Help needed

[LisaLisa]

I really hope someone can help me to feel a bit less stressed about this, its really scared me.

I have been really really scared about hiv for along long time, feels like forever Before that i worried that i had thyroid cancer and lymphoma. But the hiv thing has really gotten out of control for me because i googled loads ages ago and now im just petrified because seem to have soooooo many signs.

It started with being able to feel glands in my neck and then having a dry mouth and them finding a lump in my cheek and then i started to notice all this weird hair growth and period issues. I freaked out so I went to GUM and got tested and the result was negative. I didnt beleive it so I went back again and they said they would test me againfor my peace of mind - it was negative again. At the same time i asked my dr to do a test and that was negative too. and then as part of antenatal tests, i got tested again and that was also negative. So i tried to calm down about it. Only the symptoms seemed sooo similar that i started to doubt the resluts again and wenton interenet again and was horrified to read that there are loads of different strains and that tests dont detect them all. So now iam in constant fear and anxiety that i definately have it and noone is helping me and i am running out of time and that my partner and my baby are both giong to die and its my fault. I have posted this before and folks were really helpfull .

The reason i am posting again is that i am very scared about this horrible tight gripping sensation i have been gettingin my stomach and really bad reflux which i never had before having my baby six months ago. Also i keep getting muscle pain and the mood swings are really unbearable now although i had that a little before i was pregnant. It just feels like something is getting worse and it seems so much like the normal course of HIV.

Can anyone help me becasue i dont know what to do next. Im being labeled as an attention seeker and hypochondriac and im so scared and alone. I have tried everything to get more tests but every door is closing.

Sorry to drain everyone again

Lisa
xxx

[Trish]

Lisa

I'm sorry your feeling so stressed about HIV but really love you have had what...3 negative tests, i'd be pretty convinced after that i was clear of HIV.

You are suffering anxiety sweetheart....Nothing more!

You have a lovely 6 month old baby try and focus and enjoy her/him coz they are not babies long. Do you think you could have a touch of post natal depression?

You have NOT got HIV, please believe it!

Wishing you all good things:)

Trish x

[samc100]

You don't have HIV Lisa.
But you have to stop looking for it (I know much easier said than done). You need your energy and focus on your family. Please put that energy into your baby cos' they ain't little for long.
The stomach issues could be stress related. I did wonder if they were related to childbirth but I doubt that very much.

I have to ask this - Post Natal Depression? It can sneak up anytime not just in the first few months. What's your Health Visitor like? Can you chat to her? She will have seen lots of mummies who have PND and can usually identify if you are on that zone.

I think you should go and have a chat with the Dr. Tell them everything or just print off your post on here. I think you need reassurance then some help in how to not let this overtake your mind.

[bex1970]

Four negative tests - NO HIV...... Lisa you don't have HIV - there is just no way that four tests could be wrong!

But PND is a possibility - and you definitely have severe anxiety - but no way do you have HIV!

Please see your GP or speak to your heath worker about the possibility of being depressed.... it can strike any time after having a baby and manifest itself as severe anxiety too....

You poor thing because you're obviously going through hell because of it. Try some zantac (strong indigestion pills.... pretty good ones too and available over the counter) and see if that helps the reflux at all..

xxx

[lorac]

Hi Lisa

You don't have HIV, you have health anxiety. Please try and believe that after having three tests done, each one showing negative, the doctors are certain that you don't have it.

Health anxiety is horrible I have had it for years and you wouldn't believe some of the things I have imagined I have. My health anxiety started just after the birth of my first child 21 years ago and I am still here to tell the tale so try not to worry.

Enjoy your baby Lisa and forget the HIV.

Carol x

[worriedem]

there is noway you have hiv hun you really need to stop looking it up and try and block it out if your mind, i know how you feel it was once a major fear for me even after two negative tests i still worried! after the third in my pregnancy i finally thought ok thats it i need to stop thinking this now.

you may have a bit of pnd, my baby has just turned a year and over the past. 6 months i have been obsessed with my health issues so can totally relate to what its like xxx

[LisaLisa]

Thanks to everyone.

Im feeling a lot better at the moment but i know that may change again. just trying to think of nice things and keep busy. Thanks for your support everyone

Lisa
xxx