hello

[monsterskip]

Hi,

I came across this site as I am trying to help my boyfriend. We've been seeing each other on and off for almost a year. Before I met him he suffered two long periods of anxiery and was off long term sick. He was on medication which he weaned himself off after a couple of months of dating me.

Our relationship has been difficult as while I am extremely fond of him, his feelings towards me change from being head over heels in love. to wanting to split up with me and have no more contact. I believe his anxiety has been much of the cause of this unsettled behaviour. Lately he has opened up to me & tells me when he is feeling depressed or anxious. Often work is a trigger and has been the cause of a great deal of stress lately. I love him and want to support him as best as I can, but I am not always sure of the best way to handle the situation. Should I be there for him, or should I back off and give him space? Should I encourage him to go back to his GP or have more counselling?

Any advice gratefully received. Thanks for reading, H xx

[michelleann]

hi h
people underestimate how awful and b****y scary anxiety is so its nice to see someone that cares and has took the time to help your boyfriend we normally come across people that tells us to "get a grip" or "pull yourself together" your boyfreind is really lucky to have someone like you and it must have been hard for him to tell you about it as most of us here tend to keep it quiet and to ourselves me myself was embarresd and felt if people new they would look out for my sypmtoms. my advice would be to carry on being as you are and if possible ask him to come on the site and read all the info and all the posts we have done and he will realise he is not alone, we also have a great support system here and there is loads of success storys so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. it just might take a bit of time and hard work but we will all get there im sure:D
take care hunny
michelle xxx

[seh1980]

Welcome aboard!! :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

[Karen]

Hi monsterskip

Welcome to the forum.

It is great that you are so supportive of your boyfriend and out there looking for help for him.

Supporting someone with anxiety or depression problems can place a strain on you too, as well as on your relationship. It can also be difficult for the person concerned to admit to having these problems and to seek help.

I would suggest continue being supportive and encouraging him to tackle the issues and possibly to see his doctor for referral for CBT. Unfortunately though you cannot do this for him and he is the one who has to take that first step.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[Meg]

Hello H,

Often the sufferer doesn't knwo what to do for the best for themselves never mind knowing what others can do to help.

Understanding of both conditions, particularly anxiety is very helpful so he understands what is happening to him.

The relationship swings in his intensity are often swings deneding on whether he feels he is going to ever be well enough for you both to have a normal relationship due to him feeling so dreadful.

If you want to help - being there in the background and maintaining as much normality as possible yet being gentle and understanding is the best course of action.

As far as counselling is concerned - he needs CBT more than general counselling.

If work is an identifiable trigger can you see ways that you can discuss so that the work issues can be managed differently by him .




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[jill]

Hi H

WELCOME TO THE SITE :D

LOVE JILLXXX