Fighting social anxiety

[jen]

Hi there

This is my first time on here,
I have been suffering with anxiety for nearly 6 years now.
I have always been shy and lacked confidence and had a very low self -estem. but was able to do most things up until a few years back when things gradually went down hill!!
I used to be a community carer and i began to get anxious about small things like will i get to the clients house on time or even will i be able to find their house, eventually I was getting to the point of being sick everytime i went out, and used to have to take a carrier bag with me . I then had this fear of being sick everytime I went out. I was always sick from work because of it , and my doctor then signed me off.
Now the fear has got completly out of control , I started to fear everything then , Pubs, trips on buses (any form of transport really) seeing friends etc Up until 3 months ago i could do the shopping , now my husband or mum has to go as the fear of going is so intense.

Basically to cut a long story short im vertually now agraphobic, and have been off work for two years.

[clickaway]

Hi Jen, and welcome to the forum.

Whilst these are not my symptoms, I can tell you there are loads of people here that suffer from agoraphobia, and I can virtually guarantee that you will soon find a posting from someone who has very similar issues to you.

I historically suffer from low self-esteem and this is a very common trait amongst us all.

Do you know why you suffer? I've been on this site for six months and have found that childhood problems and major life changes such as having children can often be the cause, but there are other reasons too.

You'll find loads of support and advice here - I think we're a good bunch.

Cheers,

Ray



Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself.--Alice Walker

[jen]

Hi Ray

thanks for your reply

I think alot stems back to child hood, plus a few years back I had a number of deathes in the family , maybe this was the trigger ?! .

I agree about low self estem it does seem to be a common trait , I often wonder what its like to be confident dont you ??

jen

[Trev]

Hi Jen,
sorry to hear your story.
I got to an agrophobic stage but it was relatively brief. The thing that helped me at that stage to get out of it was a book by Claire Weekes called "Self Help For Your Nerves" which seemed to explain my situation perfectly.
I'm no expert but this book helped me loads so I thought I would tell you. (There's also an audio tape).
I've only recently found this site but it's a superb rescource in my opinion. Very helpful people.
Good luck and stick at it. You will come out of it with help.
Cheers,
Trev

[jen]

Hi Trev

Thanks for giving me the name of that book

I will have a look into that , I will try anything at the moment if it can help !!

best wishes

jen

[Trev]

No worries. I hope it helps you as much as it did me. I just found that it explained the process of what happens to you in a very clear and logical way.

I'm sure that other people on here will be able to give you much more advice and / or book titles.

Take care,
Trev

[pinkscrumpy]

Hi Jen

Welcome to the forum.

YTou will find loads of support here

love

MANDIE XX

Will I ever escape this?
Will I ever be free?
Wake me up from this nightmare.
Please just give me the key!

[jen]

Thanks Mandie already feeling at home !!!

jen xx

[nomorepanic]

Hi Jen

Welcome aboard the forum.

We have had a few very agoraphobic people on here and they have managed to get out and about again following all the advice and support you will get on here.

We believe in doing things small steps at a time so you don't overwhelm yourself with things too quickly.

Read the First Steps page on the website at www.nomorepanic.co.uk/firststeps and you may also want to try the CBT telephone recovery course that the Charity "No Panic" offer. The details of their site are on the links page.

Hope to hear more from you and let's see if we can help you to get back out there again ok?

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

[michelleann]

hi jen
welcome to the site
my advice would be to read as much as possible:D
remember your not alone just by joining the site you have made hundreds of freinds all with similer storys and symptoms but we are all here for each other that was my first step to recovery
take care
michelle xxx

[jen]

Thanks for your replys
its good knowing that there are people in the same boat
It can sometimes be lonely especially when you got people telling you to pull yourself together.
when you have low self estem thats the last thing you want to hear !!
I even find it hard using the phone especially receiving cools.
My husband has to do most things for me, and i hate it .
Im scared he will eventually give up on me !!

jen x

[tammyg]

Hi Jen,
just wanted to say a warm welcome. I only joined yesterday as well but everyone is lovely and helpful. I also have a fear of speaking on the phone, although not to the extent you do. My Mom always says 'no-one can hurt you, they are nowhere near!'. Anyway, I am sure if your husband loves you (which he must) he would not dream of 'giving up on you'.
Take care, I hope you find the support you need.
Tam x

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself"
Franklin D. Roosevelt

[jen]

hi thanks for your reply tammy

I keep telling myself he wont give up on me, and deep down i know he wont
its just sometimes i think why would he want to be with me, i feel guilty as it not just my life im ruining its his to.

just me being silly

hope you get all the support you need
take care

jen xx[^]

[Piglet]

Hi Jen

Welcome to the site and maybe you might like to come into the chatroom sometime (if you havent already).

I'm okayish if I go out with my kids or a good mate of mine but havent felt ok about being out on my own for pretty well all of this year.

I've decided to do the telephone course with nopanic (details using the links button) in fact I'm just off now to see how I register as I think I need a little more help with this.

Sure we'll talk more soon but you certainly not on your own with this thats for sure.

Love Piglet:D

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[tammyg]

Hi again!
Just wanted to say, you are not being silly. If these are your feelings then they are very real. Have you talked to your husband about this? I am sure if you did he would give you all the reassurance you need.
Tam x

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself"
Franklin D. Roosevelt

[pips]

Hi Jen,

Sorry to hear things are so bad for you at the moment.

I wanted to wish you a BIG warm welcome and hope we can be of some help to you.

Remember it takes time and small steps hun.

Take care,

Love PIP'S X X