Please help

[nikkinik]

I feel like Ive been on the edge for a few days now.

Ive been waking up exhausted, achey, fatigued etc, the usual. Ive also been feeling sick and got the usual feeling like Ive been punched in the stomach, at times the pain has made me feel like Id be sick.

I woke up this morning and I was aching all over, it took the usual 20mins to get moving. I just lay there for those 20mins feeling utterly depressed. Im sick of having the same day.. drop my son off school, force myself to tidy up, watch tv while I eat my lunch.. do more stuff at home if I dont feel like dropping(!), then go pick him up, feed him, reluctantly play (I have zero energy and motivation), then bedtime and the worry over whether I will actually sleep, if I'll wake in a panic, or even whether I'll be able to settle in the first place.

Today I came back from dropping him off, did what I needed to do on the pc, forced down breakfast, tidied a tiny bit, forced down lunch and then decided I shouldnt just be sitting there feeling like cr*p (mentally and physically) and that I should tidy properly.. so I scrubbed 2 bathrooms.. ok, sounds like nothing, but for me its alot(!).

Later on when it came to dropping my son off I walked down the stairs and realised my legs felt like jelly, like Id been running.. I tried to be rational with myself (All the while in the back of my mind Im thinking 'whats wrong with me, my legs aching are just another thing to add to the list of feeling sick, no energy, aching etc etc), and I told myself it was just from cleaning etc.
Then I opened the door, took one step out and terror just came over me, like I just wanted to run back inside and not go out.. of course I couldnt do that, no one else could pick my son up if I did.

Then just now I started to panic, I realised all day Ive not been able to think straight, theres no voices in my head (yet.. Im sure thats next!), but everything is sort of fuzzy.. Like Ive not slept for 2 weeks and am unable t think straight.

Whats happening, what can I do to make things better. Ive tried getting on with it, reading a book , watching tv, general distraction, its not helping.

I dont know what to do. Im so miserable right now.

[Bluebelle]

Hello Nikkinik
You are a super strong person I am so impressed with your ability to keep functioning. It is really scary sometimes when these things start happening to us, especially when we don't know why.
I think it is really good that you're trying to eat- not eating can start to cause all sorts of problems. I think it is a really positive thing you're doing by keeping yourself busy with cleaning sometimes I find that it tires me out physically and helps me at sleepytime.
Have you thought about going to see your GP - I think this might be helpful.
I am sorry you're feeling so miserable but you're not alone and I am sending you a big hug -I hope you're feeling better.
Take Care
Bluebelle

[Oceanblue]

Hiya,

If you haven't already, ask your GP for a blood test to check your thyroid, it could be underactive.

Hope you feel better soon. x:flowers:

[goingmadder]

Hi Niknik,

Sounds to me like you're suffering from a bout of the blues honey, which is nothing to be afraid of although this is easier said than done.

Feeling low, loss of motivation can make you feel lathargic and yet wrestless, confused, worrying about these things can make you anxious and the physical side of anxiety can incluse shaky numb legs because in your anxiety your body releases adrenaline which rushes through you're body hence why you feel like you've been on a mad dash even though you've done little exercise... ALl of these things can be scary but rest assured you are not alone and it can be sorted out hun...

You've already taken the first step, by coming here and asking for help so well done you... also you've pushed yourself to go beyon what your symptoms want you to do and have maintained your daily routine inspite of feeling so low ... again WELL DONE YOU!...

Obviously there are lots of reasons one may feel lethargic and its always a good idea to rule these out like Katie mentioned THyroid, also anemia probably quite a few other things, that can all be detected or ruled out with simple blood tests so for your own peace of mind go check it out...

From what you're saying sounds to me like you would benefit from a life revamp... You feeling bogged down and bored of the same old routine, feeling like you've lost your identity and being taken for granted.. Im not saying you have been or are but its how you're feeling inside and so its real to you...

Your days roll into one long day with little to look forward to as happens to SOOOOOOO many people, but especially mothers...

Sit down and have a think of all the things that you enjoy doing, things that have made you feel on top of the world in the past that you may have stopped doing over time... hobbies, friends, ... it may be difficult at first because you motivation is down but even if it takes a few days of jotting down things when they pop in your head, things you'd like to accomplish, or see or learn...

Also and this is something that I found an important step for me... Look at your daily routine and decide whats really important... List out priorities.. what HAS to be done every day, dropping off and collecting your son, spending time playing with him... What can you afford to do everyother day, some of the cleaning, what can you afford to do once every 3-5 days ..and so on... The world will not end because the house isn't spring cleaned on a daily basis... and prioritising things will give you the spare time you need to do the things you really would like to do...

Just a few examples,

Go for a walk,
Go for a coffee,
Meet new people - perhaps theres a mothers coffee morning, speak to the school or your local church or even the local library or Citizens advice...
I know how hard it is to stay in touch with friends who work or don't have kids...
Pick a subject you really enjoy, anything at all and find out about courses you can do from home ... from reflexology, reiki to business management anything at all that tickles your interest....
Learn an instrument
write poems or songs (this is my fave past time) I find anxiety & depression can provide great inspiration for music...

I hope these things help you feel better honey... PM anytime you like

Big Hugs

XX