracted is the key. Maybe take a book into the bath with you and have a read, that way you get to relax but your mind isn't free to drift off into anxiety. Worth a try! :flowers: Hope your unwanted visitor moves out soon!

Kev - very interesting reading. I like your ideas.

Jo - your boyfriend sounds like my husband, very supportive. It really helps doesn't it. Having someone to chat to and distract yourself is good too.