I need to talk to someone please i cant get into chat.

[Nicola_lou]

I'm home alone and I feel so ill. My chest is heavy my left side as gone numb and I'm controlling my breathing I'm afraid I'm going to stop breathing if I don't watch it, is that possible. My boyfriend is nights don't get home till 6 and I just know I'm going to work myself up into a right state can someone please help.
And also its like I'm having spasms in my face just behind my nose and my top gums are tense is this dangerous can I stop breathing. Can someone just please right to me I feel so lonely right now. I've been doing so well to

[lauren6]

Nicola, this is a very common fixation we get with anxiety. You start to control your breathing out of fear. Please be assured that our autonomic nervous system lets us breathe involuntarily. All day and night. Think of it this way, animals don't have to control their breathing, right? They just do it on their own. Your body will not allow you to stop breathing. You can control the lengths of your breath for a while but it will take over the normal rhythm as soon as you stop focusing and of course, while you sleep. Watching our breathing is a way we try to take control. It supposedly is one of the most common things anxious people do when they get in a real tizzy. Try to find a distraction and you will see that your breathing will take over on its own just fine.

[Nicola_lou]

Thanks lauren I'm trying to distract myself but I don't think I can I'm so wrapped up in this I just wish I could sleep but I just can't bring myself to try, and these spasm in my face and head I'm so nervous about and cause I'm alone I think I'm going to claspe and who is going to save me, why am I like this I've just had enough of myself.

[lauren6]

I can't know what the spasms in your face are about (maybe an involuntary twitching from stress) or the numbness. I know for myself, I am also scared to be alone if something happens. But the more I worry, the more I work myself into a bunch of symptoms until I think I am going to go absolutely mad and can't cope. We just have days like this. I think everyone gets stress but ours manifests itself by focusing inward. I think if we recognize that this is just anxiety playing tricks, it helps. I get totally exasperated and then I just go on and the next day I am better. Is this a particularly stressful week for you?

[Nicola_lou]

Yes I guess you could say its been a more stressful week than others. My boyfriends nan passed away we have been visiting her in hospital so I've tried to be helpful to my boyfriend and there's the funeral that I have to be strong for my boyfriend his nan brought him up so its like a mother to him. And all I can thinka bout is myself I'm so selfish.
I'm going back to work as well on thursday haven't been for 4 months and have to go into training next week, but if the funeral next week and I got training I'm in a dilema. It either refuse training with my team and be doing a complete different job to them and go through training l8r with people I don't know. See I'm always thinking about myself.
So this week I guess I have been getting worked up.

[lauren6]

Nicola, it's not selfish. It's the timing and this is what happens. People get stressed out when the demands are too great and then it seems like they are the focus, not the people who may need our support. I remember when my Dad had a heart operation, I had to pretend I was fine when in fact I was doubled over with tummy pain (stress...it went away). My family thought I wanted attention but I fell apart. But in no way did I feel selfish, it was a consequence of the stress. The minute something horrible happens, I get symptoms and sometimes a whole load of them. I had about 5 different diseases today and told nobody because they'd put me in the loony bin. I am also under stress now and just jump from one symptom to another. And I go to sleep (try to, like you) and am so down on myself for being this way. I hope by the time I write this, being that you're 5 hours later, that you are sleeping. It's really hard to lay awake thinking about this stuff!

[Nicola_lou]

i wish i coild sleep. sorry to hear your having a stressful time to, i guess all that has happened has really got to me. ive been ok for 3 weeks i just think whenever something happens i will just crumby like this. other people dont think they will stop breathing when something happens im mad at myself for thinking this way but yet still do it.
yes its 2.20am now here and i wish i was morning or afternoon i could call someone or go out somewhere. i also noticed when its nice whether i feel better more motivation which isnt good cause the weather here is s**t, to put it bluntly.
how you feeling? you mentioned a steessful week unless my eyes have now gone totally blurred.


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[lauren6]

Hi Nicola...I stupidly watched Oprah, thinking it was about swine flu, which doesn't bother me to watch but it was about worse diseases that scared the daylights out of me. I am very suggestible so just had to get out for a walk and get this out of my mind. It's really hot here this week (92 today) and that has made me feel so tired. Just a few days ago I was wearing a down coat!

[Nicola_lou]

I know i had a glimps of the symtoms earlier and now cause the back of my neck is acking i thinking oh no. i read that oprah suffers with anxiety to dont know if its true but you never can really tell.
i love the warm weather probably cause we dont get it often, i think ill move to the usa and get my mood change,ha. i wish if i had the money to move i prob would.
this air hunger is a proper nightmare i got it coming again now great cant wait its now 3am and ill be a dying duck tomorrow, or ill prob sleep till late. ill have to try and sleep early tomorrow means i got work thursday these little things are getting so hard.

[justbananas]

lauren, you're so funny .. i'm glad i didn't watch Oprah, i saw the previews and was going to watch it but then decided i didn't need the stress! i work for part of that production sector and i can tell you - they just look for interesting stories that make good investigative reports, not necessarily super relevant current issues. try not to worry about it! where r u from btw?

[lauren6]

Hi bananas, I am from New York. Where are you from? I think Oprah was wrong to air that show just when people are freaked out from the swine flu. We didn't need to see this! Glad you didn't watch it, it was the scariest thing I have ever seen!

[justbananas]

hey i'm from NYC also - upper west side. am staying in chicago right now though for the summer and must say i'm happy to be avoiding the subway there! i'm trying not to be an alarmist but you know how it goes, especially being a new yorker it's easy to be on edge all the time!! the funny thing is, i'm pretty sure they had all that stuff in their production schedule prior to all of this blowing up so perhaps didn't intend to scare monger. glad i didn't end up watching though!