Newbie, and suffering!

[crieddyled]

Hi everyone, this is my first time here, but I am feeling so bad that I broke my silence!

I have been suffering from anxiety and panic for a few years now - am on ceroxat. Normally, it's under control and I can go about my daily life no problems.

But currently I am in Greece! This would normally seem like a wonderful thing, but in the past few years I seem to have developed a kind of agoraphobia in relation to travel. I have travelled quite a lot as part of my PhD (conferences, etc), and always seem to travel by myself. Instead of making me feel more independent and strong, it's had the opposite effect. I am in Athens at the moment, and a few years ago I was here and I got so bad I had to come home early. I started feeling bad yesterday at the thought of coming back (scene of previous crimes!), plus I am a nervous flyer. I've been away since that time in Athens and been bad for the 1st few days and then got better, but right now I am feeling terrible. I feel jittery, twitchy, 'fizzy', if that makes any sense, my breathing is quite ragged and I am on the verge of tears all the time. To make it worse I have just been into a bar and in Greece they don't have the smoking ban (which I thought they did!). Smoking makes me feel terrible - like having a panic attack. I do not sleep and feel awful the whole next day.

I am so scared I won't feel better the whole time I am here. I am here for a conference until sunday, but after that I said I would visit a friend and I feel bad if I let her down. But now I feel so bad I don't know what else to do!

Sorry to go on for so long with my 1st post! Hope I haven't bored you.

[Angelai]

Hi, and welcome to NMP.

I'm sorry you're feeling so rotten, especially being away from home. I totally understand the 'fizzy' thing (unfortunately!)

Do you have any 'coping strategies' that work for you back home? I've been in your situation and I know how impossible it seems to overcome the panic, but you WILL get through it. You have every other time, right? Worst case, it won't pass until you're back home. I really hope that isn't the case, just remember that's the worst that could happen. I hope that doesn't sound unfeeling, it's not meant to.

When you go to bed, go through the tense/relax routine - starting with your toes, really tense the muscles there, then slowly relax. Repeat a couple of times, then move on to your feet, ankles, lower legs etc. The harder you tense, the more dramatic the sensation when you relax. Sometimes I might go through my whole body twice, usually I'm asleep before that.

During the day, if things are really bad, I talk to/shout at myself (in my head :D ) and keep moving/fidgeting. I may look like a complete freak but it gets to the point where what people think of me is the least of my worries!

I hope things get better for you x

[duskess]

Hello and wecome to NMP , Lots of help and advice , have a look at the menu , take care , best wishes , Dusky x

[Southern_Belle]

Hi,

Welcome to NMP. Many can relate to how you are feeling and will give their support. I can relate to not liking to be around smoke and perhaps you can find an outdoor bar and get a table on the outskirts of the facility. Try and hang in there with deep breathing and focus on the present not the future. I know that I too have problems with flying and sometimes almost ruin my trips by worrying so much about flying there and then the whole time I'm on vacation worry about flying home. If I try and live in the moment (and it is very hard to do) it helps me. Glad you found us.

Take care,

Laura

[Veronica H]

:bighug1: You are sensitising your nerves by anticipating what will happen. focus on today only. Try not to think too much. Accept that you are stressed and try to relax. When you have dealt with the conference, then see how you feel about going on to your friend. Forget the flight.You have done it before and it will be ok. Stop beating yourself up about failure, there will be many other people attending the conference who feel tired and vulnerable because they are away from home, but also glad that they are out there doing something interesting....it goes with the territory.

Veronica

[crieddyled]

Hi everyone, thanks for the lovely words! Am still feeling a bit odd but we'll see how it goes. Not sleeping is the worst (it just makes everything 10 times worse) so we'll see how it goes. Am in a nice hotel in Sparta now.

Rationally I know there is nothing to be scared of and my physical symptoms are just excess anxiety and adrenlin, but telling myself that doesn't always help!

Thanks again!

P.S. Another thing is that whenever I am exposed to smoke in cigarettes I feel like I have a panic attack - my breathing gets ragged, my heart beats 'heavier', etc, and the next day I feel hungover. So I try and avoid cigarette smoke. Alas, in Greece everyone smokes everywhere, so I think that is playing into my worries too.

[lorac]

Hi

Welcome to the site, I think you will find many people on here who will understand how you feel and you will get lots of good support and advice on here.

Carol

[kittykat]

Hi there and :welcome: to the site, lots of good advice and support on here, the chatroom is very good as well, take care x