Richd
15-04-09, 15:54
I don't know how many of you can help me here, because I wouldn't have thought many of you would be as stupid as I am, but it's worth a shot.
I've been suffering with anxiety for a while now, I have good periods where it lifts a lot, and bad periods where it feels dreadful.
For the past month or so it had lifted a lot, hardly even noticed it and it definitely didn't effect my day to day life.
Last week I went away for a few days, a lot of drinking ensued, which I always experience a little anxiety the next day or so from regardless but I've learned to live with that, as I enjoy a good night on the town.
On the Friday however, my birthday, I got very drunk with a mate, and after the club we decided to get hold of some cocaine. I was into drugs in a pretty big way around 5 years ago, I blame my previous drug taking for a large part of my anxiety, but for the past few years I have hardly touched them at all, definitely not since I've suffered from anxiety like I do now.
At the time it was really fun, but ever since I have felt like absolute s**t. The anxiety has hit me big time. My chest feels tight, I'm worried that my eyesight is blurring when I know it's not because I can still see, read and write fine, I'm thinking that people can just tell that I don't feel right, I feel worn down and tired, and to top it all off I've developed a rash on my knee which is probably just due to some unrelated allergy or something but I keep worrying it's related to the drug taking or something.
To make matters even worse, when I got home from the few days away I had to feign normalness for the sake of my parents, they had booked me a meal on Easter day, and wanted to give me my birthday gifts, when all I wanted to do was lock myself away and work through my anxiety.
I'm not one for ever giving into it, I don't take meds, I've had CBT and try to keep those methods at the forefront of my mind, but when I have times like this it is still very, very distressing.
And I know a major factor of this is because it is totally 100% self-inflicted, which brings on a whole new world of anxiety and self-loathing.
I guess, aside from the cathartic feeling of writing this stuff down to possible sympathisers, I was wondering if anyone else has done this, or if anyone in the know thinks I might have done something genuinely and medically bad this time and if I should speak to a doctor, or if this will just all pass like it usually does. My head just feels a mess and it's been 4 days now since.
This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter
I've been suffering with anxiety for a while now, I have good periods where it lifts a lot, and bad periods where it feels dreadful.
For the past month or so it had lifted a lot, hardly even noticed it and it definitely didn't effect my day to day life.
Last week I went away for a few days, a lot of drinking ensued, which I always experience a little anxiety the next day or so from regardless but I've learned to live with that, as I enjoy a good night on the town.
On the Friday however, my birthday, I got very drunk with a mate, and after the club we decided to get hold of some cocaine. I was into drugs in a pretty big way around 5 years ago, I blame my previous drug taking for a large part of my anxiety, but for the past few years I have hardly touched them at all, definitely not since I've suffered from anxiety like I do now.
At the time it was really fun, but ever since I have felt like absolute s**t. The anxiety has hit me big time. My chest feels tight, I'm worried that my eyesight is blurring when I know it's not because I can still see, read and write fine, I'm thinking that people can just tell that I don't feel right, I feel worn down and tired, and to top it all off I've developed a rash on my knee which is probably just due to some unrelated allergy or something but I keep worrying it's related to the drug taking or something.
To make matters even worse, when I got home from the few days away I had to feign normalness for the sake of my parents, they had booked me a meal on Easter day, and wanted to give me my birthday gifts, when all I wanted to do was lock myself away and work through my anxiety.
I'm not one for ever giving into it, I don't take meds, I've had CBT and try to keep those methods at the forefront of my mind, but when I have times like this it is still very, very distressing.
And I know a major factor of this is because it is totally 100% self-inflicted, which brings on a whole new world of anxiety and self-loathing.
I guess, aside from the cathartic feeling of writing this stuff down to possible sympathisers, I was wondering if anyone else has done this, or if anyone in the know thinks I might have done something genuinely and medically bad this time and if I should speak to a doctor, or if this will just all pass like it usually does. My head just feels a mess and it's been 4 days now since.
This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter