Agoraphobia - Today was a success!! Yay.

[Ambience]

Hi everyone ,and thankyou for making me feel so welcome to this forum!!

Just thought i would write a little note for those of you out there who suffer with this horrible disorder.

Today i went in to work ( my new job) and after spending one hour panicking about it i managed to make it around the building to deliver the post. My job is facilites assistant, and is just about working in the post room, and delivering mail.

I have severe agoraphobia, and although i got a lift, i made it through the day with hardly any fear!! It's a big step for me as i wouldn't go out of the house until last week.

My bf is supporting me. I take lexapro which doesn't help but i also have diazipam now, 2mg which is amazing, it reduces the panic in a second. I am pleased to say despite my panicky feelings in the morning and having to call my bf, i did not run out of the building and it passed within about 20 mins. I was so pleased!!

I'm starting the gym to get myself strong pysically and mentally. It's £65.00 a month, but well worth it, and my bf's coming too hehe.

I feel happy today, not looking forward to tom, but not dreading it which is a start, and my manager thinks i'm doing great!!

Good luck everyone on your journey to freedom, it's a long way off for me, but i'm taking things one day at a time :)

Any other tips let me know,
Thankyou!!

Love Jane xx

[kate]

Hi Jane,

So pleased to hear that today went well! Good for you!

Kate x

[Meg]

Excellent . Thats a terrific start


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[pinkscrumpy]

Well done Jane

Really proud of you hun

Love

MANDIE XX

[kairen]

well done Jane, glad you enjoyed your first day, you did really well

kairen x

[clickaway]

Well done Jane,

This new job must be giving you positive vibes to get you through it.

Now keep remembering you did it today and so can do it tomorrow...



Ray



Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself.--Alice Walker

[Piglet]

Hi Jane

That's brill mate - hope today is good too.

Are they aware of how you are at the new work or have you kept this to yourself????

Love PIgletx:D

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[Ambience]

I have kept it too myself that i have problems. If they know it will make it harder for me i think. I'm calling my doctor for a real prescription of diazipam as today was another really good day. Virtually no panic. NO PANIC ATTACK FULL STOP! I even walked outside about 10 mins to get my boss a sandwich, i did have diazipam before i left, but it's the first time in a long time i have been out on my own and felt okay. The diazipam helps so much, i know it's my bf's and i shouldn't take it, but it doesn't clash with lexapro and it was only a one off until i see the doctor.

I'm thrilled, i think this new pattern is getting better, my feet ached so much at the end of the day. I deliver the post to all the departments in the building all day, like a post office. It's scary for me walking round the building let alone outside, but now that a good habit is forming and people are showing they are happy with me i am feeling more confident in myself.

Someone from the marketing department even offered me a job today on twice the salary on , but i declined as i have already agreed a 5 week contract with facilities, and the job in marketing might be too stressful, as i suffer badly in a marketing/sales environment as it's very driven, and i promised myself that i wouldn't hurt myself emotionally again and that my health is most important over money.

Its nice to know i have options. The paid distraction idea is good, today i thought, i'm getting paid to do my therapy, if it's a little bit hard that's okay, not to beat myself up about it, as i often do, just accept myself, not to be fake, so that people like me, just to be me, and if that's not good enough, then tough. So far i'm feeling good about this all. It's still scary in the morning my worst time, but when i'm there it's okay, and there is no pressure in the job i'm doing, also it's a nice pattern, it's not a job that is requiring different things, it's stable.

I'm concentrating so much on the moment, that the future never comes, and if there is no future, and i have control over my present then there can be no fear, as long as everything in my environment in the moment is okay, which it is. I just expect the worst alot, i have stoped this now and feel that i am much happier. Maybe it'ss the drugs, or maybe i should give myself some credit for another day conquered. Standing in the face of adversity can only make you stronger right :) Until tommorow, goodnight , and thankyou all for all your support,

You are truly wonderful!!!
Sweet dreams,
Love Janey x

"There would be nothing to frighten you if you refused to be afraid." "Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it." Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. "Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." "Courage is doing what you are afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you are scared." "Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death" "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."

[Meg]

**or maybe i should give myself some credit for another day conquered.**

This one definately !!

Very well done indeed



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[Karen]

Well done Jane.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[clickaway]

Well done again, Jane, but don't start relying on those diazapem just to go to work all the time.

They can become addictive and my doctor really rations them.

But you have shown you can do it now - now try and go through the day without them.

You're doing really great,

Ray



Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself.--Alice Walker

[pips]

Well done Jane hun,

That's great news you are doing so well! Keep up the good work! All the best.

Take care,

Love PIP'S X X

[seh1980]

Nice one!! :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal