Im really really struggling

[lotte_82]

Im struggling wihth this life at the minute, i dont know where im going and who i am at the moment....im in a black place and i cant cant see any light...

Im tired of it
Im empty, im dead inside
everyday is a battle, i canteven cry anymore,
i dont smile
i dont laught
i feel dead
im cold
my hear t wont stop pounding
my moods is low, i have had enough
i feel sick
my legs are heavy
i cant even get out of bed
i hate this :weep:

I dnt even have the energy anymore

[Southern_Belle]

Hi,

You must fight to get your life back. Force yourself to get out of bed, showered and do one thing a day. I do know this is not easy but if you do not the darkness of depression can take over. I do hope you are seeing a doctor and are getting counseling. These are classic signs of depression and you wrote it so well. Please try and get some help because it is out there but you have to make the first move. We are always here for support and the chatroom is a great place to talk about things.

Do take care,

Laura

[PUGLETMUM]

:hugs: dear lotte, you can go on coz you posted how you feel, so you do still care - from wha tive learnt its this constant struggle to free ourselves from misery that takes us further and further down - what started this depression? is there an dunderlying reason/event that triggered it? do you have help/family friends etc - are you under a doctor/mental health team?

i dont know your story, but id like to try and help and be there for you to help yourself out of this black hole - it is doable - i was depressed for well over a year and now im not and havent been again fro well over a year - i have had episode after episode and i have never felt good about myself - now thanks to jon kabat zinn i have learnt to stop struggling - i feel bad, but it doesnt last - it comes and goes in waves if i dont resist it and it isnt permanent - once you stop struggling and accept you will start to feel better - and also once you stop putting yourself down - depression is a real and treatable illness - please seek help if you havent already and keep talking on nmp - the hardest part of depression for me isthe fact hat no-one can see, sometimes ppl dont care and you yourself no matter how bad you feel have to actually tell ppl how you feel and ask for help - it just isnt fair!:hugs:

[Tori Frances]

Hi Lotte, we have spoken before I think - pm me if you want.
I know how you feel , we all do, yet we all also know that although we have times like this where life is absolute hell we do come out of it eventually and experience hope and joy again. A combination of medication and therapy works for a lot of people. With a doctor and therapist you will find the right combination for you. Who is looking after you Lotte? Any family/friends.
I am also going through a hellish time, but am battling on. I have have episodes like this before and come out the other side. Sometimes I feel there is no hope but if you read others stories on here you can see that there is.

[lotte_82]

:weep: Hi everyone :blush:

Thank you so very much for your kind words and support.....I am feeling so low at the minute....the amount of self harming i am doing has increased dramatically and the number of laxatives i take on a daily basis has not reduced at all :weep: ........

I dont/cant shower,I dont dress I just cant do anything

On the plus side I have been referred urgently to the Community Mental Health Team (just waiting now for some sort of contact)

I have very little support from my family....my husband just does not understand.....The only relief I have had really is from ringing the Samaritans a couple of times, here and a little from my DR

Anyway just wanted to say thank you so very much
xxxxxxxx

[amandaj]

hopefully the mental health team will get you up and running again so to speak hope you hear very soon from them if you ever need to chat im always on here
amandax

[PUGLETMUM]

:hugs: we all want to be here for you to help you through this dark time as much as we can - please keep posting and reading and dont apologise for asking for help or for having a moan - thats why ppl stick around here to help and to get help - you can and will get better, just hold on:hugs:

[lemongrass6]

Sometimes when I have had periods (sometimes long ones!) of this nature. Of wanting to do nothing and lack of energy for anything. I find that it helps me to just get a huge bunch of dvds that I have seen and loved or want to see. I lie in bed with hot chocolate and biscuits (or any of your favourite treats) and just watch films. I don't pressure myself to get out of bed or 'do' anything I just exist. Sometimes a decent friend is nice to have with you but more often than not it's just a case of sitting it out. I hope you can give this a try at the very least you will get a little kick from having some "you" time. : ) x