becciboo
25-04-09, 16:58
Hi everyone, Ive been feeling anxious for around 3-4 weeks now.This is my story (sorry for the long post).
I think I am anxious because I had a bad feeling when I was very stoned/high on marijuana, it might have been a ‘whitey’ (when someone is really high and has an overload of thc in the body). Because I’d heard so much about whiteys, that they are really bad and there’s no worse feeling, and I’ve never had one before the experience I’m telling you about- I began to panic, and had a panic attack. It was such a shock because I’d been smoking weed for 2 years with no problems and really enjoyed it. The attack lasted for around 3 hours, with 5 minute intervals of me feeling ok then panicky again, feelings of doom, unreality, sadness, confusion and guilt were present.
The day after the panic attack I remembered how I felt and have now developed an anxiety towards feeling like i did when i thought i was going to have a ‘whitey’.
That is the reason behind my anxiety/worry – nothing else,. Because of the worry and anxiety over the initial panic attack/ feeling of the ‘whitey’, I now have anxiety most days about things that would not cause worry to me previously, small things that don’t matter. I get anxiety symptoms such as being in my own head, fear of losing control, fear of going mad. But now I know what the cause of my anxiety is, I can understand the cause of my worries/anxiety and reassure myself that I’m thinking false thoughts to what I actually do feel like. Thoughts are just thoughts and have no weight. I’m scared I will feel like I’m having a whitey/feel like I’m losing grip on reality, but these are just outcomes and thoughts from the anxiety that is fooling my brain. I don’t really feel like this, I just think I do - because I believe everything I feel must be right. This is WRONG and just an effect of anxiety /worry/stress. Often thoughts that we have about things are false and just our minds doing overtime. There is nothing wrong with me; I am just worrying over something that will probably never happen again because I’ve stopped smoking/taking drugs.
I need to let go of the feelings I had when I thought I was going to ‘whitey’ and never forget that the reason I felt that way was because I was under the influence of a drug which altered the chemicals in my brain, and without this drug, the likelihood of me feeling that way again is nonexistent.
Because I went for a couple of weeks not knowing what the cause of my anxiety was- I developed thoughts that I was going mad and questioned my own existence, e.g.; why am I here? What is life? These thoughts were scary to me because I did not have an answer for them. They caused me to lose grip on reality and become anxious over things I did not have answers for.
I am trying to think of my anxiety as a friend and as a kind of protection that my body has given me to warn me off using drugs. I’m trying to ‘make friends’ with it and not be scared of it. I realise that the more I try to ignore or fight the anxiety symptoms the worse it will be, to accept them and to know they are there and not be afraid is a huge part of the battle. To recognise and to know the symptoms of anxiety is so important. To understand that I am NOT going mad, that its just a symptom of anxiety gives me some relief. I suffered with bad derealisation and depersonalisation as a result of the stress of anxiety. And to know that these symptoms are normal is another relief for me.
I just wanted to share my experiences and to ask people how they cope with anxiety, and if anybody has any tips?
thanks
I think I am anxious because I had a bad feeling when I was very stoned/high on marijuana, it might have been a ‘whitey’ (when someone is really high and has an overload of thc in the body). Because I’d heard so much about whiteys, that they are really bad and there’s no worse feeling, and I’ve never had one before the experience I’m telling you about- I began to panic, and had a panic attack. It was such a shock because I’d been smoking weed for 2 years with no problems and really enjoyed it. The attack lasted for around 3 hours, with 5 minute intervals of me feeling ok then panicky again, feelings of doom, unreality, sadness, confusion and guilt were present.
The day after the panic attack I remembered how I felt and have now developed an anxiety towards feeling like i did when i thought i was going to have a ‘whitey’.
That is the reason behind my anxiety/worry – nothing else,. Because of the worry and anxiety over the initial panic attack/ feeling of the ‘whitey’, I now have anxiety most days about things that would not cause worry to me previously, small things that don’t matter. I get anxiety symptoms such as being in my own head, fear of losing control, fear of going mad. But now I know what the cause of my anxiety is, I can understand the cause of my worries/anxiety and reassure myself that I’m thinking false thoughts to what I actually do feel like. Thoughts are just thoughts and have no weight. I’m scared I will feel like I’m having a whitey/feel like I’m losing grip on reality, but these are just outcomes and thoughts from the anxiety that is fooling my brain. I don’t really feel like this, I just think I do - because I believe everything I feel must be right. This is WRONG and just an effect of anxiety /worry/stress. Often thoughts that we have about things are false and just our minds doing overtime. There is nothing wrong with me; I am just worrying over something that will probably never happen again because I’ve stopped smoking/taking drugs.
I need to let go of the feelings I had when I thought I was going to ‘whitey’ and never forget that the reason I felt that way was because I was under the influence of a drug which altered the chemicals in my brain, and without this drug, the likelihood of me feeling that way again is nonexistent.
Because I went for a couple of weeks not knowing what the cause of my anxiety was- I developed thoughts that I was going mad and questioned my own existence, e.g.; why am I here? What is life? These thoughts were scary to me because I did not have an answer for them. They caused me to lose grip on reality and become anxious over things I did not have answers for.
I am trying to think of my anxiety as a friend and as a kind of protection that my body has given me to warn me off using drugs. I’m trying to ‘make friends’ with it and not be scared of it. I realise that the more I try to ignore or fight the anxiety symptoms the worse it will be, to accept them and to know they are there and not be afraid is a huge part of the battle. To recognise and to know the symptoms of anxiety is so important. To understand that I am NOT going mad, that its just a symptom of anxiety gives me some relief. I suffered with bad derealisation and depersonalisation as a result of the stress of anxiety. And to know that these symptoms are normal is another relief for me.
I just wanted to share my experiences and to ask people how they cope with anxiety, and if anybody has any tips?
thanks