please help

[s8ra]

Im new here and dont kno if this has any relevence to social anxiety but i have a major problem trusting people.
Everyone i meet i question what they say and try to find out whether what they've said is the truth or not.
Its a knightmare trying to have a relationship because im always wondering if they are lying to me or what they are really thinking about me.
This then makes me a really needy person in relationships who always needs reassuring, i worry about stupid things when there is no need but cant seem to get my mind to just think rationally. I seem to tie myself in knots.
I also get really bad stomach cramps when im going out to meet friends, even close ones, and feel vvv anxious, sometimes this stops me going out but then i sit and stress at home so it makes no difference wheather i go or not.
Can anyone relate to this? or am i just wierd?
What can i do to help it ?

[Jayne]

Hi s8ra.
Wow, I thought it was just me who had a problem trusting people and I do exactly the same as you, and you're qiute right, it is a nightmare!
Maybe it's to do with our own insecurity that we question everyone elses.
For me it is the worst symptom, If I could get rid of the insecurties and believe in myself and my abilities a bit more, the anxiety would subside.
But with me, the anxiety is mainly down to a lack of confidence.
And so you are certainly NOT wierd!
Have you tried the Paul McKenna cd? "Extreme Self Confidence". It has helped me qiute a lot, I just listen to it before i go to sleep. Hope this helps a bit.

Take care and Good luck!

love. Jayne xx :D

J. Morris

[jen]

hi sara

The stomach cramps are probably from being anxious , and the more you start thinking about gettingthe creamps , its more likely you will get them.

I have a similar problem with being sick and going to the toilet.
Say if my husband said right i have booked a table for tomorow night , i will start thinking oh no what if im sick on the way or worse when i get there. It will be the same thoughts for needing the toilet.
And i can gareentee because ive got myself in such an anxious state i will be sick .
Its a vicious circle.

Is this how it feels for you ?? take care jen xx[^]

[herblueness]

hi!
dont feel bad, i think everyone has felt like this at one time or another.. stress messes with my stomach too, and sometimes i feel nauseated because of the social anxieties... I have also questioned people's trust.. sometimes you just have to take risks though. If you have a gut feeling about a person, go with it.. sometimes it helps to ask people about the person, see what other people think of them. the reason i say this is- there will always be people who have known the person longer and they can usually tell you if they are trustworthy or not. It is okay to be a little suspicious.. you never know with people these days...
i admit, there's no easy way around this problem.. i still have an issue trusting people, but it doesnt hurt to give them small, insignificant chances... just dont let them borrow your favorite book or cd right away... lol
hope this helps a little

[4sure]

Hi i have been like that recently with my partner i think he chats loads of girls up wether on the net or when he goes out with his mates. I even get funny with his friends sometimes i cant believe a word they say. i know that i am being daft but i was told that its to do with my anxiety but i just cant see it.

Take care

[stardust]

Hiya, you know what, i think its just your insecurity shining through, Just relax, i worry like that too but just take a deep breath and relax.

[Daniel]

Hi
I have very similar feelings too when it comes to trusting people. I am constantly analysing what they are saying to me, I have this recurring thought; Why do my friends tolerate me? When I ask them this question I get the same reply every single time. "Because I'm your mate". Meeting new people is bad too because I'm always on the defensive asking myself why do these people want to know me amongst other things. Lately I have let my guard down a little and made a conscious effort to question my thoughts. Slowly I am starting to feel less anxoius around my friends and complete strangers. Controlling my breathing helps an awful lot too.

[Meg]

**Lately I have let my guard down a little and made a conscious effort to question my thoughts. Slowly I am starting to feel less anxoius around my friends and complete strangers. Controlling my breathing helps an awful lot too. **


Good on you Daniel.. keep it going and you will see a real difference

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[jossboss]

Hi Sara my name is Jay i just started to go on this web sit today i didn't even know it existed until today i was so pleased to find some people to talk to about what i go though i thought i was alone. i know exactly what your talking about i used be terrible i couldn't go anywhere. maybe you could talk to your doctor about this he or she may be able to give you some help. I went to see mine and got diagnosed with soical phobia. I would try and go with flow but if you do find out they talking about you etc.. then ther not really your friends. It could be they are talking about but be out of concern for you if you acting a little strangely around them which i know i did with friends. try not to worry too much im its will sort itself out.
Jay xxx