Losing Motivation for Recovery -family abandonment

[Bluebelle]

I am in the midst of a serious depression and I have GAD and in the past I have been house bound and unable to drive
I am feeling really sad. I seem to have lost my motivation for recovery largely due to my family.
Usually we have a really close knit family (all involved in a family business) and I have always been there to support my family members for any issues they might be experiencing.
Now I am in this horrible depression and my family has abandoned me. I live by myself with just my tiny dog and kitty cat. No one ever checks on me- before my depression took hold of me - my family phoned me constantly sometimes a business question sometimes not. My phone number is unlisted so I knew that if my phone rang I could answer it as it would family. I would always be involved in discussions and included in decision making.

Now no one ever phones me and at work -conversations stop if I am around- I feel so isolated and abandoned. I spoke to my sister about this and she said everyone is worried and doesn't want to cause me extra stress. Which made me feel worse because if everyone knows I am suffering why isn't anyone checking on me? She said " Everyone knows you're suffering but the best thing for you is to be left alone to figure this out yourself..."

I feel horrible about this and it has been escalating for about a week now, getting worse and worse. Yesterday I made an appointment with my GP and have started on citalopram because I can't deal with my depression AND this family abandonment - it is too much.

I feel like I don't even know my family and they don't know me. I need help company and friendship from my family because I don't have friends outside of work. I can't believe no one is there for me because they think I can figure this out on my own. I feel like I have nothing, no one to recover for, like no one cares if I am here or not. I can't believe that I contribute so little to their lives that they are going to leave me alone to figure this out. My sister said everyone is afraid of me and so they can't talk to me- I really don't understand this. I am the one everyone comes and cries on if they're having a problem.

I feel like there is no reason for me to recover- especially if there are all these misinterpretations. Like even if I do beat this depression and anxiety I will have to go through years to try and restore anyone's opinion of me.

I am really heartbroken by this abandonment. If it weren't for NMP I wouldn't have any support

Thank you for taking time to read this.

[suzy-sue]

Aww Bless you Bluebelle,your family are obviously dealing with this in a way they think will be best for you.Its hard for people to understand what its like if they have not experienced it themselves,Being depressed is a very issolating condition and we tend to react to situations sometimes with very negative response. Can you write a letter to your family explaining how you feel and how the way they are are making you feel at the moment? as i know from experience how important it is to get support through this diffcult period in your life..Im on Citalopram and they have made me feel so much better.Im sure you will be much better soon, it usuallly takes a while for them to stabilise in your system,, before you feel the benefits . Good luck with everything !:bighug1: Luv and hugs SUE

[Krakers]

Hi Bluebelle, sorry to hear everything is getting a bit much at the moment.

Its difficult for me to comment on the family aspect, as mine have been useless and of the opinion it was just something I could snap out of. Having said that I have a partner and daughter who have been there throughout, although I have isolated them for long periods at times.

The motivation for getting better though is you. You do it for yourself, because you deserve to be better. Everything else after that would be nice but it you thats your own number one priority.

Depression and anx often go hand in hand. You've been well before, so you know its possible. Knowing and believing are two different things though. Take each day at a time and go to sleep at night believing tomorrow will be better. If it isn't, then theres always the next day.

I know its easier said than done. When I was bad it was for many months at a time with the odd day being ok. Gradually it became a few days, then a week, then longer.

Believe in yourself - whatever the world throws at you theres always one person who'll always be there for you, and thats you.

Krakers.

[skyblue]

hi bluebelle

sorry you are having a rough time,and feeling so low,please be kind to yourself,talk to your sister perhaps just the two of you,tell her you are struggling at the moment,and explain to her you need some support while you recover,just maybe a phone call everyday,try and call your sister once a week,see how that goes doesnt have to be a long talk,just the fact youve picked up the phone..families sometime dont know what to do for the best.
give your self small tasks to do in the evening,a goal,somthing small,to build on.

take care

skyxx

[artyemma]

Hey Bluebelle you are not alone you have this forum and can make lots of nice new friends on it. Maybe this is what your mood is trying to tell you that you need more time for you and not to look after others.

xx