Grrr How Exactly Do You Enjoy Your Holidays? [Archive]

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samtheman

16-04-09, 13:45

This has me baffled and really pi$$ed of aswell. When at work, no anxiety and because I've done a days work I come home and feel sort of at peace with myself as I've done something constructive. Even though I have no anxiety at work my days are usually spent day dreaming of being at home or being anywhere else but work.

Then the holidays arrive, you long for them to come and they finally arrive, you maybe get 1 day in ok and am glad to be off. The following day anxiety has set in, boredom,depression then the thought of having to go back to work comes and before you know it your holidays are ruined before they have really begun.

Then its back to work on Monday, you are in an hour and wish you where on holiday again. You can't win an I am sick of the cycle, I just want to enjoy my time of but can't with anxiety and depression, its almost like working just sort of masks it, then when you have nothing to do it all comes flooding back.

I think I mentioned I have been off all week, I've looked forward to these holidays since I went back to work after Xmas, and now they are here I want back to work but I don't want back to work if that makes sence. I want rid of the anxiety I suppose and going to work does that but I don't actually want to work if that makes sence.

I remember at Christmas. On Xmas night I actually got depressed because that was it, and it was the actual thought of having to go back to work got me depressed.

I just can't find any peace.

EDIT*** After reading through that I have noticed something. I seem to be using work like an anti depressant, It blocks my anxiety then when I'm not at work all comes flooding back. So imagine my predicament when I say I totally hate my job, its like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, Don't go to work and get anxiety, or go to a job you hate. Grrrr

Southern_Belle

16-04-09, 16:11

Hi Sam,

To me it sounds like that at work perhaps you are busy so that is why your anxiety might be a bit better because you can't focus on it even though you hate your job. When you are at home relaxing your mind can wander and you aren't focusing on the moment at hand, you are thinking of the future. The "what ifs" can be horrific at times.

If you truly hate your job, perhaps you can on the sly, try to find another one. I don't know how your job market is right now, but ours is terrible. I do hope you find something that you will enjoy.

When you are at home, try and focus on the present. Make lists on things you can do to keep you busy. You can work around the house, read books, go on walks, etc. Anything but just sitting and focusing on going back to work or that your holiday will end soon and getting depressed over it. Living in the here and now is all we really have and if you truly try to focus on that it makes things better. Very hard to do but I think your holidays will be more enjoyable. You might also plan little outings too. Hope this helps.

Best wishes,

Laura

kath135

16-04-09, 22:23

Hi
I've just had 6 days off work to decorate and do lots of other jobs that needed doing around the house. I did everything that needed doing in five days so I could relax on my last day off. However on my last day I had panic attack after panic attack??????? :mad: I was so angry that I could'nt relax and did'nt get to bed until 4am so I returned to work the following day shattered. I seem to cope better at home by setting myself little tasks during the day. I've worked full time nearly all my adult life , I think my brain is programmed to work. I have very few panic attacks at work because i'm just too busy. Reading helps me too.
Hope this helps.:)

Allye

16-04-09, 22:27

Hmmm I am the opposite - but then my PAs began at work. Best tip is to keep busy, take up hobbies, go for a walk, anything to distract

Lisa30

18-04-09, 15:18

Hi Sam

You could be describing me when I read your message, I have felt exactly the same and usually do when i am off from work. I cant wait to be on holiday and dream of being at home when im working, even though I like my job. I dont often feel anxious at work as I guess its a distraction, but this week i,m finally off and I feel quite anxious and cant relax. I get really annoyed with myself about it especially as now I am due to go back to work and I finally feel more relaxed, but now starting to feel disappointed that i am going back.

Can we ever win!!!! Thanks for your post I feel better knowing someone else is like me.

:hugs:

Coni

18-04-09, 15:31

Hi Sam, I'm just the same...have just come to the end of a weeks leave (which I was desperate for) and it has been rotten. Ive felt anxious, depressed, not able to go out, havent even been to the gym amd now I need to go back on Monday I could kick myself. I too cant stand my job and I know that within an hour my stress levels will be through the roof and I'll be wishing I was home again.

Dont know what the answer is though... maybe Laura is right and we need to focus more on the present as its happening and try and structure our time more. I know for me if I know I HAVE to do something or go somewhere, then I can, but if I have the choice or its not absolutely necessary then I tend to talk myself out of things then end up feeling even worse (does this make any sense?)

Anyway...still got one day left I suppose lol...

Coni X

samtheman

19-04-09, 08:24

Hey, thanks for the replies guys. Its good to know I am not the only one like this. Back to work tomorrow and am dreading it so much I actually dream't about it last night :( And this past 2 days I've felt less anxious which is just typical isn't it. My next holiday is May Day the 2 weeks in July, sooner they roll around the better.

Lisa30

19-04-09, 19:55

Hi Sam

Good luck for tomorrow on your first day back at work after the hols, I am sure you will be fine, just as I am sure I will be too. Felt relaxed today and loved my day off, and have that sunday night disappointed feeling now. Oh well heres to the next "non-anxious" holiday we surely have and will earn in the next few weeks.

Lisa :yesyes:

samtheman

20-04-09, 05:26

Mudskipper

20-04-09, 14:24

samtheman

20-04-09, 19:35

Yeah, another one here. First day of a weeks leave and already I wish I was at work. There I have to get on with it because if I don't, I'm sacked. Here there's a hundred and one things need doing but I can't get motivated to do anything. Didn't help when my wife came sailing in from dropping the kids at school and cheerily informed me about one of the other dads starting several weeks of chemo for cancer in his back passage. You'd think she'd have learnt by now...:lac:

It will get easier as the week progresses. I find I am only just beginning to enjoy my holidays when I have to go back.

Hi Sam

Good luck for tomorrow on your first day back at work after the hols, I am sure you will be fine, just as I am sure I will be too. Felt relaxed today and loved my day off, and have that sunday night disappointed feeling now. Oh well heres to the next "non-anxious" holiday we surely have and will earn in the next few weeks.

Lisa

Well I can happily say that was one c**p day. One of them days where every min seems like an hour, and of course all I could think of was being anywhere else, I was so pi$$ed of infact I got phoned the jobcentre and got an application form for another job.

krog

20-04-09, 20:30

I've just read this post and realised that it describes my anxieties perfectly.

I find it so frustrating that being at work, in a job that I find so frustrating, is actually the time when I am least anxious.

I then come home to my great wife and lovely home and almost immediately go into anxiety mode !

I realise that the distractions of work are what I need to replicate at home but all I want to do is just relax.........or do I ???

Maybe thats the answer, get into a routine that gives me a distraction and then I can maybe begin to give less and less time to my 'issues' and start to get control of this blight on my life.

This forum really is better than any therapy :D

samtheman

02-05-09, 13:07

Well thought it time to add another post to this. I have been pretty good since returning to work after Easter, the first few days where dire but things got back to normal, no anxiety and no depression up until yesterday. I was fairly happy yesterday morning then as the day went on I became depressed, I felt like I could cry for no reason at all and just wanted to lay in bed. Then it dawned on me. I am off on Monday, Thats why I was depressed and it is totally subconcious, today I am fed up to the back teeth. Totally amazing, any time there are holidays coming up depression and totally subconcious.