Health anxiety ruining relationships

[UFC_fan]

I always think that someone like me isn't supposed to have health anxiety, firstly I'm a guy (aged 32) and am socially very outgoing, have a flurishing career and a great family, but here I am again worrying myself silly because I had some wierd visual disturbances after doing to Kickboxing sparring the other night. I can't let it go and my anger at myself vents outwards at others.

My wife is amazing, she puts up with my outbursts and with me subliminally blaming those closest to me for not taking me seriously, why should they - I've been like this for years.

Just last week I had a Colonoscopy which yet again revealed nothing out of the ordinary, my real obsession though is my brain, I've known several people in my life either directly or friends of a friends who have died from Brain Tumours so of course I feel it's inevitable that I'll get one. I guess subconciously I'm always looking for evidence, I had floaters a few months back and had my eyes tested - no probs.

I feel the dread in my stomach as I have to face another week at work, showing initiative, leading people when I feel so weak inside from my anxieties.

But for once I'm trying to think about the impact of this stuff on relationships, my kids are too young to know except Daddy looks grumpy a lot but as I feel debilitated at times and just slump on the couch for hours refusing to move and my wife has to do everything and is walking on egg-shells around me.

I read something today that suggested I should chat to others about my health anxiety who have some experience of it rather than dragging friends and family down with me who frankly cannot emapthise with me. So here I am on this forum trying to make some sense of this affliction.:blush:

[lauren6]

Hi and welcome. This board is very helpful, you are not alone! I would like you to jot down these two books. You can get them used, cheap on Amazon, First is "Stop Worrying About Your Health" by George Zgourides. The second is "It's Not All In Your Head" by Gordon Asmundson. These are cognitive therapy based and extremely helpful. They have helped me in the middle of a panic about some impending disease that never happened.

In my own words though...I have been so certain that I had everything from cancer to hepatitis, HIV, you name it. What works for me in addition to the books is almost pretending that I am anyone else...my next door neighbor...and I realize that they wouldn't think that way at all...that it's the (fill in your name) brain that's conjuring up these catastrophic thoughts. If you can try to distance yourself from this instead of saying "that's just me and I will never change", it can help. We CAN change. It takes time, these are lifelong patterns for many of us and most therapists say that it doesn't matter so much WHY...going back to childhood for this disorder does not help as much as cognitive therapy. And that's how these books are written.

You will see an author named Claire Weeks mentioned here. She was certainly a pioneer in anxiety but there are far better books specifically targeted for our condition. Please get a hold of them to start with and I hope the great folks on this board can help you along. By the way, give yourself credit for getting your eyes tested right away. So many people are afraid to take the first step to alleviate the anxiety...they don't want bad news. I know though...we have a way of going on to the next thing just when one thing is cleared up. It's like "something has to always be brewing". We're going to find a way out of this web, together. In time :-)

[Trish]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

I don't believe for one moment that you have a brain tumour.

Not all brain tumours are deadly anyway...i know this because my husband is on his 3rd...and he's snoring his head off led at the side of me:D !! I'm the one with the HA while he just gets on with it.

It is horrid this HA for all concerned, i hope you find this forum as a great source of info...i couldn't cope without it.

I hope you feel better soon.

Trish x

[bex1970]

Welcome to the Forum. I think it's an incredibly positive start that you have come on here to try and help yourself and in the process help your family. My HA also had a huge impact on my family. My husband tried to be as tolerant and understanding as he could but I drove him mad with my permanent issues with my cancer phobia and I was always preoccupied and grumpy with my poor children (who are only 3 and 7).

I still have pretty awful health anxiety despite some counselling but coming on to this site has really helped. Pretty much everyone on here is so understanding can supportive and it helps to feel that you are not alone and also gives you people to sound off to about various concerns - rather than plaguing your wife/husband/mother!

You sound like you're having a bad time. Is it possible that you are a bit depressed as well as having the anxiety issues? I sometimes think that it's probably even harder for men as you are supposed to be the tough ones...

Anyway, I hope this site helps you and we're all here to give you as much support as we can.

I'm fairly sure you don't have a brain tumour - I have floaters too sometimes - it can be tiredness, anxiety - all sorts of things.
x

[lauramoss]

jusst read this forum does anyone think they are taking heart attacts or strokes have been up all night this isthe 1st time im driving my hubby and kids crazy

[UFC_fan]

Thanks for your replies, it seems I am not alone.

I am currently reading "Stop worrying about your health", I tried it once before but didn't get that far - my HA comes in waves and is normally helped by SSRIs eventually. I've been on/off these things for quite a few years, I've started taking them again now but sometimes forget for a few days to take them.

I may be a bit depressed at the moment, certainly it is caused by my anxieties though and not the other way around - I was clinically depressed once before and it was bad, I had panic attacks cosntantly for weeks and was confined to the house, thought I was going mad at the time but that was because I didn't understand what was happening to me have
ing had no previous experience of it.

Like many of you I obsess about symptoms, going over and over them in my head until I'm literally exhausted - this ailment truely ruins daily living at times!

I will also try to help others on this site, I've had so many symptoms of things in the past that have proven to be nothing that perhaps I can put some minds at rest even though I'll likely be worrying about something else at the same time which I'm experiencing.:weep:

[Trixie]

And I have one also.:)

[justbananas]

hey there- just keep coming to this forum every time you feel weird or experience symptoms. use the search function to search key words that you'd like to read others' experiences of or just hang out and chat. it's very helpful and will give you tools to take back to your life for coping. this site has helped me a ton.

[bex1970]

You're definitely amongst friends here - everything you have said I have heard myself say, and others. Keep coming on here - and without wanting to sound holier than thou, trying to help others can really help you... it has me.