Need some advice.

[angietomjimandcass]

Hi there,
Ive had painc since i wa 14 now im 25 married with two great kids.
My husband has just satred work and i feel so anxious all the time i also fell like my legs are turning into jelly and feel woozy.
My dad has just got married and gone away and i feel so alone.
Does anyone have advice i feel so frightened.:weep:

[mysonmarcus]

Hi Angie

You are one step ahead of a lot of people because you can see why you are more anxious in your words

"My husband has just satred work and i feel so anxious all the time i also fell like my legs are turning into jelly and feel woozy. My dad has just got married and gone away and i feel so alone".

Please dont try to push anxiety away, this adds tension, and please dont wish and want for changes to the way things are either such as wanting your husband with you and your dad to be around (I know his is terribly hard), this will add tension.

The problem solving part of your mind is searching for answers, answers that you wont find, this adds tension also.

Instead..............

There are 2 exercises to do.....and this is ALL you need to do for a couple of weeks.

Firstly focus your mind ONLY on 'quiet' (initially tough, later very easy), reduce he chatter. Take time with this.

Secondly, immerse yourself in something that requires this problem solving part of your mind to focus on other things. Cooking, music, puzzles, ddrawing and painting and exercise (if you can) etc etc but not on the ironing or hoovering as this is taken care of by habit. Dont look for great success just 'do'.

Dont try to think positively, even though this is recommended, the anxious state does not allow this, it increases tension. ...... nor try to distract yourself as these are 'coping' mechanisms and only and give rise to frantic/fidgety agitation. Just look for quiet in the thoughts.

Take 2 weeks doing this and you will notice a difference.

My very best wishes to you.

Mark

[mysonmarcus]

....................oh and I forgot to mention it will be very helpful to reduce your obligations at this point in the same way you would have to if you broke a bone or got a dose of the Flu................

Mark

[angietomjimandcass]

Im not to bad now but have the constant fear i am going to pass out, and i have two kids and the school run is a two hour walk for me a day.
How do i get rid of this tention and spaced out feeling.?

[mysonmarcus]

Hi angie

Please dont try to 'get rid' of these feelings, its not possible this way, adjust your obligations to compensate for how you are right now..........no quick fix I am afraid. The tension and spaced out feeling will reside with you for some time................live with it and go with it to he best of your ability.

Any other way will result in rising tension and an increase of feelings with nerves remaining on edge.

my best wishes to you

Mark

[angietomjimandcass]

Well, I totally broke down yesterday and told my husband and now I dont think he like me very much.
My mother in law is coming to spend the day with me today and take my son to school.
I just want to be normal, its so hard to carry on like this.