milly.lisa
26-04-09, 23:44
Hello,
I just got accepted to medical school, about 4 hours away from where I am currently living with my boyfriend of over 4 years. I will be graduating undergrad in May and moving in July. My boyfriend is moving with me, so he is currently searching for a job (He graduated a year ago).
At first, I was very very excited. Then it turned into anxiety and panic. I want to become a doctor and I am thrilled about attending medical school. But for some reason, I'm having anxiety. I have had anxiety my whole life. I am on medication, and I thought I had a hold on it. But now, it's there again.
I have irrational thoughts that I can't stop. First, let me say that I absolutely love my boyfriend. We are perfect together. We are best friends, and we love doing the same things. We have lived together for a couple years already. But when I am anxious, I seem to fixate on something, and worry about it none stop. And the past few months, it's been our relationship.
When I am "myself", I feel happy and I have no doubts of my love for him. But when I am anxious, I keep having these "What ifs" going through my head. I know they are just due to my anxiety, and I try not to dwell on it, or else it gets really bad. But I am sick of them.
I don't want to worry about things like this. I am so happy with my boyfriend, and it drives me crazy that I keep wondering.."Do I really love him", "How do you know what love is?", etc. This only happens when I'm anxious, and I know that now, I am anxious because of all the big changes that are coming up.
Please, help. I know it won't just go away, but it always feels better to have advice or at least talk about it. Talking about it makes me realize how irrational it is. But in the moment, it's hard to tell.
Milly
I just got accepted to medical school, about 4 hours away from where I am currently living with my boyfriend of over 4 years. I will be graduating undergrad in May and moving in July. My boyfriend is moving with me, so he is currently searching for a job (He graduated a year ago).
At first, I was very very excited. Then it turned into anxiety and panic. I want to become a doctor and I am thrilled about attending medical school. But for some reason, I'm having anxiety. I have had anxiety my whole life. I am on medication, and I thought I had a hold on it. But now, it's there again.
I have irrational thoughts that I can't stop. First, let me say that I absolutely love my boyfriend. We are perfect together. We are best friends, and we love doing the same things. We have lived together for a couple years already. But when I am anxious, I seem to fixate on something, and worry about it none stop. And the past few months, it's been our relationship.
When I am "myself", I feel happy and I have no doubts of my love for him. But when I am anxious, I keep having these "What ifs" going through my head. I know they are just due to my anxiety, and I try not to dwell on it, or else it gets really bad. But I am sick of them.
I don't want to worry about things like this. I am so happy with my boyfriend, and it drives me crazy that I keep wondering.."Do I really love him", "How do you know what love is?", etc. This only happens when I'm anxious, and I know that now, I am anxious because of all the big changes that are coming up.
Please, help. I know it won't just go away, but it always feels better to have advice or at least talk about it. Talking about it makes me realize how irrational it is. But in the moment, it's hard to tell.
Milly