Health Anxiety & Seconds (Parents, Friends, ect)

[Kraggy]

Well this is something that has been bothering me, How do I handle people that do not understand Health Anxiety.

Yesterday evening at work I had an hour break with 2 friends of mine, One which I have known for the past 10 years and I see as my best friend..

Well the entire hour was filled with them laughing their asses off at me, Going "The food your eating is chemical and might give you cancer" and stuff like that, At points like that I get put infront of a difficult choice, Get angry with them, Or just smile and try to ignore it...I chose the second..Untill at one point when I just snapped for a split second, yelling "Shut the f*ck up" in my friends face as loud as I could. Sure they stopped...for about 10 minutes and then it started again, They just saw the outburst like more reason to laugh at me it seems...Since comments like "Better stay away or he might smash his plate in your face" started to pop up aswell...

Earlier today I had just about the same thing with my parents, lately I have been buying my own food, More healthy stuff, Brown bread, Milk, Stuff like that..Which they decided to ask me why I was doing that, I said I wanted to to start eating a bit more healthy. At which they got angry, yelling stuff like "You are healthy! I am getting sick of that attitude of yours!" and "Why cant you stop beeing so god damn afraid and just trust the doctor!?" at me.

Events like this are making the Health Anxiety alot harder, and I am wondering how others handle situations like this?

Kind regards,

Kraggy

[bex1970]

It's a really tricky one - and something we all suffer from - it's a simple case of someone not understanding how you are feeling.

I think you have to try and see it from their point of view (if you expect them to see yours) - you seem perfectly healthy and well to them and, as far as they are concerned, there is nothing wrong with you and the doctors have told you many times that there isn't - so, to them, you are kicking up a fuss about nothing.

To you, though, it's very real and terrible and my God, we all wish we didn't worry so much about our health. What is difficult to make them understand is that we genuinely are frightened, all the time and are in need of constant reassurance. That is very hard for anyone to give all the time - a bit like someone constantly asking the time - annoying... especially as we generally want the same answers - 'of course you're ok - I can't see anything' etc.

In terms of the food front - perhaps you shouldn't try and make your friends eat healthily - just yourself - it's their decision and judging them on what they eat and drink is perhaps unfair - if they choose to eat and drink in a way that seems potentially wrong, that is their choice. Just like it is yours to eat well and stay as healthy as you can.

As to your parents - did you make them feel as though they were in the wrong with their food and lifestyle choices too? And I suspect they are worried about you as well - people often shout and get annoyed when they are.

I would talk to them properly. Try to explain how every small health issue scares you half to death - make it more real to them and perhaps don't judge them or your friends too harshly just because they don't understand you and how you are feeling - to be fair, HA, if you don't suffer from it, is very hard to understand. Perhaps see your GP and talk to them too - see if you can get on a CBT course or something.

All HA sufferers have issues with their partners etc. but it is hard for them too as well as us. I really feel for you because my husband is not sympathetic either....

[lauren6]

I know how hurtful this can be because my family is not understanding either. What you have to realize though is that their level of maturity and sensitivity is their problem. They don't know how to handle your situation. How nice it would be if they instead of laughing, would say "Would you like to talk about it?" and "What can I do to help?" They are not capable of this. You can't personalize their comments. It is truly their deficiency that they can't see beyond their own skin. They may not be able to change.

You can get them alone and have a talk. Ask them if they think you LIKE being this way. Explain the struggle...maybe they can understand and even though they may not relate to it, EVERYONE struggles. Ask them how they think it makes you feel when they laugh. People back down when they're one to one. You're not doing this to make them uncomfortable...but to save the relationship. I let go of some lifetime friends, it didn't matter the length of time I knew them, what mattered was the quality of the relationship. You may have to evaluate what they really mean to you and if they are doing you more harm than good, they may not be worth keeping. Your family you are stuck with but you can choose friends.

I am sorry you went through this but please see this as their inability to help others. What they did is very childlike. If you have a talk and they show no signs of understanding, drop them. You have the power to choose who is in your life...don't let anyone make you feel inadequate.