struggling!

[bluesparkle]

i am in a proper pickle!
i dont get it at all,
i have come so far and achieved so much and now ...
wham!!! panic is rife again, in fact im getting more actual panic attacks than before, it was more anxiety before.
i have had yet anouther rough night you all know how it goes cant settle heart pounding sweats etc.ive had so many of these lately.
this morning im not feeling much better either.
i am on holiday from work until thurs and last week i seemed to achive so much now i cant even go out and get in the car today (i was invited for coffee at a friends ).
i feel such a fool... why can i not get a grip on this.
my theory is a problem i have or should i say situation that by next week end will come to an end... but im not sure that is really it and if it is will i struggle more when this has happened.(my ex who many of you have supported me through the break up, will be moving and contact will stop as he has a new life beginging for him, although i will see him occasionally as he works local but i wont be able to just pick up the phone etc infact i am going to erase numbers so i dont get tempted as that is not fair).i am happy and pleased for him but worried how i will cope, i thought i had a grip on this all now but obvoiously not.
im sure this isnt the only reason why though...
i do not want this panic ... i am really struggling with it i want to be happy and enjoy life i have so much going for me ive got my kids although grown up now, and ive got a job i love.i am sick and tired of worrying and stressing.
i am so sorry this is so long i just needed to tell someone how im feeling and someone that understands.
rach

[goingmadder]

[/quote] i do not want this panic ... i am really struggling with it i want to be happy and enjoy life i have so much going for me ive got my kids although grown up now, and ive got a job i love.i am sick and tired of worrying and stressing.
i am so sorry this is so long i just needed to tell someone how im feeling and someone that understands.
rach[/quote]

Hey Rach

I know just what you mean. You get better for a while things seem to be going great and you think you've won, you're over the worst and then BAM out of no where it all comes back.. It seems to be harder than before like it gorws in its strength against all the skills you have learned to combat it... like a virus does with antibiotics.

I wish I had all the answeres hun, I totally know where your coming from when you say as above, you do not want this panic ... like you i want to be able to enjoy life

All i can say is we all need to keep reminding eachother that it will pass, and remind eachother to try and focus on more positive things...

Also, and forgive me if im barking up the wrong tree but it seems that like me you may have low self esteem and this may be adding to if not causing a lot of your anxiety... I don't know about your break up and im sorry for any distress you went through but you seem quite focused and dependant on your ex be it mentaly or emotionaly...

Perhaps learning about self esteem and how to improve it may help ease your anxiety and panic.. I know its definately something i need to do.. my self esteem is dragging on the ground and has done so for years although i never noticed.

keep your chin up huny

big hug
X

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Rach,

It could all be about your ex moving because change can be very scary. Even though you are no longer together he is still there and the known vs. the unknown is always tough for those of us with anxiety. You have listed the positives in your life and they are great so if you can focus on those it will help. I would even go so far as to write them out on a poster and hang them up somewhere so you can go back and read them when you start feeling down or panicky. It might help. You can always call even if it is long distance, if there is still a friendship. I hope you feel better soon.

Take care,

Laura

[maddie]

Hi. I agree with both the above. It's really distressing the way this thing jumps back at you just as you think you have it licked. Positivity really helps - a picture or phrases that make you feel good to remind you of the best days. Also, it helps me to jot down the date of a bad day so I can look back and realise that the time between them is getting longer. One of the things we sufferers hate most is being out of control and any change we haven't instigated throws us completely. You can do without your ex. He's a crutch and you'll miss him, but we are all here for you anytime. xx

[bluesparkle]

thank you very much...
you lot are so special...
i know i will get through this but i just dont like it right now...
it helped so much just writing down how i felt and knowing people would understand and not judge me.
rach
x

[mysonmarcus]

Hi Bluesparkle

If you really realised that what is happening in your private life is a 'trigger' (and maybe the cause) of your anxiety your mood would lift because there would be a real reason.

We focus on the symptoms, the anxiety, strange sensations and pains and miss that life stressors are the cause, and panic is the symptom.............. ANY stressor can then trigger panic! Why?...because there is a neural link formed...........a picture can envoke a memory..................a stressor= panic.

Measurement of a 'good' day or a 'good' period will invite panic in a mind still vibrating with recent anxiety.

Good day ............ bad day, no measuring necessary. Quieten the minds chatter, give your memory a time out (be strict with yourself) and then you will notice a difference within days, maybe hours.

Recovery is in the future, you will meet it there, but only if you see this YOU as you are now. Not the person you were or want to be.

When a person notes that they aren't as good as they have been then, it stresses.....................stressors are linked directly to anxiety and the rest we know.

my very best wishes to you.

Mark