SO sad :(

[Stressed32]

I know this is not an infertility forum, but I need to vent and do not expect any replies...but I am so sad and cant stop crying.

For 3 years we have been trying to have a baby. I had an ectopic and nothing since. Fertility drugs, IUI, nothing has worked. In the meatime, I get to watch everyone around me get preg. so easy. At the start of my school year, my co-worker got preg. on her 2nd try and I have had the pleasure of watching her tummy grow each and every day. I was doing ok with it all, until today, her baby shower. I did not go because I knew I could not handle it. After work, I went to buy her a gift...and that was worse than the darn shower....God, why can't I get pregant? I hate baby shopping and now I am back at square 1....hating everthing else in my life b/c one thing is missing. I feel like I went 1 step forward and 50 back....:weep:

[PUGLETMUM]

:hugs: hello, im also so sorry that you are suffering - i do have a child so i know how lucky i am, but due to 2 miscarriages, relationship, money worries and my advancing age (37 in august) i am not acheiving my dream of having another child - an di too am finding it hard to deal with - we just think things will go our way dont we? the dreams we have when we are younger, dont always happen?

i think the key is finding ways to cope with this situation, if you cant change it? but you may be able to have a child but in the meantime obviously the whole situation is making you sad and distressed - look after yourself, even if you dont realise the dream to have a child naturally you may be able to adopt or you may decide to go on as you are - your life matters with or without children - but i do know how painful this is - im not sure i could write allof this if i didnt already have my daughter? but i know that you cant give up your own happiness if you remain childless:hugs:

[Stressed32]

Thanks for your responses. I am a bit better this morning b/c I am at work...but not really. I just feel sad....I have not been this worked up over the baby thing for quite some time...since Christmas. I made the decision that my life and marriage were good and if we had a child great, if not that was fine too....then I spent 5 hours in the baby department shopping for things for someone else and it hit me all over again :(
Thanks for your support ladies.

[PUGLETMUM]

:) yes it does this to me - afte rmy last miscarriage i thought i wasnt bothered -id been terrified of ectopics - no reason to be but my daughte rwas frightened i would die having a baby and it sort of freaked me out that something bad could happen to me , (the discomfort i was feeling and the discahrge were th emissed miscarriage not an ectopic!)- so i felt okay for afew months -then with my friend being pregnant too, i also started to feel bad - i couldnt look at pregnant women - except my friend - and i couldnt look at families with babies and small children - now im still fantasising about having a baby even though my relatiaonship is crap - i even went on emmas diary yesterday and worked out my fertile days for the next 6 months:blush: :weep: i seem to be gettign more obsessed not less - i imagine being pregnant, and having a baby even though i dont think im strong enough to do it -at times this urge is torture - but i can only imagine your sadness - mine is less becasue i have my daughter - i am so sorry for you - but you willl feel strong again, and then you can think where to go from there? have you considered adopting?