Have i done the right thing

[name]

I had my first panic attack in weeks last nite and another this morn. My anxiety is going thru the roof and my depression falling again. My partner is a drug addict as some of u no and i dont want to keep repeating myself and boring everyone but on firday i turned ny bk on him not because i wanted to but because i refuse to watch him kill himself and to protect my kids. He is in the chronic stages of addiction and the only thing left is death his family and i believe any day now that i am gonna find him dead sorry to be so morbid but this is so hard. Turning my bk on him is killing me and we have a son together who is 16 mths and i no he misses him terrible because of all this the last 3 days have been hell. I am finding it so hard to leave my room and i have had 2 panic attacks i hadnt had any panci in the last few weeks i cant sleep and my anxiety is making me beyong the point of exaustion. I dont no if iv done the right thing more for him and the kids rather than me. What i set out to do was take everything from him as they say an addict wont stop till they hit bottom my fear is that he doesnt have enuf time left to hit bottom so im trying to hutty it sounds mad yes i no but he is at thsi stage near death and after 27 hospital admissions 2 rounds of rehat 10 detoxes at home with me and coma theres nothing left.Have i dont the right thing ? Many say walk away let him go its his choice its up to him but i love him very much and there kids involved hes a brilliant guy outside of this but right now the fear of whats going to happen cause of what iv done is terrifying me and im gonna downhill it feels at rapid speed. When i was with him i had some control over the amount he took but now that im no longer there for him he has a free road to take as much as he like basically i want to no have i dont the right thing? or am i responsible if somthing happenes to him now cause i walked away and stoped all contact with me and the kids ?

Name

[bottleblond]

Hiya Name

My goodness, that is a very difficult situation to be in. :hugs:
In my opinion, i think you are doing what is right for you and your children.
You have done so much for your partner by the sounds of things and the situation has not improved. So i say it's time to think of you and your kids.

I hope by you not being there, your partner will get a shock and seek help.

Whatever happens, i really do hope it works out for you!
Take care
Lisa
xxx

[maddie]

In no way are you responsible for the outcome of this. You are not putting the drugs into him - he is doing that of his own choice. I have worked with adicts, and the only way is to let them hit the bottom and make the choice for themselves to change. I'm very sorry if for you if it is too late for your boyfriend. It doesn't sound like you can take anymore. If he doesn't change, how could the children cope with this? I think you have to do what is right for you and the children. Hopefully he will realise in time what he could be losing. xx

[Oceanblue]

Yes, you are definately doing the right thing and like you say you love him very much, unfortunately in these circumstances you do have to be cruel to be kind.

This is the very best thing you can do, although devasting. As you already know, people with heavy addictions usually always have to hit rock bottom before turning themselves around. He may use this against you at first, but try and remember this is the best thing for you to do, and be strong for both yourself and children.

My ex was an alcoholic and so was my dad. The hospital admissions, rehabs etc just became unbareable. In the end we have to walk away, you must keep hold of your own healthy mental wellbeing and not let him drag you down with him. Your children need at least one stable parent, they need you and it sounds like you have been doing a brilliant job. You must stay strong and have faith in yourself.

It's a horrid situation to be in, it lasted for years with myself too, I then began having problems myself,.. my mental stability became thin glass.
Don't let this happen to you, walk away whilst you're strong enough to. I promise you, you are doing only but the very best thing, not only for yourself and children, but for him too !!

Take good care of yourself and children xxx:flowers: