I hate myself....I am not suicidal.

[rocket]

I just hate myself so much! I am just not the person that I have always wanted to be. I am 34 /male married with three boys. I have always suffered from anxiety and deppression. Only once about 5 years ago did it take over my life. I was on meds for two years and have been off for three. I lost a good job a few months ago and have been feeling worthless since. My kids are great. I love my wife but she does not understand. When I think about myself the only word that comes to mind is HATE!! I just hate myself sooo much. It is not about the job, it is me.....I am such a failure in my life. I just wanted to post so I could get this off my chest. I would never hurt myself because of my kids. I love them and want to be in their life. I just can not get out of this. I cant stop the way I feel about myself!!!!!!!!

[GRUMPYSODKEV]

hey, rocket, been there done that got the tshirt andd the video. look at some of my previous posts. look at the good things you have acomplished, three boys. married, some of the people i come accross in my work are the same, and i was once, someone saved my life, and now i try, i look back and think of the bad things, then i try and look at what good has come out of it. you have improved being off meds. keep going, the boys and wife are worth fighting for yes? i still have bad days now. but i look at the good things at the same time and know that there will be bad days, but they don't last, look forward to the good days. it helps.

[bottleblond]

rocket

There have been many times in my life where i have felt the exact same as this. At times i feel like a failure as a mum because i can't do the things with my son that other mums do with their kids. The guilt aspect really can kick in.
The i think to myself, do i love my son? yes..... Am i a bad person? No.......Don't beat yourself up because it's what you give from your heart that makes you the person you are.

Hope you feel better soon

Lisa
x
:hugs: