weakerthan
20-04-09, 11:33
And here was me thinking i'd became stronger.
Saturday: Woke up panicking at 3am. Absolutely convinced of monsters/alien/other assorted child fears lurking in the shadows. Haven't has this since age 9 (when panic first started for me)
Slept most of the day, despite lovely weather. 2pm forced myself to meet a friend for lunch. Lo and behold, half way through the fear began again. Managed to struggle through, left, got halfway back to my white fiesta of safety and full-on end of living attack hit me. Since taking a fortnight off work these had died down, but it seems they're back if I do anything even REMOTELY strenuous, such as, a short walk, or shopping. This is ridiculous.
Same fear anxiety at 3am. Sure I actually saw something this time, hiding behind the tv. Noted must move tv to avoid bitey nastiness hiding. They don't pay rent, so they're not staying there.
Sunday:
Spent the day with my girlfriend. All seemed fine. Drinking was involved, sun, beer and enjoying life for once. Then sleep. Then awoke in the middle of a full on attack. No breathing. Heart stopping whenever it felt like it. Then weak pulse, wouldn't keep a fly alive for very long. Finally slept again after 3 hours of terror at 6am. Seriously ridiculous, and exhausting.
Due back at work on weds. Have no choicereally, no sick-pay aside ssp, too many debts to pay and incap wouldn't pay a quarter of them. Repeat repeat repeat...
Saturday: Woke up panicking at 3am. Absolutely convinced of monsters/alien/other assorted child fears lurking in the shadows. Haven't has this since age 9 (when panic first started for me)
Slept most of the day, despite lovely weather. 2pm forced myself to meet a friend for lunch. Lo and behold, half way through the fear began again. Managed to struggle through, left, got halfway back to my white fiesta of safety and full-on end of living attack hit me. Since taking a fortnight off work these had died down, but it seems they're back if I do anything even REMOTELY strenuous, such as, a short walk, or shopping. This is ridiculous.
Same fear anxiety at 3am. Sure I actually saw something this time, hiding behind the tv. Noted must move tv to avoid bitey nastiness hiding. They don't pay rent, so they're not staying there.
Sunday:
Spent the day with my girlfriend. All seemed fine. Drinking was involved, sun, beer and enjoying life for once. Then sleep. Then awoke in the middle of a full on attack. No breathing. Heart stopping whenever it felt like it. Then weak pulse, wouldn't keep a fly alive for very long. Finally slept again after 3 hours of terror at 6am. Seriously ridiculous, and exhausting.
Due back at work on weds. Have no choicereally, no sick-pay aside ssp, too many debts to pay and incap wouldn't pay a quarter of them. Repeat repeat repeat...